My position on children's sleep is simple: all children are different (character, nervous system), everyone’s living conditions are different, everyone’s material condition is different. Plus, the features of age, the situation in the family, and so on.

The main thing is that the ENTIRE family should be happy. So that everyone gets enough sleep (and not "let's endure for 3 years, but why then give birth to children." Children are happiness every day, and not an attempt to survive this day. Motherhood is often work, and you you know all this very well :)
It is logical to assume that it is not entirely correct to plan the type of sleep SS or your own crib (if you really have a choice according to your circumstances) before birth. Mothers with 2 or more children will understand me - they are so different :) A perfectly sleeping independent sister may have a brother who needs only SS. And vice versa.

However, today I would like to draw your attention to method self-falling asleep.
As a conscious choice of parents. I'll try to answer the question: "Why didn't we succeed, we tried according to the method." They "try" usually from stress, lack of sleep, understanding of the "limit", anger at the "horse with boobs in their mouth", laying down for 2-3 hours. They try abruptly and inconsistently.

How I would like to write a message that will be seen immediately by EVERYONE who might need it :)

Any accustoming to self-falling asleep is a WORK.

Whether it's the Ferber, Esteville, Morgenot Methods (get in and out), soft Tracey Hogg (stand side by side, cope together), "tearless" E. Pantley, G. Ezzo and R. Bookman with their "Silent Night" and sleep under the guidance of parents , Weissbluth and his " healthy sleep"- all this is not Magic wand. This is a system. Even Serza, supporters of motion sickness and SS, admit that not all children need SS (until the 4th child, they did not know that for some babies it is just a necessity until a certain age). Serzes do not sleep with their 8 children in one bed - sooner or later they transfer the masks to their own bed, and also offer a SYSTEM! (gradually move the bed away, etc.).

That is why people have written books that are based on research in the field of children's sleep. That is why the description of the method itself is 5 pages in detail, and 125 pages in each book are the features of children's sleep by age, a description of the need for a regimen and ritual, evidence of the IMPORTANCE of a full-fledged healthy sleep.

The basics of this system, work is:

MOM - confident and NOT nervous (tired)
PAPA (if needed) - shares the conviction, understands what is happening, helps, supports.
A child who is caressed during the day is healthy.

0. Absolutely healthy child and features of his age (no problems with teeth, stomach, everything in the family is unchanged, do not plan a flight, do not overexcite, etc.)
1. Lots of love in the afternoon
2. Control on the daily rate of sleep (so as not to accumulate fatigue)
3. Sleep mode (going to bed at the same time), daily routine (early is best)
4. Eating mode
5. Satiety before bed
6. Ritual (daily routine before going to bed with calm communication, a song repeating a familiar fairy tale - everyone has their own)
7. Watch for signs of fatigue
8. Track the baby's biological clock (when he wants to sleep, not when you want to put him to bed)
9. Mom's confidence and the consent of the whole family to act according to the plan. It is very important. It is important to understand that most babies with whom mom spends all day (and mom knows they get all the petting they need during the day) are quite able to sleep on their own, without mom help, most of the night (or all night after a year usually). you can give dad, for example.
Perhaps someone is now smiling with indignation. But, you know, a huge number of mothers, so affectionate and gentle with children, cease to give affection to men at all (and they, as you know, are also children, albeit the most understanding). Often there are examples of vivid child-centrism in the family (at best , dads sleep in separate rooms (and mothers with children), in the worst case, a man simply leaves the family (due to the lack of a normal SS, a man and a woman including) I think you also know similar examples.
10. Spread food and sleep in time. In American literature, this is called removing associations.
Build mode: food-play-sleep (not food-sleep-play)
11. When 10 points work, make a plan: clear and for all days according to one of the methods, prepare, think over all the options.
12. Be flexible: if you see that this option does not suit you, modify it for your child, try other options.

As a result of this work (2 weeks - 1 month), we (having a clear plan) have every chance for the method to work.
Ideally:
- the baby knows his daily routine, knows what follows (mode)
- knows when the ritual begins, I will sleep soon (ritual)
- knows that sleeping is NOT eating, this is exactly sleeping (food-play (reading, songs)-sleep)
- he knows full (we have a good dinner)
- knows that his mother understands him and helps him (we put him down according to the signs of falling asleep)
etc

As a result, it remains just to replace the METHOD of howling: from motion sickness to your own bed, for example.
There will be a protest

But. Everything else is familiar to the baby, it’s just that mom changes the rules for falling asleep, mom knows, mom doesn’t panic - confidence is transferred to the baby, which means it’s necessary.

Under such conditions and the system, the methods work in 3, 5, 7, max 9 days.

Then the kids fall asleep on their own in 3-5 minutes, sleep all night without waking up (they fall asleep themselves), and when they don’t want to they suddenly sleep, lie in the crib, and then fall asleep.

Parents have their own time and privacy!
happy end

ps. Let me remind you that I considered the system of self-falling asleep as an option initially chosen by the parents.
I note that there are kids who are only suitable for SS, it would be a gross mistake for parents not to notice this.

pps. there are children who sleep well without any methods, there are those who sleep well with breastfeeding and on SS, but this article is not about them.

Last but not least, I run a community that includes a huge focus on SNS, its usefulness, features, sleep research, books on baby sleep, and how to fall asleep.
if someone needs help or support in this important matter - if possible, ready to help
I won’t give a link, some people know it, who really needs it, they will find it by profile :)

good evening and