Today, experts do not have any single version and theory that can give a comprehensive and indisputable idea of ​​​​how the child's mental development occurs.

Child psychology- this is a section that studies the spiritual and mental development of children, the laws of ongoing processes, studying instinctive and voluntary actions and developmental features, starting from the birth of a child and up to the onset of maturity at 12-14 years old.

Psychologists divide childhood into periods, based on periodization mental development children is the concept of leading activity, characterized by three main features:

Firstly, it must necessarily be meaningful, carry semantic load for a child, for example, previously incomprehensible and meaningless things acquire a certain meaning for a three-year-old child only in the context of play. Therefore, play is a leading activity and a means of meaning formation.

Secondly, basic relationships with peers and adults are formed in the context of this activity.

AND, third, in connection with the development of this leading activity, the main neoplasms of the age appear and develop, the range of abilities that allow this activity to be implemented, for example, speech or other skills.

The leading activity is of decisive importance at each specific stage of the child's mental development, while other types of activity do not disappear. They may become irrelevant.

Stable periods and crises

Each child develops unevenly, passing through relatively calm, stable periods, followed by critical, crisis ones. During periods of stability, the child accumulates quantitative changes. This happens slowly and is not very noticeable to others.

Critical periods or crises in the psychological development of children have been discovered empirically, moreover, in a random order. First, the crisis of seven years was discovered, then three, then 13 years, and only then the first year and the crisis of birth.

During crises, the child short term is rapidly changing, the main features of his personality are changing. These changes in child psychology can be called revolutionary, they are so fast-paced and significant in terms of the meaning and significance of the changes that are taking place. Critical periods are characterized by the following features:

• age crises in children occur imperceptibly and it is very difficult to determine the moments of their onset and end. The boundaries between the periods are indistinct, in the middle of the crisis there is a sharp aggravation;
• during a crisis, a child is difficult to educate, often conflicts with others, attentive parents feel his experience, despite the fact that at this time he is obstinate and uncompromising. Performance at school, working capacity falls and, conversely, fatigue increases;
• outwardly apparent negative nature of the development of the crisis, destructive work is taking place.

The child does not acquire, but only loses from what he acquired before. At this time, adults should understand that the emergence of a new development almost always means the death of the old. Looking attentively at the emotional state of the child, one can observe constructive developmental processes even in critical periods.

The sequence of any period is determined by the alternation of critical and stable periods.
The interaction of the child with the surrounding social environment is the source of his development. Everything that a child learns is given to him by the people around him. At the same time, in child psychology, it is necessary that learning proceed ahead of schedule.

Age features of children

At every age of the child there are characteristics which cannot be ignored.

Neonatal crisis (0-2 months)

This is the first crisis in a child's life, the symptoms of a crisis in a child are weight loss in the first days of life. At this age, the child is the most social being, he is not able to satisfy his needs and is completely dependent and, at the same time, deprived of the means of communication, or rather, does not know how to communicate. His life of the beginning becomes individual, separate from the mother's organism. As the child adapts to others, a neoplasm appears in the form of a revitalization complex, which includes the following reactions: motor excitation at the sight of familiar adults approaching; using crying to draw attention to yourself, i.e. attempts to communicate; smiles, enthusiastic "cooing" with the mother.

The revitalization complex serves as a kind of boundary of the critical period of the newborn. The term of its appearance serves as the main indicator of the normality of the mental development of the child and appears earlier in those children whose mothers not only satisfy the needs of the child, but also communicate with him, talk, play.

Infant age (2 months - 1 year)

At this age, the leading type of activity is direct emotional communication with adults.

The development of children in the first year of life lays the foundation for their further formation as a person.

Dependence on them is still comprehensive, all cognitive processes are realized in relations with the mother.

By the first year of life, the child pronounces the first words, i.e. the structure of speech action is born. Arbitrary actions with objects of the surrounding world are mastered.

Up to a year the child's speech - passive. He learned to understand intonation, often repeated turns, but he himself still does not know how to speak. In child psychology, it is during this period that all the foundations of speech skills are laid, children themselves try to establish contacts with adults with the help of crying, cooing, babble, gestures, and the first words.

After a year active speech is formed. By the age of 1, the vocabulary of a baby reaches 30, almost all of them have the nature of actions, verbs: give, take, drink, eat, sleep, etc.

At this time, adults should speak to children clearly and distinctly in order to convey skills correct speech. The process of language acquisition is more successful if parents show and name objects, tell fairy tales.

The subject activity of the child is connected with the development of movements.

In the sequence of development of movements there is a general pattern:

• moving eye, the child learns to focus on the subject;
• expressive movements - a complex of revival;
• moving in space - the child consistently learns to roll over, raise his head, sit down. Each movement opens up new boundaries of space for the child.
• crawling - this stage is skipped by some children;
• grasping, by 6 months this movement from random seizures turns into a purposeful one;
• object manipulation;
• pointing gesture, quite meaningful way to express desire.

As soon as a child begins to walk, the boundaries of the world accessible to him are rapidly expanding. The child learns from adults and gradually begins to master human actions: the purpose of the object, the methods of action with this object, the technique for performing these actions. Toys are of great importance in the assimilation of these actions.

At this age, mental development is laid, a sense of attachment is formed.

Crises in the psychological development of children of one year are associated with a contradiction between the biological system and the verbal situation. The child does not know how to control his behavior, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, gloom, resentment, tearfulness begin to appear. However, the crisis is not considered acute.

Early childhood (1-3 years)

At this age, the lines of mental development of boys and girls are separated. Children have a more complete self-identification, an understanding of gender. Self-consciousness arises, claims for recognition from adults develop, a desire to earn praise, a positive assessment.

going on further development speech, by the age of three lexicon reaches 1000 words.

Further mental development occurs, the first fears appear, which can be exacerbated by the irritability of parents, anger and can contribute to the child's feeling of rejection. Overprotection by adults does not help either. A more effective way is when adults teach a child how to handle an object, causing fear with illustrative examples.

At this age, the basic need is tactile contact, the child masters the sensations.

Crisis of three years

The crisis is acute, the symptoms of a crisis in a child: negativism to the proposals of adults, stubbornness, impersonal obstinacy, self-will, protest-rebellion against others, despotism. A symptom of depreciation, manifested in the fact that the child begins to call his parents names, tease, swear.

The meaning of the crisis is that the child is trying to learn how to make a choice, ceases to need the full custody of his parents. The sluggish current crisis speaks of a delay in the development of the will.

It is necessary to define for the growing child some area of ​​activity where he could act independently, for example, in the game you can try out your independence.

Preschool childhood (3-7 years old)

At this age, the child in the game moves from simple manipulation of objects to story game- a doctor, a salesman, an astronaut. Child psychology notes that at this stage, role identification, a division of roles, begins to appear. Closer to 6-7 years, games by the rules appear. Games have great importance in the mental and emotional development of the child, help to cope with fears, teach to take a leading role, form the character of the child and his attitude to reality.

Neoplasms preschool age are complexes of readiness for learning at school:

• personal readiness;
• communicative readiness means that the child is able to interact with others according to the norms and rules;
• cognitive readiness implies the level of development of cognitive processes: attention, imagination, thinking;
• technological equipment - the minimum of knowledge and skills that allows you to study at school;
• the level of emotional development, the ability to manage situational emotions and feelings.

Crisis 7 years

The crisis of seven years resembles the crisis of one year, the child begins to make demands and claims for attention to his person, his behavior can become demonstrative, slightly pretentious or even caricatured. He does not yet know how to control his feelings well. The most important thing that parents can show is respect for the child. He should be encouraged for independence, showing initiative, and vice versa, not punishing too severely for failures, because. this can lead to the fact that a lack of initiative and irresponsible personality will grow up.

Junior school age (7-13 years old)

At this age, the main activity of the child is education, moreover, education in general and schooling may not coincide. To make the process more successful, learning should be akin to a game. Child psychology considers this period of development as the most important.

The main neoplasms at this age:

• intellectual reflection - there is an ability to memorize information, systematize it, store in memory, retrieve and apply at the right time;
• personal reflection , the number of factors affecting self-esteem is expanding, an idea of ​​\u200b\u200boneself is formed. The warmer the relationship with parents, the higher self-esteem.

In mental development, a period of concretized mental operations begins. Egocentrism gradually decreases, the ability to focus on several signs at once, the ability to compare them, to track changes appears.

The development and behavior of the child is influenced by relationships in the family, the style of behavior of adults. With authoritarian behavior, children develop less successfully than with democratic, friendly communication.

The training of communication with peers, the ability to adapt, and hence, to collective cooperation, continues. The game is still necessary, it begins to take on personal motives: prejudice, leadership - submission, justice - injustice, devotion - betrayal. A social component appears in games, children like to come up with secret communities, passwords, ciphers, certain rituals. The rules of the game and the distribution of roles help to learn the rules and norms of the adult world.

Emotional development is more dependent on experiences gained outside the home. fictional fears early childhood are replaced by specific ones: fear of injections, natural phenomena, anxiety about the nature of relationships with peers, etc. Sometimes there is a reluctance to go to school, and headache, vomiting, abdominal cramps may appear. Do not take this as a simulation, perhaps it is a fear of some kind of conflict situation with teachers or peers. You should have a friendly talk with the child, find out the reason for the reluctance to go to school, try to resolve the situation and motivate the child for good luck and successful development. Lack of democratic communication in the family can contribute to the development of school age.

Crisis 13 years

In child psychology, age crises in children of thirteen years old are crises social development. It is very reminiscent of the crisis of 3 years: "I myself!". The contradiction between the personal I and the outside world. It is characterized by a drop in working capacity and school performance, disharmony in the internal personality structure and is one of the acute crises.

Symptoms of a crisis in a child during this period:

• negativism , the child is hostile to the whole world, aggressive, prone to conflicts and at the same time to self-isolation and loneliness, is dissatisfied with everything. Boys are more prone to negativism than girls;
• drop in productivity , ability and interest in learning, slowing down creative processes, moreover, even in those areas in which the child is gifted and previously showed great interest. All assigned work is done mechanically.

The crisis of this age is associated mainly with the transition to a new stage intellectual development- the transition from visualization to deduction and understanding. Concrete thinking is replaced by logical thinking. This is clearly manifested in the constant demand for evidence and criticism.

A teenager develops an interest in the abstract - music, philosophical questions, etc. The world begins to be divided into objective reality and inner personal experiences. The foundations of the worldview and personality of a teenager are intensively laid.

Adolescence (13-16 years old)

During this period, there is a rapid growth, maturation, the development of secondary sexual characteristics. The phase of biological maturation coincides with the phase of development of new interests and disappointment with old habits and interests.

At the same time, skills and established behavioral mechanisms do not change. It arises, especially in boys, acute sexual interests, as they say, they begin to "naughty". The process of painful parting with childhood begins.

The leading activity during this period is intimate and personal communication with peers. There is a weakening of ties with the family.

Main neoplasms:

• the concept is being formed "We" - there is a division into communities "us - foes". In adolescence, the division of territories, spheres of living space begins.
• formation of reference groups. At the beginning of formation, these are same-sex groups, over time they become mixed, then the company is divided into pairs and consists of interconnected pairs. The opinions and values ​​of the group, almost always oppositional or even hostile to the adult world, become dominant for the teenager. The influence of adults is difficult due to the closeness of the groups. Each member of the group is not critical of the general opinion or the opinion of the leader, dissent is excluded. Expulsion from the group equates to complete collapse.
• emotional development is manifested by a sense of adulthood. In a sense, it is still false, biased. In fact, this is only a trend towards adulthood. Appears in:
  • emancipation - the demand for independence.
  • a new attitude to learning - the desire for greater self-education, moreover, complete indifference to school grades. Often there is a discrepancy between the intelligence of a teenager and the grades in the diary.
  • the emergence of romantic relationships with members of the opposite sex.
  • change in appearance and manner of dressing.

Emotionally, a teenager experiences great difficulties and worries, feels unhappy. Typical teenage phobias appear: shyness, dissatisfaction with one's appearance, anxiety.

The games of the child were transformed into the fantasy of a teenager and became more creative. This is expressed in writing poems or songs, keeping diaries. The fantasies of children are turned inside themselves, into the intimate sphere, and are hidden from others.

An urgent need at this age is understanding.

Parental mistakes in raising teenagers are emotional rejection (indifference to the inner world of the child), emotional indulgence (the child is considered exceptional, protected from the outside world), authoritarian control (manifested in numerous prohibitions and excessive severity). The crisis of adolescence is further aggravated by condoning non-intervention (lack or weakening of control, when the child is left to himself and is completely independent in all decisions).

It differs from all stages of the development of the child, all anomalies of personal development that originated and developed earlier are manifested, and are expressed in behavioral (more often in boys) and emotional (in girls) disorders. Most children resolve the disorder on their own, but some require the help of a psychologist.

Raising children requires great strength, patience and mental balance of adults. At the same time, this is the only opportunity to express your wisdom and the depth of love for your child. When raising our children, we must remember that we have a personality in front of us, and it grows up the way we raised it. In all matters, try to take the position of the child, then it will be easier to understand him.

Not! Do not want! I won't! I'm not giving it! Get away! You are bad (bad)! I do not love you! I don't need you (I don't need you)! Have you heard similar phrases from your children? Congratulations!!! Your child has an age crisis of 1, 3, 7, 14 or 18 years.

You ask why congratulations? And because it means right and normal development Your child. According to psychologists, a child who has not gone through a real crisis at the right time cannot have a full-fledged further development.

However, many parents are afraid of these periods and often resort to drastic measures to pacify the little "revolutionary". Sometimes the intensity of emotions reaches such an extent that adults can shout at him and even slap him. But such influences will at least not bring any benefit, and at most they will aggravate the situation more (this depends on the mental properties of the child himself and the internal microclimate in the family). And most of the parents will later regret and suffer because of their unexpected reaction, reproach themselves for what bad educators they are.

It is important to remember here that the irritation and anger that parents experience is a normal reaction in this case, because in fact these crises are not only children's, but at the same time family crises, including. And negative emotions can be experienced by both children and adults. This is fine! You just need to understand it, accept it and respond correctly to the current situation.

Crises of development accompany a person all his life: the crisis of a newborn, 14, 17, 30 years, etc. A crisis is a temporary phenomenon. With its correct understanding, we can either completely rid ourselves of the manifestations of the crisis, or reduce them to a minimum. However, if this period is not passed by the child fully and profitably, then all unresolved problems that arose in the past critical period will manifest themselves with renewed vigor in the next age crisis and, coupled with new problems of the next age, will give an even greater emotional and psychological explosion than he could be.

Why does it happen that your beloved, sweet and obedient baby today suddenly turned into a capricious and nervous pest? Let's take a closer look at the main crises in children by year.

neonatal crisis

At birth, a child moves from an environment fully adapted to him into a world to which he must adapt himself. This becomes a lot of stress for the baby. At this time, his attitude and trust in outside world. For the successful passage of this critical period with the child, only permanent person. Mom doesn't have to be here, but someone has to be there all the time. Feed, bathe, change clothes, come to cry, pick up. If there is no such adult nearby and the needs for contact and closeness with him are not satisfied, then this may affect the behavior of the child in the future, and then on the adult. So, for example, very fast sensory and emotional overload and fatigue are possible in the future.

During this period, there is a so-called symbiosis, when mother and child feel and understand each other at deep non-verbal levels. Accordingly, any feelings and emotions of the mother are projected onto the child. So, for example, if the mother is calm, then the child is calm, and if the mother is worried and nervous, then the child reacts to this with very restless behavior. The child at this time is very "comfortable" and understandable. Fed - full, rocked - sleeps. Of course, mothers get used to the fact that the child is completely dependent on her and, out of habit, continue to think and do everything for the child. But as the child grows and matures, such a connection ceases to satisfy him, and when, finally, he learns to sit and then walk, a new crisis of 1 year begins.

Crisis 1 year

At this time, the child realizes, understands and perceives the world in a new way. If earlier he perceived himself and his mother as a whole, now their emotional and psychological separation from each other begins. In many situations, the child meets a different mother's reaction to events than his own. So his happiness from what amazing traces remain from the felt-tip pen on the wallpaper or the joy from the fascinating process of smearing porridge on his hands and table may not always coincide with his mother's emotions.

Around the age of 1 year, the baby begins to walk. He has more freedom, there is an acute research need. Parents are used to the fact that the child was in dire need of them, all the time he was in his arms. Children protest against the restriction of freedom (do not touch, sit, do not walk, etc.), and therefore cognitive activity.

During this period, such personal values ​​as self-esteem, self-respect, trust in oneself and one's body, and the development of movement accuracy are laid and worked out. The child must be given as much freedom of action as possible, while ensuring maximum safety for the baby in advance. Children of this period react sharply to prohibitions and restrictions, but at the same time they are very easily distracted. Therefore, at this age right baby to distract with something bright and interesting than to limit his actions with a ban and get another whim and rebellion.

Read more about the crisis of 1 year in a child.

Crisis 3 years (comes from 1.5 to 3 years)

Your baby is now beginning to separate himself and the world. This is the so-called “I myself” period, when the child seeks and tries to understand his “I”, forms his internal positions. This is a period of awareness of who I am for others. The child, who used to feel like the center of the entire universe, suddenly discovers that he is just one of the many universes surrounding him.

During this period, there is a development of such personal values ​​as a sense of internal order, the ability to make decisions in one's life, self-confidence, self-sufficiency. For little man Now it is very important to realize any independent action as your own choice without the use of persuasion by adults, the method of carrots and sticks. The best solution would be to give the child the opportunity to do what he sees fit, giving him a choice without a choice. Those. we offer him a choice of 2-3 options for actions that are beneficial and correct for us in advance, but at the same time he feels his independence.

Be sure at this age we set the framework for children and the boundaries of their behavior. If this is not done, then they will not know where to stop, and this is already fraught with big problems in adolescence. Such teenagers will have difficulty in building boundaries when communicating with other people, become dependent on the opinion of more authoritative comrades.

Read more about the crisis of 3 years in a child.

Crisis 7 years (comes from 6 to 8 years)

At this time, the child receives a new social status - a schoolboy. And with it come new responsibilities and rights. The question arises as to what to do with the new freedom and responsibility. Also, the child has his own opinion on everything. And here respect for him parents is very important! Now the child needs support in everything. Returning home, the student must be sure that here he can always find support in all the difficulties of life, new communication with peers and adults, in learning problems.

Your yesterday's baby has already matured. And, despite the fact that sometimes he is still childishly impulsive and impatient, his reasoning and actions become more logical, acquire a semantic basis. He begins to distinguish and separate his own feelings and emotions, learns self-control.

During this period, not only new educational, but also household duties, which only he and no one else is engaged in, should appear. He can be offered a choice of washing dishes, preparing everything for cleaning, caring for a pet, etc. At the same time, the child must decide for himself when and what he will do, but be aware that there are consequences for not fulfilling his duties. These responsibilities are different for each child depending on the desires and preferences. It is impossible in any case to impose on him the execution of any deeds without his consent and desire. It is necessary to exclusively agree with him about this. The child becomes equal with us. Now he is one of the full members of the family, and not a subordinate.

Read more about the crisis of 7 years

Puberty crisis (comes from 11 to 15 years old)

Problems of this age come in connection with physiological changes. During this period, we observe the so-called "growing pains". The body is growing and changing. A teenager must get used to a new one, accept himself and learn to live with a changed body. Our adult child feels great overload nervous system. From this arises psychological instability, it is easy to piss him off. On the one hand, he is very stormy, restless, active, but at the same time he is subject to great physical fatigue and lethargy. There is a hormonal explosion. A teenager feels new feelings, which he is not yet able to cope with. As a result, we see emotional instability, a quick change in mood. A storm of feelings and emotions captures a teenager. It seems to him that no one understands him, everyone demands something from him and is negatively disposed towards him. The child observes and feels the world in new saturated colors and manifestations, but he still does not understand what to do with all this and how to behave in this new world correctly.

What should we do during this period? Since this is "growing pains", nothing needs to be done about it. We are calmly waiting for our dear little man to “get sick”. We treat it during this period carefully, carefully, carefully, with great attention.

Also, this period is associated for the child with the transition from childhood to adulthood. He is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. He rushes between these poles and cannot fully accept one of these roles. On the one hand, he is still a child, his interest in games and entertainment has not faded away, he does not want to part with the world of childhood. On the other hand, he already considers himself an adult, he is attracted by this seeming freedom of the adult world, but at the same time he understands that there are many responsibilities that he still does not want to take on.

And what to do with it? Same thing - nothing. We are waiting for this period of uncertainty to end and our adult man will reach a full understanding and acceptance of his adulthood. We accept him as he is, give maximum support and participation, if he asks for it.

Crisis 17 years (comes from 15 to 18 years)

This time is associated with the period of the beginning of social maturity, the period of stabilization of the processes of previous development. Our former child finally reaches the adult stage. The crisis of 17 years coincides with the end of school, when a young man (girl) faces the question of further life path, choice of profession, subsequent training, work, for boys - service in the army. All psychological problems during this period are associated with adaptation to new conditions of life, the search for one's place in it.

A great role and help can now be provided to a person by the support of the family, people close to him. More than ever, your child now needs a sense of self-confidence, a sense of their competence.

If your child does not receive the help and support he needs, then his fear and insecurity can give rise to neurotic reactions, which in turn will lead to somatic problems, and then to physical illnesses. Be attentive to your adult!

The crisis of age is a period in which the amount of previously acquired knowledge and experience turns into quality. future life. And, if an adult is often left alone with his own problems transitional age, then the child can and should be helped to overcome this difficult period by his closest and dearest person who educates him.

There is no need to be afraid of such periods. A little patience and due attention to the child, and you will pass this critical age point without much shock.

The mental development of a preschooler occurs unevenly, spasmodically. Between jumps in the child's psyche there is a moment called a crisis. In what way does it manifest itself?

Although in our post-Soviet space the word "crisis" is painted in negative tones, the crisis of mental development should not be associated with something totally bad. In this situation, it has a completely different character - this is not a crisis of the disease, after which recovery occurs, this crisis has its original meaning - restructuring, a global qualitative change.

What characterizes the child's behavior in the pre-critical time or in the critical time itself? The child begins to behave unpredictably from the point of view of the parents: he was more or less calm, obedient, manageable, it was clear how to cope with his characteristics, how to negotiate with him, how to encourage him. And at some point, abruptly (people may think that a mental trauma has occurred with the child), overnight all methods of education or their b about Most of them stop working: rewards and punishments don't work; what the child used to react to does not work. Behavior changed to incomprehensible. This is what makes the situation quite difficult.

A sign of the crisis is the cessation of the impact of proven educational measures. The second sign is an increase in scandals, quarrels, emotional outbursts, if the child is an extrovert, or an increase in immersed, complex states, if the child is an introvert. Basically, preschoolers behave like extroverts.

What are the crises of child mental development

The most famous:

- The first crisis is actively singled out only here in Russia, it is not singled out in foreign psychology. This crisis of the year, or rather, the time when the child began to walk and it had a very strong influence on him - he ceased to be a baby, ceased to be obedient.

- The next crisis used to be called crisis of three years or "I myself". Now the crisis of three years does not exist. Over the past fifty years, he has looked younger by a year. The crisis "I myself" is now a crisis of 2-2.5 years, when children begin to speak, immaturely reject the help of adults, not understanding why it is needed.

How older child, especially the “floating” moment of the onset of the crisis.

- At the age of 5.5, one of the developmental microcrises occurs, associated with the maturation of the main structures of the cerebral cortex that control emotions. This crisis of transition to senior preschool age.

From this point on, the child can be required to have more control over their emotional behavior. At this age, processes begin with gender awareness, building the scenario forward, there is an abrupt complication inner peace, arises maximum amount fears. The child makes serious generalizations about the world, life, the field of action of his fantasies greatly expands.

- Next crisis - 7 years. This is a crisis of social origin, this is the period of the beginning of schooling. If a child went to school at 6 years old, then he will have a crisis at 6 years old. This is the moment when the child ceases to focus only on the norms of the family. The essence of the seven-year crisis is the restructuring of the dominant authority, the emergence of the authority of the school teacher and the associated social position.

– The next crisis – teenage. It used to be believed that all adventures end in adolescence, but, in fact, they only begin, because the crisis accompanies a person until old age. The most interesting situation happens when two or more crises coincide in a family. For example, when one child is in a crisis of three years, another is in a teenage crisis, and dad is in a midlife crisis. And my grandmother has age-related depression associated with the aging crisis.

If a child's critical period lasts from six weeks to three months, then in adults it can be months and years, although the manifestations of the crisis in a child are much more pronounced. You can only guess for several months that your life partner is in a crisis situation, and in a child you will see immediately the next day that something has changed in him.

What to do during a crisis?

Not everything can be allowed to a child in a crisis period. We need to allow what cannot be prohibited.

Like any complex behavior, parents often try to simply suppress the crisis manifestations of the child, to make the child still obey, not scream, be submissive.

It is possible to suppress the manifestations, but this is the same as giving vasoconstrictor drugs when the child has a runny nose. When a child is in a crisis, he has the task of rebuilding his relationship with his parents and entering some new orbit of independence. If we simply suppress these negative behavioral manifestations with tank troops (and parents usually have the strength to suppress the child's behavior), we do not allow the child to solve this problem - gaining independence.

The child does not need to be given all the independence that he asks, but you need to agree with him about in which areas he will be given more independence, and in which he cannot show it. Not to satisfy all requirements, but to agree. Understand what is happening to him, what he wants.

At a year and a half, all children usually want to pour juice from a package into a cup. And we know perfectly well how pouring juice into a cup ends ... The child does not know, his task is to gain this experience. For us, this experience can be traumatic: maybe this is the last juice, or we cannot stand the dirt in the kitchen, or we were never allowed to pour anything as a child, this model affects us, and it is difficult for us to allow such behavior. But until the child has this kind of experience, he will not back down.

The behavior of a child in a crisis is very persistent and persistent, he will endlessly demand that these demands be met. Not everything can be allowed, but everything possible must be allowed in order for the child to gain experience. This is one of the basic recommendations for dealing with a child in a crisis.

The requirements of the regime remain unshakable. This is something that children never decide. We transfer responsibility for the regime only to a teenager at the age of 14-15, and not at 12. And the child never decides how to behave to his parents.

There is a Russian problem - with irregular working hours. The child's regimen is shifted, and the children who go to classes suffer a lot, because either they don't go to bed on time, but they see their dad, or they go to bed, but they don't see their dad.

We need to allow what cannot be prohibited. But not every time you are asked to allow. How in " little prince when the king issued laws: “I command you to sneeze. I command you not to sneeze." Sometimes you have to legitimize something, some demand of the child, you need to issue an appropriate law, having agreed with the pope, so that the decisive will comes from the parents. Maybe the child's demand is just.

Often a few minutes of communication with dad are very valuable. But first, an agreement must be concluded between adults, then it should be brought down to the children and the obligations under the agreement explained: if you wait for dad, then you won’t make a fuss when you get up in the morning. Communication with dad, especially for boys in a certain period of time, is a super value. But the regime is not shifted by a child.

There is one important component of a preschooler - daytime sleep. It is believed that up to 4-4, 5 years sleep is necessary. After 5-5.5 years, many children no longer need to sleep. If they sleep, then they do not fall asleep in the evening. General rule- Keep daytime sleep as long as possible. But the family is a state with its own laws. There are a small number of families where children do not sleep during the day, and this is normal for them, but only 0.1 percent of such families. Basically everyone would be better off sleeping. Children who do not sleep still need daytime rest, a break - both preschoolers and some first and second graders. You need a pause, interrupting the pace and the number of impressions.

And one more thing: parents are obliged to monitor the safety of the child. Safety precautions should be deployed as much as possible in each case. If the child has a desire to put a cutlet on a hot frying pan, you must first explain what “hot” is: “Try the cup with your finger, and it’s much hotter there. When it's hot, it hurts."

When a child experiments with inanimate objects, then only one side can suffer - the child himself (we are not talking about material damage now). The situation is more difficult when someone else might get hurt. Such a situation should be better insured. From your child's experiments nature shouldn't suffer. All experiments are needed for this, so that children learn to calculate the consequences. Parents should know the consequences for them and should be able to insure their children well. Because many experiments with nature are then associated with a great sense of guilt. You need to warn in advance in accessible ways so that the child understands you.

An annoyed educator does not educate, irritates

The explanation should be accessible - age-appropriate, calm and spoken at a time when the child hears.

The child hears irritated speech “in the wrong place”. The child hears only the tone. First of all, he reads the information that is now evil. It happens that intonation completely blocks the content. Sometimes it doesn't block 100%. Hears something, but not what you want to say. He spends a lot of energy on coping with the emotional coloring of this speech.

Sometimes tough measures are needed (for example, if you threw a typewriter at your brother’s head), you have to say, if you throw it again, it will go to the closet. You can take the toy. You can develop a family rule of what to do if the child behaves in this way.

If you just explain, it does not mean that the explanation will work right now. Maybe the fifth explanation will work, maybe the one hundred and twenty-fifth, maybe your son or daughter will simply outgrow the desire to quit.

If explaining in a calm environment does not work, you need to think about why such a correct method does not work. For example, throwing and playing with a stick is one of the basic needs of boys. Then he needs to be given toys that can be thrown. Maybe he can’t express any emotions in words, so he throws himself. You need to try to teach him to explain himself with words, not with throws. In any case, we need to develop rules that will protect others from being thrown.

An annoyed tone will work in some case, but it is the irritation that will act, and not what you want to say. If you spank your child and yell at him a lot, explanations won't work. Because the strongest emotional measure works.

Why do parents who yell and beat their children have worse hearing loss? Because until the parent hits and screams, he will not react. Only the strongest one used works.

The critical period is difficult to overcome with nannies and grandmothers. Parents, if not tired, not exhausted, are ready to give the child more independence if they figured out what the matter is, what the child is trying to achieve, and nannies and grandmothers are very afraid to give it. Babysitters need to be given permission to grow up and encouraged to do so. If it's a nanny, we need job descriptions.

During the crisis period, the educational measures that worked before cease to work. The idea is not to reinforce them, but to try to understand what the child wants, requires. Not in order to fully agree to the demands, but in order to issue a decree that would legalize some of these demands, increasing the dose of independence of the child.

The inner meaning of the child's crisis is to grow up. Growing up does not happen in a soft way, but in a sharp way. Growing up is all about independence. Initially, we carry the baby inside the abdomen, then we give birth. Then the child begins to crawl, walk, talk. He is becoming more and more independent of us. Let's take it for granted and ... with joy!

According to the complexity of the course of the crisis in children 6-7 years old can only be compared with the teenage crisis. At this age, the carefree preschool life of the baby ends, he acquires a new status - a first grader. Much of the crisis children 6-7 years is due to the responsibilities that have piled on them, with the burden of which young students cannot always cope without the help of their parents.

What is the crisis of the age of seven in children

Around the age of seven, parents are faced with a certain identity crisis associated with the fact that the baby needs to go to school. Here begins a new period in the life of the child - the youngest. Parents, of course, are very concerned about how ready their child is to go to school, whether they will cope with the assimilation of the program, how the new team will accept it.

Due to developmental psychology, it is possible to cope with a crisis in a 7-year-old child only with an integrated approach. Sometimes the involvement of specialists is required. Most parents believe that the most important points learning at school are the ability to do what they say, restrain their emotions, listen to instructions, etc.

At first glance, it may seem that the child gradually reaches the required level of mental development. Indeed, the crisis 6 years of age mentions sound much less frequent, since during this period the baby has a relatively stable system of relationships with parents, other family members and peers. These relations are regulated by a number of norms and requirements. The child performs a number of specific duties, for example, observes the daily routine, helps parents with housework, etc., in addition, he has a certain amount of free time.

However, after a while, parents are faced with one very important problem - their child becomes naughty, irritable, and increasingly naughty. The crisis of 7 years of the child is manifested by regular conflicts with adults, the younger student ignores those duties that he used to perform almost with pleasure.

Parents notice that their child has stopped interacting with them and does not respond in any way to reminders related to going to bed, meal times, etc. Later, he begins to argue, contradict, largely violate the established daily routine, act up.

It is worth noting that during this period of life, the child has a rather serious stressful situation due to the fact that the social situation of the baby is changing dramatically. It replaces the relationship between the child and parents, the activities of the younger student are replaced by new ones. Such a transition is often quite painful, it is usually accompanied by stubbornness, various negative manifestations. At this stage, parents come to a certain confusion - if the child stops listening to them, does not comply with a number of elementary rules, then how will he listen to the teacher when he goes to school?

Psychology of the crisis of childhood at 6-7 years old

However, if we consider the current situation from the point of view of psychology, then there is nothing surprising in a crisis for a child of 7 years old. This is a completely natural stage in the development of his personality, when he is going through one of the most important periods of his life. The psychological space of the resulting crisis is the very area where the child begins to test his emerging abilities.

The fact is that before understanding what it is like to act according to certain rules, the child must first become aware of these rules, distinguish them from the existing life situation. This is what causes the crisis and misunderstanding between him and his parents. Children gradually identify the rules that have been set for them, and their first reaction is a violation, which is a completely natural phenomenon.

But how to understand that a crisis has begun at the physiological level in children of 7 years old? A young organism goes through an active stage of biological maturation. By this age, the frontal regions of the cerebral hemispheres are finally formed. Thanks to this, the child acquires the ability of purposeful and voluntary behavior, he is able to plan his further actions.

At the same age, the mobility of nervous processes increases, but the processes of excitation are still key, it is because of them that the baby is restless, his emotional excitability is at an increased level. The development of the crisis of a child at the age of 7 is affected by a number of surrounding unfavorable factors. The baby's psyche begins to react in a new way to all sorts of harmful external stimuli. For example, if the baby is ill, then he has psychomotor agitation, stuttering or tics. In junior school age many children have increased general emotional excitability, symptoms and fear syndromes regularly appear, and they begin to show aggression more often than before.

The proximity of the school bench also provokes the crisis of the child of the 7th year of life, and this is due to the formation of the internal position of the future first grader. At this age, the child gradually loses his childish immediacy. At a younger age, his behavior is relatively understandable to the people around him, primarily to his parents. When a crisis of seven years of age begins in him, even an outside observer will be able to notice that the baby has lost his naivety and spontaneity in behavior. In communication with other people, both with peers and with elders, certain changes also occur. His actions from this age onwards are not so easy to explain.

The loss of immediacy is associated with the fact that the intellectual component begins to wedge into the behavior of the child. In some cases, actions seem artificial or forced, they are not always clearly manifested. Therefore, the most significant feature of the crisis situation of this age is the separation of the external and internal sides of the personality, due to which a large number of different kinds of experiences arise.

At this age, for the first time, he tries to generalize the emotions that occur inside him. If the situation was repeated with him repeatedly, then the baby is able to comprehend it and draw a conclusion on how to relate to himself, his successes and position. He can roughly imagine how others around him will react to one or another of his actions. However, experiences have another side - they often come into conflict with each other, which ultimately leads to the emergence of internal tension. This cannot but affect the psyche of the child.

It is worth noting that the experiences of a child at 6-7 years old have a number of their own characteristics. They acquire a specific meaning, i.e., the child becomes able to understand what kind of experiences occur in his soul - he rejoices, upset, angry, etc.

It often happens that a child's experiences are connected with the fact that for the first time in his life he is faced with new difficult or unpleasant situations from which he has to find a way out. However, the generalization of experiences is one of the key points for the baby to be able to overcome the crisis of seven years of age.

The behavior of the child ceases to be momentary, he gradually begins to realize his capabilities, such vital concepts as pride and self-esteem begin to form in his head. They are very different from what happened to him before. Child younger age loves himself very much, but pride (if it is perceived as a generalized attitude to his personality) and self-esteem are not observed in him.

The crisis of development of a child of the 7th year of life: the first time in the first grade

In addition, the crisis of the age of seven in children is associated by psychologists with the formation of a new system of education for the child - the internal position of the first grader. It does not arise every minute, but begins to be laid in the psyche of the baby, starting at about five years of age. Children are gradually realizing that in the near future they will have to go to school, many of them are waiting for this moment as a holiday, serious things that are already getting out of the game process become more attractive for them. Therefore, often the child at this stage begins to violate the established daily routine in kindergarten, the society of younger preschoolers becomes a burden for him. He begins to understand that he needs new knowledge. Thus, there is a need for learning, which can be realized after the baby goes to first grade for the first time.

Sometimes the situation begins to develop in a different way. baby crisis 7 years can also develop if children, under the influence of certain circumstances, do not find themselves on the school bench, however, their position as a schoolboy by this moment has been fully formed. Children have a desire to go to school, they strive to take a new position in society, ordinary preschool activities cease to satisfy them. A child at this age strives for his new social position to be recognized by others. He begins to protest that his parents treat him like a child. At the same time, it does not matter at all where this happens - on the street, among strangers, or at home, when only close people are nearby. This protest can take many different forms.

It goes without saying that the crisis of the age of seven is not formed every minute, so psychologists distinguish several stages in the formation of the position of the future student at once. First of all, they note that closer to seven sodas, children begin to perceive school positively, even though the main meaningful moments of the educational process remain a mystery to them. By and large, such a position of the child is still preschool, he simply transfers it to school soil. The child wants to go to school, but is not going to change his usual way of life. A positive image of this is formed in his mind. educational institution due to external attributes: he becomes interested in whether there is a certain form of clothing there, how his successes will be evaluated, how he will have to behave there.

The next stage in the development of a positive position of the future student in relation to the school is the emergence of an orientation towards the reality of the educational institution, in particular, towards its meaningful moments. However, first of all, the child pays attention not so much to the learning process itself, but to socialization in the team.

The last stage, associated with the formation of the crisis of 7 years of age, is the direct emergence of the child's position, when he already has a social orientation and a final orientation to the key components of life in the school itself. However, as a rule, the student is fully aware of this only closer to the beginning of the third grade of elementary school.

The crisis of the junior school student and the motives of the first grader

The crisis of a junior schoolchild is largely provoked by the active development of the motivational sphere, when he has new motives to commit or not to commit this or that act. Here, the key role is played by the motives that can induce the future first grader to go to school:

• cognitive activity, expressed in the educational process;
• motives aimed at the emergence of new acquaintances, in addition, they are associated with the acceptance as a given that it is necessary to learn;
• the child seeks to take a new position in relations with the people around him, that is, he, by and large, moves from one social group (preschoolers) to a new one (secondary school students);
• motives that have an external orientation, because the child has to somehow obey the requirements imposed on him by adults; V game motif, transferred in his mind to a new sphere, which now represents study;
• competitive motive based on getting a higher grade compared to other students in the class.

To study in detail all the motives that drive the behavior of a child, you can use one well-tested psychological method. Offer the baby short story, where each of the characters in his own way explains his desire to go or not go to school. In this case, the child will have to choose one of the proposed versions. As child psychologists say, children around the age of six have a high motivating force of the game motive, which is often combined with a social or positional motive. In learning conditions (if a 6-year-old child is already attending school), this motive gradually fades into the background, and it is replaced by positional and cognitive ones. This process is much slower than for a six-year-old who is not yet in school.

These data suggest that sending a child to school until he reaches a certain age should not be done. The so-called "crisis of the first class" can have a very negative impact on its development.

Psychologists have noticed that between preschool and primary school age, a child dramatically changes his self-esteem. Before reaching the age of six or seven, he perceives himself exclusively positively, and this does not at all depend on the area in which he evaluates himself. Psychologists clearly demonstrate the manifestation of the crisis childhood at 6-7 years old with the help of a simple exercise called "Ladder". The child is offered to determine his skills and abilities and put them on a certain rung of the ladder, depending on how he evaluates himself. Children under six years of age always put themselves on the highest rung and define their development as the highest.

Before entering school, the child's responses begin to change dramatically. In many ways, the crisis of a first-grader is connected with the fact that he begins to distinguish between the I-real (the person he really is in currently) and I-ideal (what he would like to become or what skills to master). The self-esteem of a growing personality becomes more adequate, the baby is no longer going to position himself at the highest level, however, the level of claims that is dictated to him by his ideal self remains very high.

At the same age, the attitude of the child to adults changes greatly. Around the age of seven, children gradually begin to distinguish their behavior when communicating with loved ones and other adults, even outsiders. If you ask a six-year-old child what a stranger can talk to him about, he will answer that he will offer to play, call him somewhere. It turns out that children at six summer age perceive strangers adults as friends or as relatives. But just a couple of months after the child turns six years old, he can offer several options at once regarding communication with a stranger, tell what exactly he expects from the treatment of a stranger. For example, children often report that an outsider might try to get their address, name, and phone number. They begin to gradually distinguish the difference between communication between loved ones and strangers.

At the age of seven, voluntary mental activity and behavior begin to form. It is at this age that the child becomes able to perceive and retain a number of certain rules, and their significance increases significantly. All these abilities appear due to the fact that a rather complex chain of concepts arises in the mind of the child.

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A crisis is a turning point in a child's life, associated with his growing up and determining the corresponding needs. Every child, from birth to adolescence, experiences different crisis periods.

The most basic crisis periods in the development of a child are the crisis of the newborn period, 1 year, 3 years, 6-7 years, 12-14 years. Depending on how adults behave at this stage, how reasonably and competently they treat the child, whether they help him survive it or, on the contrary, aggravate the situation in every possible way, the duration of the crisis can differ significantly.

Crisis 6-8 weeks of baby's life

The crisis period of the newborn is associated to a greater extent with the physiological state of the child, and, of course, psychological. Starting from the first day of life, the baby must adapt to the world around him, namely: he will learn to breathe on his own, get food and be able to overfeed it. The psychological side of the neonatal crisis involves establishing close contact with the mother. A very big responsibility lies with her. The sooner the mother can install it, the more gently and reverently she treats the child, the sooner he will survive this crisis period.

Crisis of the 1st year of a baby's life

The period of the child's crisis from one to one and a half years is explained, first of all, by the fact that he begins to walk and master the technique of speech. At this stage, the baby already becomes a social unit, with its own requirements and needs. He already moves independently, like adults and learns to maintain a dialogue.

A great trauma for a one-year-old child is the understanding that his mother does not belong to him completely, that she is leaving somewhere, she has her own affairs and interests. Therefore, the baby, although he is trying in every possible way to show his independence, walks and checks whether his mother is in place, whether she has gone anywhere. Babies who have just learned to walk can visit their mother in the kitchen every few minutes while she prepares dinner, making sure that she is present. The main thing here is not to suppress the child in his desire to move around, but to show as much love and attention to him as possible and guarantee him complete safety.

Crisis period 3 years

The most acute manifestations of the crisis period are observed in children in three years old. They manifest themselves due to the growing up of the child and his understanding that he becomes a social unit with his own views on the situation and his own needs.

Increasingly, from the baby you can hear the word “I don’t want”, “I won’t”. Such a reaction is manifested literally in everything that his adults ask him, up to doing everything the other way around. Striving for something and not getting the expected result, the child can throw a tantrum out of the blue. There is nothing wrong with this, he is growing up, but he is not yet able to fully be independent and manages without outside help.

Often at the age of 3, you can hear the insert “I myself” from a child. He tries to do everything on his own. You don’t need to interfere with this, but on the contrary, support him in every possible way, offering your little help. In this difficult period for the child himself, as well as for his parents, it is important to provide support and show more and more love for him, despite all his whims.

Parents must ensure that the baby is completely safe from the outside world, but in no case should you control him openly, rather, watch from the sidelines in order to be ready to help at the right time. It is strictly forbidden to answer the cry of a child with a cry, to try to “break” him. This can lead to alienation of the child and negatively affect the formation of negative qualities of his character in the future.

Crisis 6-7 years

The crisis period of the child in ages 6-7 years, is primarily associated with his transition to a more adult lifestyle - school. He is already obliged to study more than to play, as before. Play and recreation now move into the background. Each child at this stage experiences it in their own way.

Parents need to support their child in every possible way at primary school age, if necessary, help him, give him confidence that he can cope with absolutely everything. In no case should a child be compared with other children who are more successful. For every parent, his child must be unique and talented, this confidence must be instilled in him. If he asks for help, if he asks something, the mother is obliged to find time to pay due attention to her child so that he does not feel lonely and abandoned because he has become one step older. But the crisis periods of child development do not end there.

Adolescence crisis

The crisis period of 12-14 years is associated with the growing up of the child and his transition from childhood to adolescence. As a rule, during this period, adolescents experience strong psychological and emotional changes. They are accompanied by increased excitability, nervousness, constant contradiction with elders.

Children in adolescence are experiencing rapid changes in their body, which are manifested in the form of acne and disproportionate growth of body parts. This is especially felt in girls when puberty begins and they lose their attractiveness, worrying that they will no longer like their peers of the opposite sex. It is very important to carefully notice such details so as not to offend them. It is necessary to make it clear to the child that the parents love him no matter what and he will always be the best and most beautiful for them.

Very often in adolescence, growing up boys and girls strive for independence, resorting to the most daring and thoughtless actions. Trying to prove their growing up to their parents, they can run away from home, make dubious acquaintances with older young people. During this period, parents need to be very correct in relation to the maturing child. It is necessary, first of all, to learn that the child is no longer small and this is irreversible. You need to win his trust, casually not obsessively interested in his affairs, with whom he spends time, to have sincere conversations in a quiet and calm environment. It is very important, given the frequent mood swings of a teenager, to create a warm atmosphere for him at home, without scandals and interrogations.

If there are any difficulties with relationships with a teenager, it is best to seek help from a qualified specialist - a psychologist who will give the right parting words and help relieve the current situation.

Despite the fact that in their lives, children, from birth to full adulthood, go through periods of crisis, showing their love and correct attitude towards them, parents can and must help to survive them as painlessly as possible in order to cross a new step on the path. to the formation of a happy and successful personality.