We continue to publish the conversations of Schema-Archimandrite Abraham (Reidman), confessor of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery, which were held with the laity and monastics over the past 15 years. In this conversation, we will talk about what prevents us from perceiving reality in its true light.

Schema-Archimandrite Abraham (Reidman)

Everyone knows the following saying of the Savior: Evil thoughts come from the human heart: adulteries, fornications, murders, debts, covetousness, resentment, deceit, flattery, adultery, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness (Mk. 7, 21-22). Today I would like to draw your attention to one item from this list, namely, the eye is evil. It turns out that it comes from the human heart ... the eye is deceitful. How to understand it?

If we express the same thought modern language, one could say that a wrong, crafty view of things comes from the heart. I would like to talk to you about this wrong view. In other words, today we will talk about spiritual blindness, or perversion of spiritual vision.

It seems to us that if we have vision, then we see things as they really are. However, it is not. We often do not even realize how distorted we look at reality. Some things seem completely obvious to us, and when someone tries to argue with us, we boil: “What are you? You don’t understand anything, do you?!” And if you take a closer look at where this view of things comes from in us, it will turn out that we have absorbed it from books, films and even school lessons.

We do not attach importance to the impressions that have shaped us since childhood: “Just think, school! I don’t even remember what they taught there.” No. We may not remember, but we think the way we have been taught. We cannot substantiate our way of thinking, and it often grows out of an incorrect, non-religious upbringing, from communication with people who are alien to the Church.

But main reason distorted vision of reality, of course, in our passion. A person who has succumbed to this or that passion: pride, anger, envy, sees everything so wrongly that sometimes he does not notice the obvious, and, on the contrary, perceives something non-existent as reality. He is angry - and sees around him only enemies, one way or another, deliberately or unconsciously harming him specifically. And even the external circumstances themselves, say the weather, are perceived by him as hostile.

He succumbed to despair or despondency - and sees in every object an occasion to become depressed. Any trifle that a person in an even state of mind does not notice is perceived by him as a terrible grief. And if a passion in a person has turned into a skill, then the world in his eyes is more and more distorted, so that this already borders on mental illness. For example, he gets used to seeing imaginary enemies around him to such an extent that he suspects the government, work employees, neighbors, family members, and casual passers-by of malicious intent ...

Passions act in us so cunningly and powerfully that, without realizing it, we see beauty instead of ugliness, and instead of beauty - ugliness, instead of kindness - evil, instead of lies - truth. Everything, everything, everything that surrounds us: both nature, and people, and our inner state, and relations between people — everything is subjected to the grossest distortion depending on our state.

He who is under the influence of passion is like a drunkard: you say sound things to him, but he cannot perceive them, having eyes, he does not see, and having ears, he does not hear. Sinful filth, beating from the heart, like a kind of mud source, completely fills a person and does not allow him to perceive pure and clear truths. No matter how sensibly and intelligently you speak, no matter what arguments you give, even if you did a miracle, you still cannot convince such a person, because he is carried away by passion, like a mighty stream, and sees absolutely nothing. He becomes like a madman who takes hallucinations for reality.

An excellent example of this is provided by the Monk Abba Dorotheos. One monk, succumbed to the passion of condemnation, imagined that a certain brother was approaching Holy Communion after eating fruit in the garden. The monk told the abbot about this, and he called his brother aside when he approached the Chalice, which, of course, was unpleasant. But the abbot could not allow a person who showed such disrespect for the Sacrament to Communion. He began to question his brother, and it turned out that he had come to the service straight from his obedience, and before that he had not been in the monastery at all. That monk only thought he saw him in the garden.

Sometimes such blindness, clouding of the mind goes to extremes. For example, in the East there are teachings according to which reality is illusory. The Buddha taught that human consciousness is formed by a random combination of certain mental particles, a kind of atoms, but not material, but spiritual. There is no reality as such, but only the activity of consciousness. When a person realizes this, then, even if everything around is bad, everything is filled with suffering, but the particles fall into place, consciousness stops and bliss, nirvana sets in. True, who is blissful is not clear: after all, there is no one.

This is an example of how one can reach such an absurd perception of reality - its complete denial. That's what passion can do to a person! This is so obvious in Buddhism that it is even called the religion of despair.

Examples of the behavior of a person darkened by passion, everyone can remember even from their own lives. And now I will give an example from the Gospel. Remember that amazing dinner in Bethany, where the Lord ate food with Lazarus, whom He raised from the dead. It was incomprehensible to the mind, it was a living testimony of the greatest of the miracles created by the Lord Jesus Christ. This was understood and felt by all the apostles who reclined at that supper.

But Judas, who was also present at the resurrection of Lazarus, does not seem to see what everyone sees, does not realize what is happening. He only thinks about the fact that he lost the money that Mary spent on myrrh for the Lord and which he could steal if they were put into his money box. He does not care that the resurrected Lazarus is present here, his heart is occupied with something else: he counts his losses. The love of money has so distorted reality in the eyes of Judas that he is not able to see even the greatest miracle.

Something similar happened with the scribes and Pharisees. There was such power of conviction in the words of the Lord that even the scribes, being educated people, could not contradict Him. But, despite this, they opposed the preaching of the Savior, because under the influence of passions, primarily pride and vanity, they came to a state of complete spiritual blindness and deafness. The Savior says this about them: Hear with your ears and you will not understand, and you will look with your eyes and you will not see. We cannot say that these words apply only to the Pharisees and other Jews who did not accept the Savior's preaching. Unfortunately, they can be applied to any of us, Orthodox Christians, if we only call ourselves Christians.

People who have not accepted the gospel are blind, even if, by human reasoning, they have extraordinary mental powers. But we, Orthodox Christians, can also become blind if we follow Christian teaching formally, if we give in to the action of our passions. We often boast that we are Christians, that we know a lot, we even consider ourselves capable of leading others, but in reality we are blind people who want to become guides to other blind people.

And it happens the other way around: simple people, who know little, ordinary people, limited thanks to the enlightenment of grace, thanks to a sincere, consistent, complete perception of the gospel teaching, become sighted, begin to see everything in the true light, become teachers and leaders of the blind, having the right to do so. What were and, and their disciples, the so-called apostolic men, and the holy fathers, and all the ascetics of piety from ancient times to the present day.

How to get the right view of things, how to get rid of this veil that darkens our mind? To do this, we must, firstly, be aware that we are susceptible to this disease, and therefore look at ourselves soberly, always look around, asking ourselves the question: “Maybe I do not accept what they tell me, for the reason that in me Is there any passion at work? Maybe it's my fault?"

Secondly, you need to purify your heart, purify it with prayer, purify it with sobriety. Gradually getting rid of the thoughts that defile us, we will also purify our mind, that is, the eye, and make it simple. Then we will learn to look at things not in our own way, not with our mind, darkened by passions, we will learn to perceive them not as our sinful heart tells us, which cannot be trusted, but we will perceive everything as our Lord Jesus Christ taught, as now He teaches us through His holy gospel, through the gospel. We will never improve if we do not make efforts to acquire Christian common sense, a pure, correct view of things, such that we will think not in our own way, but in the patristic way.

Originality of thought, and in general originality in any respect, which is sought in the world, is completely alien to Christianity. We despise her, we see in her, on the one hand, stupid and childish, on the other, very dangerous and destructive. We do not need any originality and exclusivity, we must strive to ensure that each of us acquires the mind of Christ, as the apostle Paul said about himself and the other apostles: We have the mind of Christ. Those who have acquired such a mind will be able to correctly see, first of all, themselves, their life path.

I repeat once again: the meaning of today's instruction is that we should be sober and check every step with the Gospel. Through the feat of inner purification, we must acquire, in the words of the Savior, a simple eye, then our spiritual life will become bright, and we will be enlightened with light from within.

Question. You say that we look at things in a distorted way. But after all, we have common sense, is it really impossible to be guided by it in life?

Answer. Sometimes you can, in some everyday situations. But we must understand that this so-called common sense needs to be revised and purified by the Gospel. Our common sense otherwise life experience, is sometimes based on repeated mistakes that force us to acquire some skills, some correct attitude to things, but very often our character is mixed in here, and our character is, as a rule, a combination of all kinds of passions. Of course, there are also good inclinations, but in a person goodness is mixed with evil, as he says. And each of us, in accordance with the character, gets his own common sense.

Why can't we all, having common sense, find a common language with each other? Of course, for the reason that in fact he is not healthy at all. In fact, different passions of different people collide here. And so sometimes we, as it seems to us, sensibly reasoning, actually justify our passion. It seems to us under the influence of passion that no other conclusion can be drawn. It is impossible to do otherwise. There is no other way to say it. But in fact, it is not circumstances that make us behave this way, but our internal state.

Let's ask ourselves a question, and let the same common sense tell us: why on the same circumstances different people react differently? If these circumstances are so indisputable and so they push us to the only correct decision, then why do we see a huge variety of human reactions to circumstances. Precisely because our passion makes us see events in completely different ways, explain them in completely different ways, interpret them and react to them in different ways.

Question. I often look at things not in the gospel way, but in my own way, out of fear that otherwise I will have to suffer some inconvenience or damage.

Answer. Yes, in many cases you will indeed have to suffer some kind of damage. It is more convenient for us, say, in order to satisfy some of our passions, to do this, and the Gospel says: “No, this cannot be done,” and we, acting according to the commandment, remain, for example, hungry, or deceived, or offended . This will definitely happen, and here a struggle with oneself is necessary. But on the other hand, when we endure this struggle and defeat ourselves, we feel more and more grace, we feel such consolation that we are ready to give up everything altogether.

Question. At the moment of passion, you don’t understand that you need to fight it, all thoughts seem to be the most just: grumbling, resentment, vanity, and so on. How to overcome it?

Answer. It's from inexperience. We do not see passion at the moment when it begins to act in us, when we begin to be tempted. And the power of temptation is precisely in the fact that he convinces that in this situation it is impossible to do otherwise: “How not to be tempted by this woman if she is so beautiful?” Or: “How not to get angry with him when he said such and such?” It seems to us that all our arguments in this case are quite obvious and convincing.

How to deal with it? Always remember the Gospel, read it every day. Read the holy fathers, who explain to us the action of the passions. And when we keep in mind the commandments of the Gospel and the instructions of the Holy Fathers, we will be able to recognize how the passions work in us and learn how to fight them. But, of course, the main thing is prayer. If we don't pray, then all of our theoretical knowledge will be dead.

Without prayer, especially the Jesus Prayer, the reading of the holy fathers turns into a Chinese letter, we really won’t understand anything there. And we will be like a man who has a lot of books on his shelf. foreign language, the roots are beautiful, but he cannot read them. Reading, I repeat, is necessary, but only together with prayer.

Who is a confessor, and does a layman need one? How to confess correctly? What must a man do to receive from a priest right advice? These and other questions are answered by the Confessor of the Novo-Tikhvin Convent and the Holy Kosminskaya Monastery for Men.

- Father Abraham, who is he? How does he differ from an ordinary parish priest, to whom they go for confession?

– A confessor must have a special gift, which is considered the highest in the Orthodox ascetic tradition – reasoning. Any priest can perform the Sacraments, but not every priest, even a zealous one, has reason.

In the Greek Church, for example, there is such a practice: confessors are appointed there, and only they can receive confession. The Russian Church has a different tradition. But in any case, the main thing that can be advised to those who wish to find a confessor is that they look for a person who has life experience, reasonable and sensible.

And it is necessary to understand at the same time that the gift of reasoning can manifest itself in different degrees: one thing is the reasoning of a God-bearing elder, an ascetic, and another thing is the reasoning of a simple confessor, especially one who confesses to the laity.

—Does a layman need a confessor at all?

– Of course, it is desirable for a layman to have a confessor. However, one must remember important point. People often turn to confessors, asking for advice on practical, everyday issues. But the confessor is not an adviser in this. For example, an engineer asks about something in connection with his professional activity. But the priest in this area may be incompetent, and therefore should not advise anything.

Both the confessor himself and the spiritual child must understand this. The confessor is a specialist in the moral field. It is needed in order to help a Christian to consider any life situation from a spiritual and moral point of view.

- What should a priest teach his parishioner - obedience or independence and responsibility?

- To both. Obedience is also necessary, advice is needed in everything. But it is also necessary to teach a person independence, because a spiritual father cannot constantly, so to speak, be in touch with his spiritual child in order to give him the necessary advice at any time.

In principle, obedience is a means to accustom a person to independence and responsibility. There is no need to oppose these two things. When a person, through obedience, acquires the habit of moral life, he can then do it himself moral choice in order to avoid sin and act virtuously.

—Does a layman need the virtue of obedience, and what should it consist of?

– Of course, a layman should obey a priest, but not for the sake of formality and not because it is just necessary. Obedience is necessary in order to be prompted how to behave like a Christian in one or another life situation, moreover, a person who has more reason than you suggested. That is the value of a confessor.

Actually, one should not talk about whether the virtue of obedience is necessary for a layman. It would be more correct to ask: does a layman need to live like a Christian? If he is a Christian, then this follows naturally from his exalted rank. But we are not always able to independently understand and correctly apply this or that commandment to certain circumstances of life. And so we need an adviser in this regard, a more experienced person.

It is desirable that this be a confessor, but sometimes, in exceptional cases, it can be some kind of virtuous, reasonable layman, our spiritual friend. There is such a proverb, very wise: "Whoever you lead, you will gain from that." By reasoning, if we are friends with pious people, this shows that we ourselves are pious.

Actually, obedience is a zeal to live morally. And it is clear that this is necessary. And the confessor is our senior comrade, who surpasses us in reasoning, and therefore we resort to him for advice.

– Is the virtue of obedience possible in our time? wrote about the “impoverishment of the living vessels of Divine grace”, which made obedience in the classical sense impossible. On the other hand, he spoke about the fact that obedience is a sacrament. Where is the truth?

- Obedience is a thing without which it is impossible to exist. After all, we obey not only the confessor. We obey our bosses, our parents, our friends. And if we obey the boss, diligently and zealously, in order to make a career, but we will not obey the confessor, then this means that there is a clear distortion in our life. If we obey friends in some everyday situations, and neglect the opinion of the confessor, then this is an even stronger bias. Therefore, it is impossible to do without the virtue of obedience.

Another thing is how to understand it. If we remember what St. Ignatius says about obedience, we will see that he does not deny it, as some believe, but limits it, explaining that it is not possible to unquestioningly obey one's spiritual leader in all cases. At the same time, he speaks of the benefits of the revelation of thoughts, of obedience to elders in the monastery.

He also says that because of true obedience, the devil can even stir up abuse. He writes: if it so happened that you found a true leader, then this already serves as a pretext for the devil to raise up a scolding. Therefore, we should not say that the virtue of obedience is impossible in our time. Impossible in our time unquestioning obedience. And St. Ignatius did not completely deny obedience, but spoke about the general order of things due to the fact that there were few true spiritual leaders.

Especially for a layman, it is impossible to find a person who can be obeyed unquestioningly. Therefore, you need to perceive the confessor as an adviser, as a more experienced person. And not just to do everything that he says, without explaining anything to him, without explaining his situation.

This can be compared for imagery with what is happening in other areas of our lives. Does a person need medicine? Of course it is. But this does not mean that if we went to the doctor, he would immediately cure us. Doctors make mistakes, there are more experienced and less experienced doctors. But because of this, we do not cross out medicine. You need to look for a more experienced doctor, to understand that the doctor can not immediately prescribe the necessary medicine, he selects it gradually.

In what sense we say that we need medicine and we need a doctor, in the same sense we need obedience and we need a confessor. To count on the fact that an ordinary priest will have a prophetic gift would be presumptuous. Yes, we probably would not even obey such a person, and it may well be that we would be more condemned by God for showing self-will when faced with such a person. And so we get more indulgence.

– What is “revelation of thoughts”, who needs it and why?

– This is a special kind of obedience that befits monastics: when a person tells not only about his actions, but about his entire inner life, constantly being in the attention of himself. This virtue is unusual for the laity, and is not needed.

Even if they wanted to, they would not be able to do this, because, being in constant activity, or, as they say, in worldly fuss, they cannot look after themselves so carefully. And they do not have the opportunity to constantly open their thoughts to the confessor. If they can see their confessor once a week, then this can be considered happiness. To tell him for a whole week everything that we experienced internally, it would be a burden both for him and for us.

– How to learn to follow the small everyday sins and thoughts? How then "not to strain the mosquito and not to swallow the camel"? After all, we often notice little things, but cruelty, pride, indifference - no ...

- There must be a reasonable attitude so as not to succumb to excessive attentiveness. This is not befitting people living in the world. Indeed, it may turn out that they will strain the mosquito and sort through all their thoughts, they will be immersed in themselves, and at the same time they will not follow their actions.

We need to watch not for trifles, but for what is obsessively operating in our mind. If some thought is imposed, then it must be confessed. If we have committed some kind of offense, then we need to tell the confessor about it and be ready to listen to a remark from him and, perhaps, even receive a penance. That is, you need to take care of yourself, but do not fall into excessive suspiciousness.

Suspiciousness is such an apparent virtue, when it seems to us that we are carefully watching ourselves, repenting, but in fact we are simply provoking excessive mental activity.

- How should it go? correct confession?

– The confession should be short and specific. It seems to me that these two words contain the answer to what a correct confession is. If we talk too much in detail, we can pay attention to some minor thing, and miss the most important thing. There is no need to talk about any accompanying circumstances if they are not directly related to what we profess.

At the same time, we need to speak specifically, that is, to speak precisely about this or that sin that we have committed, or about the issue that worries us. Because if we talk vaguely, then the confessor will not understand us. And then, due to our own fault, precisely because we speak too extensively and inaccurately, it may turn out that the confessor will give us the wrong advice. And he will not be to blame, but our overly suspicious attitude to what is happening to us.

“What if you know in your head that you are doing something wrong, but you don’t feel it in your heart?”

– If a person knows that he is acting badly, then, although his heart is silent, this is already some kind of step towards repentance. At the very least, let us repent of what we recognize as sin. Gradually, sympathy for virtue will come, and aversion to sin will appear. If, however, we immediately seek the highest degree, neglecting the one on which we stand, then we may not advance at all. We will stand still, and we will not have any movement in the sense of moral development.

What do you think are the most dangerous and widespread sins today?

- I believe that this is, firstly, the sin of arrogance, or, as we otherwise call it, pride, and, secondly, the sin of negligence, or, in other words, laziness. Laziness in spiritual and moral terms. From these two sins come all the others.

For pride, grace leaves us, and we are in danger of falling into adulterous sins, drunkenness and many other things, which we understand that this is bad, but we cannot resist, the whirlpool of passion carries us away. And all this is because pride has deprived us of a fertile cover.

Negligence is also extremely dangerous, because we wait for everything to happen by itself, we do not show jealousy, self-compulsion, and therefore we can also fall into the most terrible sins.

Until then, this will all happen, until we understand that, on the one hand, we need to humble ourselves and seek help from the one God, realizing our complete impotence, on the other hand, we need extreme compulsion of ourselves, because if we ourselves do nothing then God will not help us. As St. Pimen the Great says: if we fight, then the Lord will fight for us, but if we are inactive, then the Lord will not help us.

We love to justify ourselves. For example, people who are distinguished by an angry character are often rude to others, in response to a remark they can say: “I can’t help but get angry - my parents raised me poorly.” Or: “I have such a character, there’s nothing to be done about it.” Or even: “Who is rude? I?! This is not true, I always communicate with everyone very politely and cultured. It seems to us that our excuses are absolutely correct: if we sin, it is not our fault, it’s just people, character, upbringing, health, weather, and so on that interfere with us.

What does "self-justification" mean? Already in its structure, this word means behavior in which a person ascribes truth to himself, in other words, considers himself righteous. Theoretically, we all consider ourselves sinners, we repent at confession once a month or more often. But when it comes to concrete cases, we justify ourselves: in this case I am not guilty, in this respect I am behaving correctly ... If we add up all these countless cases, it will turn out to our surprise and shame that we only call ourselves sinners, but in fact we consider ourselves righteous. Naturally, thinking about ourselves in this way, we at the same time humiliate those around us, believing that they are to blame for everything, they tempt us, make us sin.

But the path of self-justification is a vicious, disastrous path. What does it lead to? Either to the fact that a person, refusing to see his sins, becomes spiritually dumb and does not at all try to live according to the commandments, or tries to change the circumstances that “prevent” him from fulfilling the Gospel. Then he develops an absurd, completely un-Christian activity, directing all his efforts not at himself, but at what surrounds him, most often at people. But each person is a completely free being, and at best we can only slightly influence him, and if he himself does not want it, no one has the power to change him. Therefore, often those who make such attempts see their futility and fall into despair.

According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, one of the most essential virtues for salvation is self-reproach. I do not mean that simple, even primitive manifestation of self-reproach, in which we insult ourselves in our souls, hurt, humiliate ourselves with some words. By self-reproach, one must understand something deeper - such an arrangement of the soul in which a person sees his own fault in everything and does not blame the external. If a person always sees his guilt, if he does not blame anyone for having sinned, then, logically, he will begin to look for means to change himself. A person who has acquired the skill of self-reproach comes to terms with the fact that his neighbor is not the way he would like him to be, and shows love for every person, regardless of whether he is good or evil, friend or foe. He does not justify himself by the fact that he was brought up badly, because he knows that he is free and, if he wanted to, would behave differently, choosing the good and rejecting what he was wrongly taught in childhood, for example, at school. He will not refer to the fact that his friends are tempting him, but will either move away from them, or, in spite of their seductive behavior, try to change himself on his own. And he will not pay attention to everything else that is external in relation to the free will of a person, knowing that it is only his fault that he deviated towards evil with his free will. Nothing can force a person to do evil if he does not want it, especially if we are talking about Christians - people whom the Lord Jesus Christ freed by His sufferings on the Cross and through the sacraments made not subject to sin. From the time of Christ's coming, man sins completely voluntarily, and not under the onslaught of circumstances, as it was (and to some extent could be justified) before the coming of Christ.

Two ways of thinking, two states of mind - self-justification and self-reproach - are depicted in the Gospel, although they are not called there with precisely these words - the terms of ascetic literature with which we are accustomed to operate.

Consider the well-known parable of the publican and the Pharisee, which is dedicated to one of the Sundays before Great Lent - the Week of the Publican and the Pharisee. Two people enter the church to pray: one is a Pharisee, and the other is a publican. Having become a Pharisee, praying in himself: God, I give You praise, as if I were like other people, predators, unrighteous, adulterer, or like this publican: I fast twice on Saturday, I give tithes of everything I will attract. This man justified himself and did not see his sins. Such self-justification (to use ascetic terms) removed him from God. The gospel goes on to say: The publican stood afar off, not wanting to raise his eyes to heaven, but beating his own, saying: God, be merciful to me a sinner. I say to you, for this is justified in his house more than onago: for everyone who ascends will humble himself, he who humbles himself will ascend. It turns out that the one who justifies himself rises up, the one who reproaches himself humbles himself.

What do the words of the publican mean: ? Or the words of the Jesus Prayer (essentially the same): “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner”? A sinner is one who is morally guilty. Thus, when we say the Jesus Prayer, we constantly reproach ourselves before God: “Forgive me, guilty of violating the moral commandments.” So we say, but do we feel it? Do we delve into the meaning of these words, does our heart participate in their pronunciation or does it remain cold? Or perhaps speaking the words of the publican: God, be merciful to me, a sinner, we actually reason like a Pharisee: " I thank You, Lord, that I am not like other people and I lead a spiritual life, I confess, I pray the Jesus Prayer”? We pronounce words of repentance and self-reproach, but our thoughts are pharisaic, interfering with real, attentive, sincere prayer. We justify ourselves both to ourselves and to other people, because such a mood cannot but break out. Sometimes we humble ourselves for show, because we know that in a certain society, in a monastery or in a Christian environment in general, humility is approved and revered as something significant. And the publican said only one word about himself - “sinner”, and if a person says this sincerely, from the bottom of his heart, then he has acquired the virtue of self-reproach.

When a person always and everywhere considers himself a sinner, this manifests itself in any everyday situation. We justify ourselves in every conflict, and he says: “Yes, I am guilty, I have sinned.” Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk once, in a conversation with a certain free-thinking nobleman, began to prove that he was wrong about God. And the nobleman, flaring up, gave Saint Tikhon a slap in the face. Then the saint made a prostration before him and said: "Forgive me for God's sake, that I offended you." This had such an effect on this indignant man that he himself fell at the feet of the saint and asked for his forgiveness, and later became a good Christian. It would seem that St. Tikhon was not to blame for anything in this case, but, as a humble person and a true Christian, he saw his guilt here too. If we sincerely considered ourselves sinners, if we sincerely uttered the words of the Jesus Prayer: “Have mercy on me, a sinner,” then in any situation we would find the fault in ourselves, and not in the people around us, things, circumstances, condition, and so on.

Very often we justify ourselves by preferring the so-called demands of common sense to the gospel commandments and the dictates of our conscience. But it must be said that “common sense” (not true, of course, but the one used by the world) changes over the years, and even more so with the change of eras. One "common sense" was among the pagans of antiquity, another - among the lukewarm Christians of the times of the domination of Christianity in the civilized world, the third - among modern materialists and atheists, the fourth - among the Mohammedans, the fifth - among the Buddhists ... But all these various "common senses" unanimously rise up against Christian morality. Sometimes this can be seen very clearly - the struggle takes place between people: some defend the position of the Church and Church Tradition, others are hostile to it, for example, from the standpoint of atheism or worldly materialism, which is expressed in the fact that a person does not particularly think about spiritual truths and bakes only about their material well-being. In these cases, things are easier. But, unfortunately, it very often happens that we ourselves, Orthodox Christians, take into ourselves something from the world and hold on to this imaginary common sense, without noticing or understanding it ourselves. Then the struggle between worldly "common sense" and the truth of Christianity takes place within us. Unfortunately, it often ends in the victory of this "common sense": we yield to it and trample on our Christian conscience.

When we follow ostensible common sense, we also manifest self-justification. Violating something from the Gospel teaching and Orthodox Tradition, we justify ourselves by the fact that common sense tells us to do just that: to show piety or cowardice, or some other passion, in order not to suffer harm or some kind of sorrow. Justifying ourselves with “common sense,” we constantly and therefore arrogantly, boldly, defiantly depart from the gospel teaching. We must be aware that we are acting sinfully, for example, out of fear, and ask the Lord for forgiveness.

Within ourselves we have both the publican and the Pharisee. The publican reproaches himself, the Pharisee justifies. One and the same person repents in an instant - and becomes a publican, and after a few minutes justifies himself - and turns into a Pharisee. If we become negligent in this struggle, if we incline towards self-justification, then, like the Pharisees and lawyers, we will move away from Christ and be deprived of Divine grace. We will not receive help in keeping the commandments, and we will remain barren.

Answers on questions:

Father, how can you reproach yourself in the case when you have done the deed, done everything necessary, but the deed did not work out? And you wonder: why, because everything is done well?

Perhaps God does not want this work to be done. Everything is the will of God. Probably in such a case it is appropriate not to reproach oneself, but simply to humble oneself, to surrender to the will of God. If I spoke about rooting, this does not mean that you need to reproach yourself everywhere and everywhere, where you need and where you don’t need. To have self-reproach means to see one's guilt precisely in the violation of the commandments.

When I pray, my loved ones laugh and mock me. Because of this, I often leave the prayer so as not to annoy them. Is this self-justification or am I acting right?

When we are surrounded by people who do not understand this, it is appropriate to recall the gospel words of the Savior: Do not give the saint a dog, nor mark your pearls before swine, let them not trample them with their feet and turn around to tear you apart. We must not behave in such a way as to cause blasphemy. It is better for us to pray in another place, to hide our prayer, not because we are ashamed, but in order not to give rise to blasphemy.

Besides, if we pray and are laughed at, then what kind of prayer is that? If it is not possible to pray openly, then it is better to pray in church or on the road. If it is not possible to read from the prayer book, because loved ones scoff and blaspheme, then it is better to read the Jesus Prayer to yourself for a while or some other prayer that we know by heart. Some memorize morning and evening prayers.

In general, it is better to avoid such people if possible. If my friend constantly blasphemes my most sacred feelings, then why do I need such a friend? This means that he does not understand me, does not appreciate me, despises me in my deepest manifestations.

Self-reproach is difficult to maintain. First of all, you need to pray. The Jesus Prayer itself, in a sense, is self-reproach and forcing oneself to humility. If we say constantly during the day: “Have mercy on me, a sinner” or “a sinner,” then in this way we force ourselves to remember our sinfulness, accustom ourselves to a humble opinion of ourselves. But most importantly, we need to remember that self-reproach, repentance is a spiritual fruit, it is an act of grace. If there is no grace, then no matter how we refine ourselves, no matter what we say to ourselves, no matter how we persuade ourselves, there will be no sincere self-reproach. That is, most of all, you need to rely on God and therefore pray unceasingly.

One of my friends in life somehow does not stick, nothing works out, constant temptations and misfortunes. She thinks she's been corrupted. Could it really be?

Witchcraft, of course, exists, this cannot be denied. In our terrible time, the doctrine of black and white magic is spreading, books are sold completely freely - everyone can buy Black Magic.

To be honest, I don't really understand this. I cannot distinguish spoilage from an ordinary illness, except for obvious cases of demonic possession. To do this, you need to go to the spiritual elders and ask them. But very often people who want to blame everything on others talk about damage. To dump from a sick head on a healthy one. A person does not think that he has sins, that he prays badly, confesses badly, takes communion unworthily. He does not want to see his fault in anything, but writes everything off as damage. "Why do you pray badly?" - "I've been spoiled." "Why don't you fast?" - "I'm bewitched." "Why do you smoke?" - "Jinxed me!" So you look - well, they bewitched a person, he is not to blame for anything.

And in order to determine that this is damage, you must first show spiritual zeal yourself, and then it will be revealed whether an outside force is acting or it was just our negligence. In addition, damage can be expelled by one's own efforts, that is, by prayer, fasting or confession, communion. We must resort to the most common church means. First of all, to the sacraments, prayers. The Church gives us all means, very powerful ones, if only we use them ourselves.