Why does even a very tired baby falling asleep in your arms start crying when he suddenly finds himself alone in the crib? And why does an older child rarely go to sleep on his own and sometimes fall asleep right during the game, one might say, against his will?

Every little one craves most of all the closeness of his parents. Being alone in bed means for him to part with his parents, no longer feel their soothing closeness and native warmth. Of course, a rare kid will agree to this without protest, especially if he is spoiled by parental attention during the day and "does not get away with it."

Often, the baby falls asleep while breastfeeding or in the arms of her mother. Having once noticed that as soon as he falls asleep, how his mother tries to carefully shift him into a crib, the baby will next time resist sleep with all his might so as not to miss this moment. When he falls asleep, he will sleep very sensitively. Feeling how you shift him to the crib, he will immediately wake up and express his disagreement with a loud cry. Try to sleep yourself if you know, for example, that as soon as you close your eyes, someone will steal your blanket ...

Maybe the baby happened to wake up at night in a crib with a wet, cold, hungry or frightened terrible dream. He felt lonely and forgotten, and he had to wait longer for his mother to come than during the day. After such an experience, the baby may experience a subconscious fear of sleep and protest when he is alone in his crib.

Very often the baby we are trying to put to sleep is just not tired enough yet.

For an older child, going to bed means parting with some an interesting activity, end the game, say goodbye to the guests sitting in the next room, etc.

Knowing that parents or older brothers and sisters do not go to bed yet, the baby does not want to agree with such "injustice".
Some children are afraid of the dark.

Sometimes kids don't want to go to bed just because we spoiled them. The child uses the evening persuasion of the parents to prolong the time, or they serve him as an occasion for self-affirmation.

So, five-year-old Verochka came up with a new reason every evening to stay up. Now she was thirsty, then she could not find her favorite toy, then the pillow moved to one side. On other days, she called her mother because she forgot to kiss her goodnight or ask her about something important. Sometimes Vera's pajamas slipped off, sometimes she was too hot or cold. From time to time she heard strange noises in the room or saw shadows moving along the wall. On some days, she wanted to go to the toilet several times in a row or an empty stomach would not let the girl fall asleep. Either something itched in Vera, or it hurt ... But in fact, the girl simply enjoyed the attention of her mother, who returned several times every evening to her daughter's room and reassured her.

If many children are afraid of the dark, then Sashenka was afraid of silence. Parents did not know this for a long time and unsuccessfully tried to teach the boy to fall asleep alone in his room for closed door. Once, as usual, after closing the door to his room, my mother went to the kitchen. To her surprise, she did not hear the usual cries and protests this time. Thinking that the baby had finally learned to fall asleep alone, mom got busy homework- washed dishes, cleaned them, boiled tea, etc. When she finished her business and went to see if her son was really sleeping, she found that the door to the children's room was wide open and the boy was sleeping peacefully in his bed. Sasha learned to get out of the crib and opened the door on his own! And the clatter of dishes, the splash of water and the noise of a boiling kettle meant for him that his mother was nearby and, therefore, he could sleep peacefully ...

Sometimes it may turn out that helping your baby fall asleep is easier than you thought. So, timid children can be calmed by a night light or opened door in the nursery, and older children fall asleep more readily if they are allowed to go to bed an hour later.

How to get your little one to fall asleep on their own

It is possible to teach a child to fall asleep without the help of parents and without any aids at any age. But babies aged 1.5 to 3 months get used to it most easily. Therefore, it is better to start with accustoming gradually from birth, while the child is not yet accustomed to various kinds of unfavorable rituals, from which it is not so easy to wean him later. If such habits have already developed, parents will need a little more patience, because the baby is unlikely to give them up voluntarily. But even in this case, the problem is completely solvable, and it will most likely take no more than a week to solve it!

1. To accustom to falling asleep on your own baby, you need to put him alone in a crib from the very beginning as often as possible, nevertheless remaining next to him. If you carry the baby in your arms all day or rock him in the stroller during the day, then, being alone in a motionless bed, he will feel insecure. This feeling will be unusual for the baby, and he is unlikely to be able to sleep peacefully. Accustomed to the crib, the baby feels calm there, and in a familiar environment, any child falls asleep better.
2. Putting a baby alone in a crib does not mean leaving him there for a long time, especially if he cries. Of course not, crying baby need to calm down. But once he's stopped crying, don't carry him around. Put him down again so that he can see you or hear your voice. Talk to him, sing to him, but leave him in the crib so that he gradually gets used to it. Among other things, the child will learn to deal with himself in this way: look at his hands or play with them, look around, listen to the sounds around him, etc. Well, you yourself will have time to redo more things that you would not have had time if you had the baby was in your arms all the time.
3. If the baby at first falls asleep only on your chest, it's okay. You don't need to wake him up. For starters, it will be enough if he gets used to his bed while awake. When he has a regimen with a certain sleep time, you need to gradually begin to separate food and sleep. Babies who like to fall asleep on the breast or with a bottle are best fed when they wake up, or at least some time before bedtime. And by the time when the baby usually falls asleep, you need to put him alone in the crib. By this time, he is already tired and his "internal clock" has switched to sleep, so it will be easier for him to fall asleep without your help.
4. At first, it is not necessary to put the child alone in the crib before going to bed every time. You can start with once or twice a day, at the very time when, in your experience, the baby falls asleep most easily. For most children, it is evening, but there are children who fall asleep faster in the morning or afternoon. The main thing is that you and the baby feel that falling asleep on their own is, in principle, possible. Then it will become a habit - it's just a matter of time.
5. But what if you put the baby in the crib before going to bed and he starts to cry bitterly? Try to calm him down first without picking him up. Pet him, sing a song, talk to him, tell him how much you love him. Explain that it's time for bed to gain new strength, that you are there and will protect the baby while he sleeps. If the baby is still crying, pick him up. But as soon as he calms down, put him back in the crib. Crying again - try to calm down again without picking up, and only then, if all in vain, take the baby out of the crib. Maybe he is still too small and it is worth waiting a couple of weeks, so that then again carefully begin to accustom him to falling asleep on his own.
6. Some babies are helped to sleep by a pacifier. But as soon as the baby is sound asleep, carefully remove the pacifier from his mouth, otherwise he will wake up when he loses it in his sleep. And if the baby, waking up at night, is looking for a pacifier and cries, then it can become an effective help only when he learns to find it himself.
7. Babies sleep better in their first months of life if they rest the top of their head against a rolled-up diaper, pillow, or backboard protected by a blanket. It reminds them of the feeling in the womb. (My daughter loved this feeling even in her older years. I always covered the top headboard with a blanket, and my daughter fit on the very top of the pillow to rest her head on the back.)
8. You can also swaddle the baby tighter before going to bed, which will also remind him of crampedness before birth. And when the baby gets older, a sleeping bag or a mother's shirt tied at the bottom with a knot can help him.
9. Mother's smell generally has a calming effect on babies, and you can just put something from mom's (worn) clothes next to the baby's head.
10. But do not forget that the main condition for the child to fall asleep on his own is the right time for bedtime. The kid must really get tired, otherwise attempts to put him down will not be successful. The easiest way to do this is if you have already introduced a strict daily routine. In this case, you know in advance when the "internal clock" of the child will switch to sleep. If not, then you will have to rely on your intuition and experience. A tired baby begins to yawn, rub his eyes or act up for no reason. Try to guess the best moment, when his eyes are already closing by themselves, to put him alone in the crib.

For many parents, this topic is a burning one. Indeed, every evening we put the children to bed: we read fairy tales, sing lullabies, persuade, lull ... All this can go on for quite a long time. Sometimes the process of falling asleep lasts more than an hour. All the songs are sung, fairy tales follow one another, and the baby keeps spinning and spinning. Is it possible to teach a child to fall asleep on his own? And if so, how to do it?

It is quite possible to realize this idea. You will need some knowledge, patience, consistency in your actions and confidence that everything will work out. And of course - an individual approach. All children are different and there cannot be a single algorithm of actions. There is only a certain scheme, which will vary to some extent in each case. Usually, a mother feels best of all what her baby is already ready for, and what needs to be delayed. Therefore, it is more worth relying on your maternal intuition.

Individuality begins to manifest almost from birth. Some children begin to fall asleep on their own from infancy, mostly they are calm, slow babies. Mobile and emotional babies often cannot fall asleep themselves and require at this moment someone's presence, more often than their mother's. This is due to the fact that the child's nervous system is still imperfect, the processes of excitation and inhibition are not balanced. Probably, many parents notice that a child who has played out cannot stop (even when he no longer wants to run and jump) and begins to act up. This happens because the nervous system is "overloaded" with the information received. And by the evening, as a rule, the number of impressions accumulates, so it is difficult for the child to calm down on his own, this requires outside intervention.

Babies often like to fall asleep (and sometimes sleep) near their mother's chest. They still have a largely sucking reflex, a need to feel their mother's warmth. They feel safe next to her and this feeling is still very necessary for them. So if breast baby categorically does not want to fall asleep on his own, do not insist. It is hardly possible to explain something to him now, so be patient until he grows up a little. Older children can already be gradually led to the fact that they need to fall asleep on their own. At what age it is better to start - it is difficult to determine exactly. One child in a year with a little will learn without problems, and the other in two and a half will require the presence of his mother. So this should be approached selectively.

The best place to start is with preparation. As already mentioned, by the evening the amount of information received is such that it is difficult for the child to cope with it. Therefore, as a rule, capriciousness intensifies in the evening. An hour and a half before bedtime, switch the baby to calm games. It is better if toys, plots and books are familiar to him - there are enough new impressions for today. Save for this purpose a book already read more than once, but not used for several days (or an already familiar game, toy). You can periodically leave the child alone in the room at this time, while making sure that he does not start to get nervous, worried or too "play out". Play around with your baby before going to bed near his bed. Among other calm plots, the following can be suggested: putting the dolls to bed, putting the cars in the garage, putting the cubes in a box, or something else on a “sleepy” theme. Perhaps at first it will not work out, since the child at this particular time will want to play football or learn new dance. In this case, be patient, keep calm and believe in success, because children only learn everything. And this process is not always easy, moreover, it is the adult who plays the leading role in it. Your mood is transmitted to the child, so it is very important not to lose optimism.

But now it's time to go to bed. All the toys are stacked, the evening exercise is over and the baby is already in bed. It remains to sing a lullaby, wish good night, kiss the child and leave him to fall asleep alone. Here it is important to introduce and subsequently observe a certain “falling asleep ritual” - a set of actions that will mean that the day is over and it's time to rest. You can first lie down next to the baby, tell how wonderful he is, how you love him, be proud of him, what a treasure he is ... It is better to avoid direct gaze"eye to eye" - it helps to establish emotional contact. And it doesn't help you fall asleep at all. So lay the baby facing away from you. It is better to give preference to a simple lullaby than a fairy tale: interesting story includes fantasy and here, too, it becomes not up to sleep. If the child is very insistent, you can tell your favorite fairy tale, it is better if it is simple and short. Set up the baby that it is time for him to fall asleep on his own, since he is already big, that you are always there and therefore there is nothing to be afraid of. It is very possible that the child will call you very soon - come back, calm down, kiss and again leave one. At first, you will need several of these "approaches", but over time, the child will begin to fall asleep very quickly. It is important that he does not cry for a long time without you - be there, literally "at a squeak distance." If your child has a favorite toy, offer to fall asleep with it.

It is much more convenient for mom and more interesting for the baby - to go to bed not in the crib where he slept from birth, but, for example, on his own sofa. There are examples when difficulties with falling asleep disappeared when the child got his own sofa: he became interested, he is “like an adult”. This will be relevant for older children - at 2-3 years old, when the child will already be able to appreciate such "involvement" in the world of adults.

If the mother is mostly with the baby, then you can instruct the father (or another family member whom the child does not see so often) to put him down. As a rule, with dads, children are much less capricious and behave calmer. Persuasion and suggestion that it's time to fall asleep on your own, from dad's lips, will most likely have an effect. After all, you can “influence” your mother with tears, screams, but such a number basically does not work with dad. The methodology remains the same, although if dad offers some kind of reasonable innovation, it’s worth listening.

A good helper in teaching a child to fall asleep on his own is the daily routine. Children who are accustomed to going to bed at the same time, as a rule, behave more calmly in life and, therefore, will be able to fall asleep themselves more easily and faster. If the child does not have a regimen, it is worth working out. This will make it easier for both you and him. Here, almost everything depends on parental self-discipline. Of course, it will take a lot of patience, perseverance and consistency, but the result will please you in the end.

As a rule, children who fall asleep on their own fall asleep fairly quickly. 5-10 minutes and the baby is already asleep. This is good not only for parents, but also for the child himself. Do not forget that all children are different. And if the baby resists your actions, does not want to fall asleep without a mother, cries and insists on her presence - no need to persist. Postpone this for a while. The child grows rapidly, matures, grows wiser. Perhaps in a few weeks everything will turn out much faster and easier. Just try again after a while.

So there are four very effective methodsteach your child to fall asleep on their own.But in order to choose the right method that is suitable for your specific case, you need to.

Self-soothing method

It consists in the soft impact of verbal and tactile "sedative" means that will help the baby learn to fall asleep and calm down after waking up on their own.

Your actions:

If your child is having trouble sleeping, start your bedtime rituals at the same time each day. Do not forget that they contribute to calming: a warm bath, subdued light, a bedtime story (soft intonations of the mother's voice lull the child well), quiet calm music. When it's time for bed, put your baby in the crib and stay close. As soon as you notice that his eyes are closed, carefully exit the room. If the baby felt this and cried, come back, but do not pick him up, but start talking quietly. The main task is to make sure that when he hears your voice, he calms down, and then falls asleep himself. Gradually, the baby gets used to the fact that when he wakes up at night, he is not picked up. In turn, with the help of a baby monitor, you can soothe the baby with your voice without getting up. After two or three weeks of this regimen, the child can already sleep more or less for a long time alone in his bed.

Psychologist's comment:

This is a fairly humane and relatively painless way to teach a child to independent sleep. The key point is precisely the consistency of the mother in her actions, her patience, confidence and trust in herself.("I'm doing the right thing"). Don't get hung up on deadlines! Remember that they are very individual. Someone will be able to accustom a child to independent sleep in a few weeks, the parents of another baby may need more time. It is also important to understand that there may be periods when the baby will not be able to calm down on his own, but will be rather whiny and anxious (for example, after vaccination, a complete medical examination by various specialists, after visiting guests or during teething). Your task is to remember this and look for ways to help both the child and yourself.

One more addition: in this method, it is recommended not to take the child in his arms if he began to cry. I urge parents not to go to the point of absurdity and make a decision depending on the situation. Firstly, do not allow the baby to become hysterical, up to coughing up his own saliva (and even more so vomiting). If the crying intensifies, thereby he informs that just the presence of his mother is nearby, her voice and strokes right now are not enough for him. Secondly, many parents know that babies cry in different ways. There is crying in pain, there is "hungry", etc.

The Long Goodbye Method

This option Ideal for parents who have a hard time with baby crying. How to teach a child to fall asleep if he starts to whimper as soon as you leave the nursery? Gradually move away from the crib: every day, putting the baby to bed, you should sit further and further away from him until you find yourself outside the room. Knowing that the mother is nearby, the child will gradually learn to fall asleep on his own without stress and fear. In turn, you will “let go of yourself” the baby, and you will have more time to do household chores and yourself.

YOUR ACTIONS

Put the baby in the crib at the moment when he is already sleepy, but has not yet completely fallen asleep. Sit next to him where he can see you. If the baby begins to whimper and ask to be held, stroke him gently and whisper something soothing (“Mom is here, everything is fine”). Respond to crying, but only hold the baby if it gets too violent. After the baby calms down, go back to the place where you were sitting earlier. Leave the room only after the baby falls asleep completely! You must be prepared for the fact that if he wakes up again in the middle of the night, you will have to “put him to sleep” in the same way as in the evening, sitting at the crib.

For the first three days, gradually move the chair further and further away from the crib. On the fourth day, it should be about halfway between the crib and the door, and on the seventh day, you should be sitting next to the doorway. Stay in the same place for another three to four days, while sitting with your back to the baby. After 10-14 days, the baby will sleep peacefully in the nursery alone.

PSYCHOLOGIST'S COMMENT:

First of all, I want to say that sitting with your back to the child is not very correct. Most likely, the baby will be anxious, because he does not see the face of his mother, her affectionate and “supporting” look, does not feel her mood. The figure of a parent sitting with her back to the child is the image of a “cold detached mother”. The baby can be scared (“Mom left me”). The method is declared as a “long goodbye”, so after seven days it is too early to be “near the doorway”. Of course, everything is individual here: maybe in a week one child will be ready to let go of his mother, and the other will not. Parents need to "feel" the situation. What can interfere with the lulling process here? The emotional state of the mother. For example, she is annoyed by something, or she is afraid that she will not be able to teach the child to sleep peacefully in the nursery, or if her thoughts are not next to the sleeping baby, but somewhere else. The child perfectly feels the state of the mother and "reflects" it through his behavior.

Therefore, if you decide to practice this method, put in order own feelings, emotions and thoughts.

The No Tears Method (based on How to Put Your Baby to Sleep Without Tears by Elizabeth Pantley)

The essence of the method in the analysis and, if necessary, changing the associations that arise in the child in connection with going to sleep. If the baby is used to falling asleep when he suckles or when you rock him in your arms, naturally, he will be naughty when you put him alone in the crib. How to teach a child to fall asleep in this case?

First of all, the author advises to start putting the baby to bed 1.5–2 hours earlier than the generally accepted time in each particular family of time. This will allow the child to avoid overwork, and also free up some extra time for mom.

Your actions:

If you notice that the baby falls asleep only in your arms, you will need to make an effort to change his associations associated with going to bed. Let the dream watch it several times in different conditions: in the car, at a party, when you rock it in a rocking chair. Also try to find something he is used to going to bed with. It doesn't have to be soft toy! Perhaps it will be a pacifier, or your handkerchief, or something else.

Reduce the time of night feedings and do not rush to the child at his first call. Learn to recognize the sounds that the baby makes at night in order to understand whether he actually woke up or not. Pretend to be asleep until you are sure that the child is demanding you, and not grunting or tossing and turning in his sleep. If he woke up at night and cried, give him a breast or a bottle, but do not wait until he falls asleep. Try to take away the "sedative" at the time of falling asleep. At the same time, you can press the child to yourself and shake it slightly, saying “shhh” and “hush-hush”. Then reduce the time of motion sickness: after waking up and feeding, put the baby in your crib as soon as possible and do all the same while being around. After some time, giving up night feedings, try not to take the baby in your arms after he woke up (stroke him, whisper soothing words, bending over the crib), then stop at the door if the baby woke up, and repeat the previous steps . At the final stage of applying the method, as the author says, you can calm the child by being at the door of the children's room or even outside the door.

Psychologist's comment:

Here, the choice of ways to “calm” is especially attractive: breastfeeding, and a dummy, and listening to the sounds that the baby makes. I would add another bottle of water during the period of reduced night feedings. The main thing is not to fuss and trust your maternal instinct. If not everything works out, and the child still falls asleep badly, in no case do not get annoyed, but continue to try, thereby expanding their capabilities. And, of course, remember that the emotional state of the baby is strongly influenced by the psychological microclimate in the family.

If the relationship between the parents is quite tense, there are protracted disagreements or other difficulties, most likely the child will not want to be separated from the mother: stay alone in the room, sleep without a breast, lie in the crib and “lull yourself” on their own. If he feels that “something is wrong”, he will need his mother as support: “She is near (breastfeeding, bottle feeding, putting to bed), with me, I see and feel her, she loves me, I am safe” .

Ferber method

Richard Ferber is an American professor who studies the problems of children's sleep. His methodology, published in 1985 and devoted to how to teach a child to fall asleep on his own, caused a storm of criticism. Ferber was based on the fact that the baby very quickly gets used to the constant presence of his mother, after which he refuses to fall asleep on his own. As a result, as the baby grows, putting him to bed takes a lot of time and effort from parents. It's believed that The Ferber method teaches the child from a very tender age to rely on his own strength to achieve the necessary comfort, and also trains his patience and humility..

Your actions:

How to teach a child to fall asleep? Ferber advises starting "training" with the usual bedtime ritual: bath, feeding, lullaby. Then you put the baby to bed, wish him good night and leave the room. Most likely, you will immediately hear a demanding whimper. Then you can return to the room to calm the baby. Get ready to do this many times, maybe more than 20 times a night! The time intervals through which you can enter the room depend only on the age of the child, his habits and your endurance. At first, you can return even in a minute. After you have entered the room again, calm the baby - with words or touches, but in no case take him out of the crib! If necessary, stay close as long as you like until he falls asleep again. Do this every time your baby wakes up. Starting on the second night, increase the intervals of your absence from the nursery each time. A lighter version of this method: practice being away from the child for several hours in a row only at night.

When trying to calm the child, it is advisable not to give him anything (neither the breast nor the bottle). The exception is a pacifier, which is best placed nearby so that the baby finds it himself. You should only enter the room when the baby is really crying, not whining. Professor Ferber is sure that sooner or later the method works: the child gets used to falling asleep on his own, even if he woke up at night and realized that he was alone in the room. The only strong recommendation: to obtain the consent (or at least non-interference) of the next of kin in the process of moving the crumbs to a separate bed.

Practice shows that dads are usually easier to follow this tactic and maintain time intervals than moms (especially nursing ones).

With the advent of the first-born, newly-made parents have not only a huge number of pleasant worries, but also many questions. Of particular concern is the problem of children's sleep. After all, all hopes that babies fall asleep on their own and sleep for hours are crumbling in the first week of communication with a newborn. Some have to rock the child for hours, while others have to lie next to him throughout the night. But the issue of children's sleep can be solved without any problems. You just need to have a little patience!

Sleep is an important element of harmonious development

Quality sleep plays a big role in everyone's life. Adults spend a third of their lives in the realm of Morpheus. Proper sleep is also very important for a baby who is awake only 6-7 hours a day. If a Small child does not want to fall asleep during the day, then something is bothering him. A healthy baby must have daytime rest.

Sleep is an essential component in mental and physical development. little man. It is during rest that growth hormone is produced. The deep sleep phase is especially important. At this time, new cells appear in the body, and the brain rests. Therefore, if the child does not fall asleep during the day, then he should definitely be helped. You need to tell a fairy tale or sing a song to the baby.

Hyperactivity in children can often be the result of a lack of sleep at night. Lack of sleep leads to the fact that the baby can not control his emotions. As a result, excessive tearfulness and capriciousness appear. Many parents try to correct the situation with the help of medications. But the only thing that needs to be done is to establish the correct sleep of the child.

Features of sleep in babies

In babies, as in adults, sleep is divided into phases. Many people think that they sleep continuously from evening to morning, but in fact they have to wake up several times a night. The only difference is that adults can easily fall asleep on their own and often do not even remember their nocturnal awakenings. But the child does not fall asleep on his own until. If he is already awake, he may need the help of mom or dad.

The sleep of children older than one year is already becoming more like an adult. Many children can already sleep without the help of their parents all night. Some even - in a separate room. But it often happens that the child does not want to fall asleep without his parents. Despite this, after a year the baby can already be accustomed to an independent sleeping place.

and baby sleep

Breastfed newborn babies eat almost constantly. The mother's breast for them is not only a source of nutrition. The baby with the help of sucking quickly calms down and falls asleep. This is not a problem for mothers who follow the natural parenting pattern. They offer the breast to the child at his first request.

It has long been proven that breast milk does not load the children's stomach. The child can eat even during sleep. But to parents whose babies are on artificial feeding, the issue of organizing sleep and nutrition should be treated with special attention.

Children who weigh more than 6 kg may well sleep through the night without feeding. Parents must with early age to accustom the child to the fact that in the evening the process of digestion stops. The exception, of course, is breastfeeding. It is advisable to give the baby a mixture no later than an hour before a night's sleep. If this rule is not observed, do not be surprised that the child does not fall asleep after feeding.

If the baby still wakes up at night, you can offer him to drink water. Just a few days - and you can forget about nighttime insomnia.

The benefits and harms of co-sleeping

Psychologists of the world do not get tired of repeating that it plays a huge role in its psycho-emotional development. The baby always feels safe, and therefore sleeps peacefully. In addition, joint sleep allows you to establish lactation from the very first days. Despite this, many parents even before giving birth are wondering how to teach a child to fall asleep on his own. At the same time, some immediately prefer to place the baby in a separate room.

Up to three months, every baby needs close contact with the mother. It is vital for him to feel her smell, to feel the warmth of her body. Therefore, co-sleeping at this age is especially important. If a child falls asleep with a tantrum, he should definitely be put in his bed!

Moms who sleep next to their baby all night manage to get a great night's sleep. After all, there is no need to get up for feeding. The baby can independently find the breast of the mother lying next to him. In this case, you can control the baby's body temperature, as well as respond to any of his needs. Co-sleeping also promotes rapid physical development child.

Sometimes you still have to think about how to teach a child to fall asleep on their own. Too sensitive mothers may be afraid to harm their child. In this case, sleep can not be called quality. Not the best option is a joint dream with both parents, if the father does not deny himself the use of alcoholic beverages. Alcohol significantly reduces sensitivity, which means that there is a possibility of suffocation of the baby in a dream.

The baby falls asleep with the breast

Many babies learn from an early age to fall asleep during feedings. Mom does not worry about this moment until a certain time. Sucking is one of the most important. Therefore, even if the child is not hungry, he quickly falls asleep, just a few minutes sucking on the breast. It is very convenient and fast way put the baby to sleep.

Sometimes you still have to wean the child to fall asleep with the breast. It happens that the baby does not let go of the mother's breast during the entire sleep. At the same time, the mother does not get enough sleep. In this case, the breast can be offered only when the baby is really hungry. But a simple pacifier will help put the baby to sleep.

Today, there are practically no pediatricians who would not talk about its dangers. The mother's breast substitute, of course, does not benefit the baby. But it is not harmful, if used wisely. It is worth offering a pacifier to a child only at bedtime. Giving a pacifier to a baby older than a year is not advisable.

The benefits and harms of motion sickness

Since ancient times effective way to calm the infant was considered motion sickness. They did it manually or with the help of special baby cradles. Our grandmothers and mothers rocked babies. Modern parents also use this method. But there are those who consider motion sickness harmful. They are partly right.

For many parents who are used to rocking, the child falls asleep only in their arms. It can be quite difficult to put him in the crib even after falling asleep. Any seemingly insignificant irritant can wake up a baby. In this case, the motion sickness process has to be repeated again.

Children under one year old have a weak vestibular apparatus. Rapid motion sickness can slow down the baby's brain. What parents take for a dream may turn out to be a loss of consciousness. In this case, teaching a child to fall asleep without motion sickness is very important for his physical health.

Despite this, thanks to the gentle swaying, the newborn feels the caress of the parents. And the old people say that people who were rocked in childhood grow up smart and calm.

How to teach a child to fall asleep without motion sickness?

Those who have taught their child to fall asleep with motion sickness will have to be patient. After all, it will not be possible for the baby to get used to falling asleep on his own the first time. The process must be gradual. In the warm season, daytime sleep can be combined with a walk on the street. Fresh air promotes fast and calm falling asleep. Babies sleep in the stroller for a long time and soundly.

If the child falls asleep only in his arms, even on the street, a sling will come to the rescue. With this device, the mother will not only be calm for her baby, but will also have time to do a lot of things. The sling makes parents more mobile and children calmer.

How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own if the weather is bad? Before going to bed, the baby should maximize his energy. You should actively spend time with your baby. You can do gymnastics with him or play educational games. Send the child to sleep only when he is really tired. In this case, the probability of self-falling asleep increases several times.

You should be prepared for the fact that motion sickness will be replaced by another ritual. You can tell the baby a story or sing a song before going to bed. Thus, the baby will unlearn from parental hands and begin to sleep much stronger.

When should you move your child to a separate room?

When children fall asleep in their own room, parents have much more freedom. Spouses can pay attention to each other or solve important issues. But not everyone can move the baby from the very first days to their own room. Yes, and this is not necessary. After all, close contact between mother and child in the first years of life is especially important.

Many parents wonder when and how to teach a child to fall asleep on their own and in a separate room. There is no universal advice on this matter. Each child reacts individually to the events that occur around him. Some children are ready for independent existence in a separate space from the first days of life. But there are those who are afraid to be alone with themselves even at school age.

Parents should develop their own tactics for relocating the baby to a separate space. At first, you will have to be with the child until he falls asleep. The time spent with a son or daughter will need to be reduced daily. Don't worry if the process is too slow. And you certainly can’t yell at a child who is afraid to be alone with himself.

Moving to a separate room is stressful for a baby. Parents should do everything so that he can quickly overcome his own fears.

Insomnia in a child

Moms and dads who are wondering how to teach a child to fall asleep on their own may face the problem of childhood insomnia. A kid who is afraid to be alone prepares himself on a subconscious level for a long wakefulness. After all, it is at this time that you can react as quickly as possible to the danger. The habit can also cause sleep deprivation. The baby has already formed a certain vision of life. Rocked - it's time to sleep, give breasts - it's time to eat. Breaking these habits is hard enough.

You can also look for other stimuli. The baby will never sleep if he is hungry, thirsty or in pain. At the same time, he will not only be awake, but also behave restlessly. In this case, the process of moving the child to a separate room will have to be moved. Any changes in the life of the baby should occur when he is completely healthy and full.

The atmosphere in the room also affects children's sleep. In the evening, be sure to ventilate the room. The optimum temperature is 18-20 degrees Celsius. If the room is too hot, the child will definitely not be able to fall asleep. Cold also does not contribute to sound and prolonged sleep.

Crash in and stay awake

Parents who do not know how to teach their child to fall asleep on their own often have to deal with the problem of disturbing the child's sleep and wakefulness regimen. Babies sleep for a long time during the day, and wake up at night and "walk" for a long time. The problem is solved quite simply. During the day, you need to keep your baby awake as long as possible. This, of course, is not easy. You will have to come up with various fun and distract the baby in the most interesting ways. But only a few days - and the regime will be restored.

Some rituals help to establish the correct routine and contribute to the rapid falling asleep. It is necessary to perform the same actions every day before going to bed. It can be water procedures, then feeding. It is undesirable to play active games with the baby immediately before bedtime. But you can read a book with bright pictures.

Diet is also important in terms of sleep. The penultimate feeding before a night's rest should not be satisfying enough. Then just before going to bed, the child will eat hearty and fall asleep for a long time. At the same time, it is not worth feeding the child later than an hour before falling asleep. Food should be digested and not interfere with the proper rest of the whole organism.

A child who has already switched to a one-time daytime sleep should fall asleep no later than noon. In this case, even before the evening, he will have time to gain new impressions and will be able to quickly and independently fall asleep in the evening.

Teaching a baby to sleep on his own is not so easy. There is no need to rush into this matter. The time will come - and the child will wish everyone good night and go to his bed without any problems. In the meantime, you should enjoy close contact with a small and such a dear little man.

Is it possible from the first days of a baby's life to learn to understand his "language" and begin to fully communicate with him? How to understand the character of a newborn in order to care for him, taking into account his personal characteristics and temperament? Are there simple and reliable solutions for common infant problems such as "unreasonable" crying or not wanting to sleep at night?

Tracey Hogg, specialist in newborn care, talks about this and much more. Her many years of experience and recommendations have helped so many families, including stellar ones, to cope with the difficulties of the first year of parenthood and raise happy and healthy babies. All of Tracy's advice is extremely practical and accessible to everyone, and the techniques she offers are extremely effective - perhaps because her approach is based on a respectful attitude towards newborn children, albeit small, but personalities.

Why this book is worth reading

• Tracey Hogg is one of the most famous authors of parent-child literature, she is recognized on a par with the eminent Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, William and Martha Sears;
• a must-have for all parents who have newborns: you will understand what to expect and learn to cope even with what you did not expect;
• the author will competently and kindly explain to every mother and father how to raise a happy child in love, respect and care;
• parents around the world call Tracy the modern Mary Poppins for her actionable advice;
• modern pediatricians recommend the author's books to parents all over the world.

Who is the author
Tracey Hogg is rightfully considered the modern Mary Poppins; all over the world, young mothers use her technique to fall asleep babies on their own.
The author was a nurse, and in order to help babies, she had to learn to understand their language and decipher the signals they sent. Thanks to this, Tracy was able to master their non-verbal language. After moving to America, she devoted herself to caring for newborns and women in childbirth and helping new parents.

Below we publish a chapter in which the author shares secrets on a topic that does not leave any parent indifferent: how to teach a baby to fall asleep on his own in his crib and sleep peacefully all night.

How to teach a baby to fall asleep on his own and sleep peacefully through the night?

My newborn baby was about two weeks old when I was suddenly deafened by the realization: I will never be able to rest again. Well, never is perhaps too strong a word. There was hope that by sending my son to college, I would still be able to sleep peacefully at night again. But I was ready to give my head for cutting off - as long as he is a baby, this does not shine for me.
Sandy Shelton. Calm night sleep and other lies

Sweet dreams, my dear!

In the first days of life, the main occupation of the newborn is sleep. Some sleep in the first week up to 23 hours a day! Of course, every living being needs sleep, but for a newborn it is everything. While the baby sleeps, his brain is working tirelessly to create convolutions necessary for mental, physical and emotional development. If the child had a good night's sleep, he is collected, focused and happy with everything - just like an adult after a good rest. He eats heartily, plays enthusiastically, radiates energy and actively communicates with others.

The body of a child who does not sleep well cannot function normally because his nervous system is depleted.

He is irritable and uncoordinated. The baby is reluctant to take the breast or bottle. He doesn't have the strength to explore the world. Worst of all, overwork exacerbates the sleep problem. The point is that bad sleep habits create a vicious circle. Some babies are so tired that they are physically unable to calm down and fall asleep. Only when there is absolutely no strength left, the poor things finally turn off. It hurts to watch how the baby literally stuns herself with her own crying, trying to isolate herself from the world, she is so overexcited and upset. But the worst thing is that even this hard-won dream turns out to be shallow and intermittent and sometimes lasts no longer than 20 minutes. As a result, the child almost constantly lives "on the nerves."

So, everything seems to be obvious. But would you know how many people do not understand this simple thing: to develop the habit of healthy sleep The baby needs parental guidance. So-called sleep problems are typical because many parents are unaware: they, and not their children, should decide when the baby goes to bed and how to fall asleep.

In this chapter I will tell you what I myself think about this, and many of my thoughts will certainly come into conflict with what you have read or heard from others. I'll teach you how to notice a baby's fatigue before it becomes overtired, and I'll tell you what to do if you miss a valuable time window when the baby is easy to put to bed. You'll learn how to help your baby fall asleep and how to eliminate sleep-related problems before they become a persistent problem.

Down with delusion: light sleep

Now the minds of parents are owned by two radically different "schools" from one another.
The first includes adherents of co-sleeping, whatever it is called, whether it is "sleeping in the parent's bed" or the Sears method. (Dr. William Sears, a California pediatrician, promotes the idea that babies should be allowed to sleep in their parents' bed until they ask to have their own bed.) This method is based on the idea that a child a positive attitude towards sleep and putting to bed should be developed (here I am “for” with both hands) and that the most correct way to this goal is to carry it in my arms, nurse and stroke it until the baby falls asleep (which I categorically object to). Sears, the method's most influential promoter, perplexed in an interview published in Child magazine in 1998: "How can a mother be tempted to put her child in a box of bars and leave him in a dark room all alone?"

Proponents of parent-infant co-sleeping often cite traditions from other cultures, such as Bali, where newborns are not let go until they are three months old. (But we don't live in Bali!) Members of the La Leche League believe that if the baby is having a hard day, the mother should stay in bed with him, providing him with the extra contact and care he needs. All this serves to “strengthen the attachment” and create a “sense of security,” so supporters of this view believe it is quite possible for mom and dad to sacrifice their time, personal life and their own need for sleep. And to make it easier for them to do this, Pat Yerian, an advocate for co-sleeping, whose opinion is given in the book “ women's art breastfeeding” (The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding), urges disgruntled parents to change their view of the situation: “If you can take a step towards greater tolerance [in relation to the fact that your child will wake you up], you will gain the ability to enjoy these quiet moments of the night communicating with a newborn who needs your hands and affection, or a little older baby who just needs to be with someone nearby.

At the other extreme is the delayed response method, often referred to as "Ferber" after Dr. Richard Ferber, director of the Center for the Study of Children's Sleep Disorders at Boston Children's Hospital. According to his theory, bad habits associated with sleep are acquired, which means that they can be weaned (with which I completely agree). Accordingly, he recommends that parents put the baby to bed when he is still awake and teach him to fall asleep on his own (I also agree with this). If the child, instead of falling asleep, begins to cry, actually turning to the parents with an appeal: “Come, take me away from here!” - Ferber advises to leave crying unattended for longer and longer periods of time: the first night for five minutes, the second for 10, then 15, etc. (and here Dr. Ferber and I part ways). Dr. Ferber’s explanation is given in Child magazine: “If a kid wants to play with a dangerous object, we say “no” and set boundaries that can cause him to protest .... The same thing happens when we explain to him that there are rules at night. Sleeping well at night is in his own interest.”

Perhaps you have already joined one or the other camp.
If any of these two methods suits you and your child, fits your lifestyle, do not hesitate, continue in the same spirit. But the fact is that I often get calls from people who have already experienced both of these approaches. Events usually unfold in the following way. One parent initially favors the idea of ​​co-sleeping with their child and convinces their partner or partner that this is the best thing to do. In the end, there really is something romantic in this - a kind of return "to the origins." And night feedings are no longer a problem. The enthusiastic couple decide not to buy a crib at all. But a few months pass - sometimes quite a lot - and the idyll ends. If mom and dad are very afraid of “sleeping” the child, then they themselves may lose sleep due to constant fears, and someone develops a painful sensitivity to the slightest sound made by the baby in a dream.

The baby may wake up frequently—every two hours—and demand attention. And if it is enough for some kids to stroke or hug them tightly so that they fall asleep again, then others think it's time to play. As a result, parents are forced to roam around the apartment: one night they play with the child in the bedroom, the other they doze in the living room, trying to catch up. Be that as it may, if both of them were not 100% convinced of the correctness of the chosen method, internal resistance begins to grow in one of them who succumbed to the persuasion of the other. This is where this parent grabs the “Ferber” method.

The couple decides it's time for the baby to get her own bed and buy a crib. From the point of view of the baby, this is a revolution, the collapse of the familiar world: “Here are my mom and dad, they put me to bed with them for several months, rocked me, roamed, spared no effort to make me happy, and suddenly - bang! I was rejected, evicted to another room, where everything is alien and frightening! I don’t compare myself to a prisoner and I’m not afraid of the dark, because my infantile mind does not know such concepts, but I am tormented by the question: “Where did everyone go? Where are the native warm bodies that have always been there?” And I cry - otherwise I can not ask: "Where are you?" And they finally show up. They stroke me, ask me to be smart and sleep. But no one taught me how to fall asleep on my own. I'm still a baby!"

In my opinion, radical methods are not suitable for all children. Obviously, they did not suit the children whose parents turn to me for help. Personally, I prefer to stick to what I consider the golden mean from the very beginning. I call my method "smart approach to sleep."

What is a smart approach to sleep?

This is the middle way, refusing any extremes. You will notice that my approach takes some of both of these principles, but not all, because, in my opinion, the idea of ​​"let him cry and sleep" is not compatible with respectful attitude to the child, and joint sleep makes parents sacrifice their own interests. My principle takes into account the interests of the family as a whole, the needs of all its members. On the one hand, the baby must be taught to fall asleep on his own - he must feel comfortable and safe in his own bed. On the other hand, he also needs our presence to calm down after stress. You can not start solving the first problem until the second is solved. At the same time, parents also need proper rest, time that they can devote to themselves and each other; their life should not revolve around the baby around the clock, but they still have to give the baby some time, effort and attention. These goals are by no means mutually exclusive. Next, I will tell you what a reasonable approach to sleep is based on, and with this in mind, you will solve all the problems that lie ahead of you. Throughout the text of the chapter, I will give examples of the practical implementation of each element, so that it would be easier for you to master the first "C" of my wonderful PASS (Nutrition - Activity - Sleep - Free time parents - read more about this in other chapters - approx. Maternity.ru).

Three phases of sleep

Falling asleep, the child goes through these three phases. The whole cycle lasts about 20 minutes.

Phase 1: "window". Your child cannot say, "I'm tired." But he will demonstrate this to you by yawning and other fatigues. Before he yawns a third time, put him to bed. If this is not done, he will not proceed to the second phase of falling asleep, but will cry.

Phase 2: "off". The beginning of this phase is marked by the characteristic look of the child, frozen, directed to no one knows where - I call it "a look into the far distance." The child holds it for 3-4 minutes, and although his eyes are open, in fact he does not look anywhere - his consciousness hovers somewhere between reality and sleep.

Phase 3: "sleep". Now the child resembles a person who dozed off on the train: the eyes close, the head falls on the chest or to the side. It seems that he has already fallen asleep, but it was not there: the eyes suddenly open wide, the head jerks back to its previous position, so that the whole body trembles. Then the eyelids close again, and everything repeats again and again from three to five times, after which he finally sinks into sleep.

Go where you want to go. If the idea of ​​co-sleeping appeals to you, explore it thoroughly. Is this how you would like to spend every night for three months? Six months? Longer? Remember: everything you do is teaching your child. So, if you help him fall asleep by holding him to your chest or rocking him for 40 minutes, you are actually telling him: “So you should fall asleep.” When deciding to go this way, you must be prepared to follow it for a long time.

Independence does not mean neglect. When I say to the mother or father of a newborn baby, “We have to help her become independent,” they look up at me in amazement: “Independent? But, Tracy, she's only a few hours old!" “When do you think we should start?” I ask.

No one, even scientists, can answer this question, because we do not know when exactly the baby begins to comprehend the world in the full sense of the word. "So start right now!" I urge. But teaching independence doesn't mean stopping crying alone. This means meeting the needs of the baby, including picking her up when she cries - because by doing this she is trying to tell you something. But once her needs are met, she needs to be let go.

Watch without interfering. You may remember that I already gave this recommendation when talking about games with a baby. It is also true for sleep. Every time a baby falls asleep, it goes through a sequence of certain phases (see "The Three Phases of Falling Asleep"). Parents should know this sequence well so as not to violate it. We should not interfere with the natural processes of the child's life, but observe them, giving the crumbs the opportunity to fall asleep on their own.

Don't make your child dependent on crutches."Crutch" I call any object or any action, having lost which the child experiences stress. It is not necessary to hope that the baby will learn to fall asleep on his own, if you suggest to him that daddy's hands, half an hour of motion sickness or mommy's nipple in her mouth is always at his service. As I noted in Chapter 4, I approve of the use of pacifiers, but not as a plug for a crying baby. Putting a pacifier or breast on a baby to shut his mouth is simply impolite. Moreover, if we do this or endlessly carry the crumbs in our arms, cradle and rock, in order for her to fall asleep, we actually form her addiction to the “crutch”, depriving her of the opportunity to develop self-soothing skills and learn to fall asleep without outside help.

By the way, a "crutch" is not at all the same as a transitional object - say, a plush toy or a blanket - which the child chooses himself and to which he becomes attached. Most infants under seven or eight months of age are not capable of this - the "attachments" of very young children are for the most part formed by parents. Of course, if your baby is comforted by a favorite toy hanging in her crib, let her have it. But I am against any things that you give her to calm her down. Let her find her own ways to calm down.

Develop rituals for daytime and nighttime sleep. Putting the baby to bed during the day and in the evening should always be a routine. I never tire of emphasizing: babies are incredible traditionalists. They prefer to know what's next. Studies have shown that even very young children, trained to expect certain stimuli, are able to anticipate them.

Learn about your baby's sleep habits. All “recipes” for how to put a baby to sleep have a common drawback: there are no universal remedies. One suits one, another another. Yes, I offer parents a lot of advice. general, including introducing them to the phases of falling asleep common to all, but I always advise you to carefully look at your child, the one and only.

The best thing is to keep a sleep log of your baby. In the morning, write down when he woke up, and add entries for each daytime sleep. Note when he was put to bed in the evening and what time he woke up at night. Keep a journal for four days. This is enough to understand how your child’s sleep is “arranged”, even if it seems that there is no system in this.

For example, Marcy was convinced that her eight-month-old Dylan's daytime naps were completely erratic: "He never goes to sleep at the same time, Tracey." But after four days of keeping a journal of observations, she noticed that although the time changes slightly, Dylan always falls asleep briefly between 9 and 10 am, sleeps another 40 minutes between 12:30 and 2:00 pm, and by five in the evening always turns out to be very cranky and irritated and passes out for about 20 minutes. This knowledge helped Marcy plan her day and, last but not least, understand the behavior and mood of her baby. Given Dylan's natural biorhythms, she streamlined him everyday life giving him the opportunity to fully rest. When he began to act up, she better understood what was the matter and whether he wanted to sleep, and reacted faster.

The Magic Road to Happiness

Remember Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz had to walk down the yellow brick road to find someone to help her get home? After a series of mistakes and disappointments, she finally found this helper - her own wisdom. In fact, I help parents go the same way. Whether or not your child gets healthy sleep is up to you, I explain. This needs to be learned, and the process of learning is initiated and carried out by the parents. Exactly! Babies need to be taught how to fall asleep properly. The path to healthy sleep consists of the following steps.

Create conditions for sleep. Since babies are in dire need of predictability, and repetition is the mother of learning, the same thing should be done and said before every nap and night. Then on your children's level understanding, the baby will figure out: “It’s clear, then I’m going to sleep now.” Do the same rituals in the same order. Say something like: "Well, my joy, it's time to bye-bye." When moving your baby into her room, stay calm and speak quietly. Don't forget to check if it's time for a diaper change so she's not in the way. Draw the curtains. At the same time, I say: “Goodbye, sun, see you when I sleep,” or, if it happens in the evening and it’s dark outside: “ Goodnight, month". I find it wrong to put the baby to sleep in the living room or in the kitchen. It's disrespectful to say the least. Would you yourself like your bed to be in the middle of the trading floor and people loitering around? Of course not! This is what the child does not want.

Catch signals. Just like adults, babies yawn when they get tired. Yawning is a natural response:
a tired body does not function optimally, and the amount of oxygen entering the brain due to the work of the lungs, heart and circulatory system is slightly reduced. Yawning allows you to "swallow" more oxygen (try to mimic a yawn and you will feel that the breath becomes deeper). I urge parents to respond as much as possible to the first yawn of the baby - well, at least the third. If you overlook the signs of drowsiness (see "Signs That It's Time for Baby to Sleep"), then certain types of children, such as mimosas, will quickly turn into tantrums.

Advice. To create the right mood for the child, draw his attention to the pleasant aspects of the rest. Sleep should not seem like a punishment or a struggle to him. If you say “time to sleep” or “you are tired, you need to rest” in such a tone as they say “get out of sight, ugly boy!”, then the child will grow up in the belief that to daytime sleep they sentence, as if to exile in Siberia, juvenile delinquents in order to deprive them of all pleasures.

The closer to the bedroom, the quieter the speech and the slower the movements. Adults like to read a book or watch TV before bed to take their minds off the day's worries. Babies need to relax too. Before going to bed, nightly bathing, and from the age of three months and massage will help the baby get ready for bed. Even before a day's rest, I always put on a soothing lullaby. For about five minutes, I sit with the baby in a rocking chair or on the floor so that she gets more tactile sensations. If you want, you can tell her a story or just whisper sweet words. However, the purpose of all this is not to put the child to sleep, but to calm him down. Therefore, I immediately stop pumping the baby as soon as I see a “look into the far distance” - the second phase of falling asleep - or I notice that her eyelids are drooping, telling me that she is moving on to the third phase. (As for bedtime stories, it’s never too early to start, but I usually start reading aloud at about six months old, when the child can already sit and listen intently.)

Advice. Do not invite guests at the time when you put the child to bed. This is not a performance. The child wants to participate in everything. He sees the guests and knows that they have come to visit him: “Wow, new faces! You can look and smile! So what, mommy and daddy think I'll fall asleep and miss it all? Well, I do not!"

First in bed, then in the land of dreams. Many people believe that the child can be put to bed only when he falls asleep. This is mistake. Put the baby to bed at the beginning of the third phase - no better way help her learn to fall asleep on her own. There is another reason: think about how the baby feels, falling asleep in your arms or in a swinging device, and waking up for some reason in the crib. Imagine that I wait until you are asleep and drag your bed out of the bedroom into the garden. You wake up and you can’t understand anything: “Where am I? How did I get here? Only, unlike you, a baby cannot conclude: “Oh, it’s clear that someone dragged me here while I was sleeping.” The child will be disoriented, even scared. Eventually, he will no longer feel safe in his own bed.

Putting the child to bed, I always say the same words: “Now I will put it to you, and you will sleep. You know how great it is and how wonderful you feel afterwards.” And I keep a close eye on the baby. Before lying down, she may become restless, especially when she shudders all over, which is characteristic of the third phase of falling asleep. There is no need to immediately pick up the child in your arms. Some children calm themselves down and fall asleep. But, if the baby is crying, gently and rhythmically pat her on the back - let her feel that she is not alone. However, remember: as soon as she stops fiddling and whining, you need to immediately stop stroking her. If you do this for longer than she really needs, she will begin to associate strokes and pats with falling asleep and will no longer be able to fall asleep without it.

Advice. I usually recommend laying the baby on his back. But you can also arrange it on its side, propping it up with two towels rolled into rollers or special wedge-shaped pillows that are sold in most pharmacies. If the child sleeps on its side, make sure that the side changes.

If the road to dreamland is bumpy, give your child a pacifier. I like to use a pacifier in the first three months of a newborn's life - the period when we form a daily routine. This saves the mother from having to replace the pacifier with her own presence. At the same time, I always warn that the dummy should not be used uncontrollably - it should not turn into a "crutch". With a reasonable approach of parents to this issue, the baby selflessly sucks for six to seven minutes, then the sucking movements slow down, and, in the end, the pacifier falls out of the mouth. The baby has already spent as much energy on sucking as it takes to relieve tension, and safely leaves for the realm of sleep. At this point, some well-intentioned adults come up and say, "Oh, poor thing, you've lost your papilla!" — and shove it back. Do not do that! If the baby needs a pacifier so that the sleep is not interrupted, he will let you know about it - he will begin to whimper and make gurgling sounds.

So, every time the PASS mode brings you to the first "C", follow the above rules - for most babies, this is enough for them to have positive associations with sleep. Let the baby be led into the land of dreams by the same familiar steps, because for him, predictability means safety. You will be surprised how quickly your baby will learn the skills necessary for a reasonably organized sleep. She will even wait for bedtime, because it is so pleasant, and after sleep you feel much more cheerful. Of course, problems cannot be avoided: for example, if a baby
overworked, if she is teething or has a fever (see section on Normal Sleep Problems). But these days are the exception to the rule.

Remember, in order to fall asleep for real, the child needs 20 minutes, and in no case try to speed things up. You will only break natural process falling asleep, and the baby gets nervous. For example, if a loud noise, a dog barking, or a slamming door—or whatever—disturbs her in the third phase, she will not fall asleep, but rather wake up, and everything will have to start all over again. The same thing happens to adults when they are about to fall asleep and suddenly a phone call breaks the silence. If a person is irritated or agitated, it can be difficult for him to doze off again. Babies are people too! They're just as nervous, the sleep cycle starts all over again, and you have to wait another 20 minutes for your child to fall into a deep sleep.

If you missed the "window"

If the baby is still very young and you have not had time to thoroughly study his crying and body language, it is more than likely that you will not always be able to respond to his first, second or third yawn. If you have an "angel" or "textbook", it's okay - these kids need a little attention and affection to quickly bounce back. But with other types of babies, especially mimosas, it's helpful to have a little trick or two in the stash in case you miss phase one because the baby is about to overwork. Yes, and sudden noise or other interference at any time can disrupt the natural process of falling asleep, and if the baby is very worried, he will need your help.

First of all, I will tell you what you should not do in any case: do not rock. Do not walk around the room with your child, do not shake him
too energetic. Remember, he's already overexcited. He cries because he has had enough stimuli and crying helps to distract from sounds and from light. You don't need to whip up the activity of his nervous system any more. Moreover, it is with this that the formation of bad habits usually begins. Mom or dad carry the child in their arms or rock to sleep to help them fall asleep. When his weight exceeds 6.5 kg, they try to get him to fall asleep without these "crutches". Of course, the child protests, as if to say, “No, dear ones, we don't do that. You always rock me."

If you do not want to fall into this vicious cycle, do the following to help your child calm down and disconnect from external stimuli.

Swaddling. After long months in the fetal position, the newborn is not accustomed to open space. In addition, he does not yet know that his arms and legs are part of himself. An overworked infant must be given a motionless position, because he is terribly frightened at the sight of randomly moving limbs - it seems to him that someone else is plotting something against him. In addition, these impressions additionally load the already overexcited nervous system. Swaddling is one of the oldest techniques to help a newborn calm down. It may seem old-fashioned, but modern scientific research confirms its effectiveness. To properly swaddle your baby, fold a square swaddle diagonally. Lay the child on the resulting triangle so that the fold is approximately at the level of his neck. Place one arm of the child on his chest at an angle of 45? and tightly wrap the body with the appropriate corner of the diaper. Repeat on the other side. I recommend swaddling during the first six weeks of life. After the seventh week, when the baby makes the first attempts to put his hands in his mouth, you need to give him such an opportunity. Bend his arms at the elbows and leave the palms unwrapped, closer to his face.

Soothing touch. Let the baby know that you are there and always ready to help him. Rhythmically pat him on the back, imitating heart beats. You can also repeat "shh... shh... shh..." - this will remind the baby of the sounds that he heard in the womb. In a low, soothing voice, whisper in his ear, "It's okay" or "You'll just sleep." For some time after you put the baby in the crib, continue to do what you did while holding him in your arms - clap, whisper. The transition from your hands to your own bed will become less abrupt.

Eliminate visual stimuli. Visual stimuli - light, moving objects - are painful for an overworked baby, especially for a mimosa. So we shade the room before we put the baby in the crib, but for some babies this is not enough. If your child is already lying down, place your hand over their eyes—do not place them over their eyes—to shield them from visual stimuli. If you are still holding it, stand motionless in semi-darkness, and with a very overexcited child, in a completely dark room.

Don't go after the child. It is very difficult for parents to cope with an overworked baby. Endless patience and determination are needed, especially if bad sleep behavior has already become a habit. The child whimpers, the parents continue to stroke him, the crying becomes louder. Overwhelmed with stimuli, the infant cries in increasing amounts until it reaches a deafening cry - very clear: "I have no more strength!" Then he takes a breath, and everything starts anew. Usually, the increase in crying occurs three times, until, finally, the child calms down. But already on the second run, many parents lose their nerves, and in desperation they return to the usual “medicine”, whether it is motion sickness, breast offering or a terrible shaking chair.

This is where the problem lies. As long as you keep interfering, the baby needs your help to get to sleep. It doesn’t take a lot of time for a baby to form a dependence on a “crutch” - just a few times is enough, because he still has a very short memory. Wrong start - and every day when you repeat your mistake, the unwanted behavior of the baby will be reinforced. I am often asked for help when the weight of a child reaches 6-7 kg and it becomes burdensome to shake him in your arms. The most serious problems arise when the child is one and a half to two months old. I always tell parents, “You have to understand what's going on and take responsibility for the child's bad habits because you created them. And then the most difficult thing will come: be determined and persistently instill in the baby new, correct behavioral skills. (For more on forming bad habits, see Chapter 9.)

Peaceful sleep until morning

A chapter on baby sleep would be incomplete without talking about when babies stop waking up in the middle of the night.

Let me first remind you that your baby's "day" is 24 hours. She does not distinguish between day and night and has no idea what it means to "sleep until morning without waking up." This is your desire (and need). Sleeping through the night is not an innate property, but an acquired skill. You must teach her to do this and give her an idea of ​​the difference between day and night. To this end, I give parents the following reminder tips.

Be guided by the principle "how much has gone, so much has arrived." For example, if in the morning he was very capricious, and instead of the next feeding, he fills up an extra half an hour, you leave him alone, knowing that he needs this rest (if he lived on a tight schedule, you would wake him up). But don't forget common sense. Do not let your baby sleep more than one feeding cycle during the day, i.e. more than three hours, otherwise he will not sleep at night. I guarantee that no baby who sleeps six hours during the day without a break will sleep more than three hours at night. And if your child does this, you can be sure that he has confused day and night. The only way to “call him to order” is to wake him up, and his nighttime sleep will arrive exactly as many hours as the daytime has gone.

"Fill tank full." It sounds rude, but in order for a baby to sleep through the night, he must have a full stomach. Therefore, from the age of six weeks, I recommend the following two doses: paired feedings - every two hours in anticipation of a night's sleep - and "sleepy" feedings just before you yourself go to bed. For example, you give your baby a breast (or a bottle) at 18:00 and at 20:00 and arrange a "sleepy" feeding at 22:30 or at 23:00. During this last feeding, the baby does not wake up, so its name should be taken literally. In other words, you carefully take the baby in your arms, lightly touch her lower lip with a nipple or nipple, and let her saturate, and your job is to try not to wake her up. When she finishes sucking, go without spitting up. During "sleepy" feedings, babies are so relaxed that they do not swallow air. Keep silent. Do not change the diaper unless it is wet or soiled. With these two tricks, most kids can skip nighttime feedings, as long as they've consumed enough calories for five to six hours.

Advice."Sleepy" feeding of an artificial person can be entrusted to dad. At this time, most men are already at home, and they usually like such an assignment.

Use a blank. If the pacifier doesn't turn into a crutch, it's a great help to help you skip nighttime feedings. A child weighing 4.5 kg or more who consumes at least 700-850 g of formula milk or has six to eight breastfeeding during the day (four to five in the daytime and two to three paired at bedtime), does not need another feeding in the middle of the night so as not to starve to death. If he wakes up anyway, then it's all about the sucking reflex. This is where a dummy comes in handy if you use it correctly. Let's say your baby usually needs 20 minutes of nighttime feeding. If he wakes up crying, requires a breast or a bottle and is content with five minutes, having sucked out some drops, it is better to give him a pacifier.

On the first night, he will most likely suck her for those 20 minutes until he falls into a deep sleep. The next night, perhaps, it will cost 10 minutes, and on the third, he will not wake up at all at the usual time of night feeding, but only tinker in his sleep. If he does wake up, give him a pacifier. In other words, instead of a bottle or breast, a pacifier is quite suitable. Gradually, the baby will completely stop waking up for this.

That was the case with Cody, Juliana's son. Cody weighed 6.8 kg, and Juliana, after careful observation, realized that the boy wakes up at 3:00 out of habit. Cody sucked from the bottle for about 10 minutes and immediately fell asleep. Juliana asked me to visit, first of all, to make sure that her conclusion was correct (however, from one description of her, I realized that she was right). Besides, she wanted Cody to unlearn waking up at this time. I spent three nights at their house. The first night I took Cody out of the crib and gave him a pacifier instead of a bottle, which he sucked for 10 minutes, as he used to suck on a bottle. The next night I left him in his crib, gave him a pacifier, and this time he sucked for only three minutes. On the third night, as expected, Cody whimpered a little at 3:15 but didn't wake up. That's all! From that moment he slept peacefully until six or seven in the morning.

Don't run up to the child. The sleep of an infant is intermittent, so it is unwise to respond to any sound. I often convince parents to get rid of the damned "baby monitors" that amplify any sigh or squeak of the baby to their ears. These gizmos turn parents into freaky alarmists! I never tire of repeating: you need to understand the difference between a response and a rescue operation. If the parents are responsive to the child's needs, the child will grow up confident and not afraid to explore the world. But if his parents continuously "rescue" him, then he is imbued with doubts about his abilities. He does not develop the character traits and skills necessary to explore the world and feel calm and comfortable in it.

Publication date 23.09.2014
Article author: Tracey Hogg