Healthy and full sleep of the baby is the most important factor in its development. For good sleep it is necessary to create comfortable conditions that parents should take care of. The most complete and correct sleep of a newborn is in his crib, but what if your child falls asleep only in his arms?
Reasons for baby sleeping in arms
There are several reasons for anxiety in children. If a child has colic or irritability, then he is looking for protection, of course, in his mother's arms.
On the one hand, nipples and pacifiers are easier to sterilize than children's hands; in constant contact with pollutants. On the other hand, the surface of the fingers is more difficult than conventional latex or silicone nipples, which increases the risk of damage to the oral mucosa or the finger itself.
Also, regarding the dentition, although the nipple-papilla is associated mainly with the development of the posterior crossbite; a problem that can often be reversed by discontinuing use, finger tricking causes many other problems in teeth alignment. In addition to the favorable open bite, the pressure exerted by little when sucking one's own thumb affects the excessive elevation of the roof of the palate, while it gradually narrows the maxillary arcade. This deformity, which experts call the gothic taste, not only makes it difficult to chew and swallow food, but can also negatively affect the development of speech and pronunciation of the child.
Nature has laid a close and strong bond between mother and child, which draws them to each other. Close contact with the mother, especially in the first months of a baby's life, has great importance to shape the character of the newborn. It has been proven that children who were carried in their arms are more independent, successful and inquisitive at an older age. A child deprived of the caress of mother's hands may grow up timid, fearful, and withdrawn. Now your baby needs you. It will take quite a bit of time, he will grow up and will no longer need you so much.
In fact, these changes do not return spontaneously and usually require the intervention of a pediatric dentist sooner or later. On the other hand, experts point out that, in the end, this habit is much harder to control and eradicate when the time is right than throwing the pacifier in the trash.
While sometimes it's a challenge to figure out how we can get it, others instead care about why they sleep so much. During pregnancy 10 we see my baby move a lot while he sleeps, why? All babies usually move around a bit when they sleep and are actually sure that when you wake them up from their crib you will find that they may be crossing over or in a different position to which it is customary; This is normal, although sometimes we can find the case of children who move too much, who kick, who even seem to get up and do not stop moving their arms and even make noise with their mouths.
If, without any serious reason, the child does not get away with it, then this can already be called a habit. Sometimes this is facilitated by the family environment - negative emotions, extraneous noise, uncomfortable room temperature. Parents and those around them should help to create a favorable and calm environment for the baby.
Yes, it is true that there are children who, from the first month or 40 days, begin to move very much at night while they sleep, and in most cases all this happens because they have gases. 
We can also say that the vast majority of babies suffering from what is known as "baby colic" or simply colic, and this leads to the fact that at night not only hurts the stomach, but also feels discomfort and therefore problems before going to bed without movement.
The habit of falling asleep only in your arms should be gradually eliminated. The baby must learn to be in his own space, and the mother must have her hands untied for doing household chores. Being in the crib develops patience, self-confidence and independence in the baby.
Child psychologists are sure that following a certain ritual contributes to a normal and restful sleep. It is necessary to accustom the baby to this from the first days. Bathing with the addition of chamomile, lavender or valerian is suitable for this. After that, give the child a relaxing massage with light stroking movements. Rock it, tell a story or sing a lullaby. Do this every day and at the same time. Gradually, the baby will have the feeling that everything is in order and is going right. The baby's sleep will become timely and calm.
You may also notice that your baby kicks during sleep, and this is usually due to the baby's lack of rest. Younger babies need more more sleep. This means that your child will need at least twice a day. Some babies may snooze for as little as 20 minutes straight, while others take naps for an hour or more. If your child has been napping for too long, they may disturb their sleep at night, making them irritable and restless. Thus, the little one can kick and move all the time, resisting falling into deep sleep.
Breaking the habit of falling asleep in your arms is not easy, no matter the cause. For the first time, you can use the design for carrying the baby - a sling. The baby will be next to the mother, while she can safely go about her business. This can be used as a temporary measure from the transition from hands to the crib.
Night terrors are like nightmares and usually happen in the first two to three hours of sleep, but unlike bad sleep, which can wake up your baby when you have night terrors, you tend to move your body and legs. The best part is that when you wake up, babies or toddlers usually don't remember that they had night terrors.
Children's sleep rituals
Just as adults have rituals during the night before bed, such as drinking something hot and brushing their teeth, even children who are babies also need a routine. Your baby will not be able to sleep soundly if he feels hungry or has cramps, or if he needs a diaper change. He may cry and drink while he sleeps due to the discomfort. That's why we recommend a regular routine that includes bedtime meals, a warm bath, clean diapers, and gentle rocking before putting your baby to bed.
The reason for restless sleep and the desire to calm down in your arms may be due to increased arousal the day before. To solve this problem, follow some rules:
- do not allow excessive overexcitation of the child;
- when the baby is awake, let him more care and feelings of calmness;
- practice co-sleeping (lower the side of the crib and move it close to you)
Babies are used to moving a lot when they are in their mother's belly, and if they have a few weeks or months of life, we will understand how they can lie down in position and wake up completely turned or sideways. Perhaps because they move the way they do when they are inside the mother, or simply because they do not find a comfortable posture because their mattress is too soft. Make sure your baby sleeps on the mattress hard enough so that his back doesn't sink, doesn't allow him to wake up, move around and, above all, that his column doesn't deform.
Personal experience of parents
The topic of falling asleep in your arms is actively discussed on forums on the Internet and in social networks.
Victoria Sergeevna advises putting the baby first in the stroller, and then shifting to the crib. The stroller is well rocked and soothes the baby. She also recommends feeding the baby in the crib and changing clothes there, so that after that he falls asleep peacefully.
When a child falls asleep, he goes into a rather deep phase, but this does not mean that if you hear noise, such as appliances or near lights, you feel restless and moving. You may even cry in the middle of your sleep. Make sure your child doesn't get too many noises or avoid those that are louder while you sleep, and don't leave direct lights on.
If the reason why the baby moves so much is colic, it is better that the last milk intake of the night is given at least an hour before bedtime. This way you can digest before falling asleep and you will get a much better rest. It is also recommended to burp the baby, putting him on his shoulder with his stomach and gently stroking his back with his hand.
Svetlana Kutlugildina says that the baby calms down in the crib if he is dressed warmer and a diaper is placed on his chest.
Marina Gold advises to buy a vibrating chair for the baby.
Marina Rubtsova , sharing his experience, believes that there is only one way out - to put the baby with him in bed.
Victoria Bogdanova I used a sling to solve the problem.
On the other hand, if the reason is that they are daydreaming or scared of the dark or something they have dreamed about, it is better to relax them with a gentle massage. Sometimes it helps to get them to sleep with little light so we can leave them in the crib and sleep peacefully.
Another reason could be that you feel uncomfortable in the crib or are actually too flat, so perhaps placing a pillow on top of this so you get some sleep will help you rest better. We have already seen what should and how to treat your child to move at night, but if you want to know more about how to sleep babies.
Olga did nothing and continued to carry it in her arms until the child himself weaned himself. Household chores asked to help relatives. The child grew up calm and sociable
The birth of a child is one of the happiest events in the life of any family. But after the birth of a baby, new parents have many new worries. Modern inventions of mankind, such as diapers, nightlights, bathing circles, disposable diapers and bibs, washing machines, etc., help to cope with some of these troubles. But in some moments, everything lies only with the parents, mainly with the young mother.
My daughter was so sleepy that we had to change her diaper so she could wake up and feed every two hours as advised by her pediatrician. But over time, babies sleep less and change their behavior. According to the book The First Year of Your Baby Month by Month - What to Expect and How to Care for Your Baby by the End of the Sixth Month, they can only nap twice a day, sleeping a total of 14 hours a day. Already at the end of her first birthday, the baby can take just one day of naps, which will strengthen sleep at night.
According to the publication, after 12 months, most babies wake up at night but go back to sleep without any help. Unfortunately, it's still none of my business. Manuela, who is 1 year old, just falls asleep after suckling and breastfeeds my pacifier. And guess what she asks at dawn to fall asleep again? After making a decision to change, she says, one must remain firm in this attempt, otherwise the child may be confused by what is expected of her. Clarissa is also the mother of four children and is in charge of the child psychoanalysis course of the Psychoanalytic Association of Curitiba.
From the first days of a baby’s life, his mother has to take care, first of all, of establishing sleep and breast-feeding. And this is where some moms have a problem. The baby is ready to sleep only on the arms of his mother.
In fact, there is nothing abnormal in this state of affairs. For nine months, the baby was one with his mother. Therefore, it is only natural that he should now again strive by all means to achieve the same unity. Some of the children have such a need more, someone a little less.
In the interview below, the psychologist tells readers of the mothering practice how parents can try to change this habit. When a baby falls asleep only with its mother's beak in its mouth, what can parents do to change this habit? First, the mother must be convinced that this is a habit, so it is not necessary that the child cannot run out. Perhaps in this relationship between mother and child there was some kind of housing, a tacit agreement between them, which allowed this arrangement to remain until now.
Every woman, faced with a child, must necessarily learn to be a mother, she will have to have this new role, unheard of in her life, and face all the aspects and personal difficulties that this function will require, And for this she will use her knowledge of how to be a mother, as well as family advice, what she observed with friends, what her pediatrician tells her, and gradually she experiments in this important place in the process of forming a new being completely dependent on him.
Myths about babies sleeping in their arms
Although the desire of a child to be closer to the mother is the norm, many mothers were very worried about this. Moreover, mothers have to worry not so much because of the situation itself, when the child sleeps only in her arms, but because of a lack of understanding that this is how it should be, and also because of the wrong attitude of others to this state of affairs.
Each of them will be a different mother and will deal with your child differently, according to their own mental abilities and their emotional state in this new role. In case the breast is used as a pacifier, if it even worked for a while, great. The problem is, she can't be like this forever, so the mother starts to worry about this "original arrangement" and looks for a way to resolve the situation.
So how to solve this situation? The first step is for the mother to be calm, and for this she must be convinced that this is a useful act for the child and his subjectivity. Many mothers get very distressed while crying and revert to their decision to change this habit of making a pacifier a pacifier. Once the decision has been made, the mother must remain firm in her not to confuse the child with what is expected of her. In this situation, it is easier to offer the same pacifier. And if she really doesn't want to, after countless and loving attempts, it's even better to be firm and just breastfeed when it's time to breastfeed.
Indeed, in modern society There are many misconceptions about how to properly handle babies. These misconceptions were formed in the heyday of feminism, when women sought to break out of the house. Breastfeeding, self-raising children, responding to every need of newborns have become unfashionable. Wars and instability also contributed in the first half of the twentieth century. Women had to do hard men's work, and no one did discounts for the presence of infants. It was then that a nursery appeared, where children were taken from the age of two months. In addition, children began to be accustomed to the regime from infancy, so that they could do without their mother. Since then, all deviations from strict regime moments were considered abnormal. In particular, the attitude to the organization of children's sleep has changed.
"Usually, if the mother is comfortable and confident that it's good for their baby, things are more relaxed." Children tend to be very curious and love new experiences. This is what is observed during the weaning process, for example, when it is gradually replaced breast milk, baby milk, etc. Breastfeeding at the breast is gradually reduced with the inclusion of solid foods and fruits until the baby is no longer needed to breastfeed. Usually, if the mother is comfortable and confident that this is good for their baby, things will work out in a more relaxed way.
But when the baby does not like the pacifier, what to do? Some babies will accept a pacifier; Others don't. It is important to look for other ways to soothe the baby other than just beaking the chest. This is an experience of separation that, although a little painful for mother and child, is necessary and part of the process of growth and development. The child needs these punctual abbreviations because they are part of his subjectivity. This is what will allow the child to move from one phase of development to another, then. And if the mother does not allow or help the child in this, even if unconsciously, he cannot become an object located in the place of the mother object, which is detrimental to the future subjective development of the child.
Here is a list of the main myths associated with falling asleep children:
- sleeps on the handles because my mother taught. This is a fundamentally wrong statement. The need to be with mother in children of the first year of life is as strong as the need for food and sleep. It’s just that some babies need a little less time to be in contact, while others need a little more. And mom in this case not guilty. Indeed, often in the same woman, different children require a different amount of attention;
- If you don’t wean it right away, then you will sleep in your arms all your life. This is completely absurd to hear. Indeed, in reality, no one can give an example that an adult child of school age, for example, would fall asleep only with motion sickness on his arms;
- children who are not let off the hook grow up selfish and dependent. Many young mothers take this argument seriously. And in vain, because psychologists have long proved the opposite. AT early age mother's love is necessary for a child, like air. And the baby can only get confirmation of this love by being in close constant contact with his mother. In the event that such contact is absent or insufficient, the child does not receive enough love, which means that later he is forced to compensate for this lack, in every possible way demanding the lost attention to himself. Children who have had enough communication with their mother grow up confident that they are loved. That is why subsequently they are more easily separated from their mother as they grow up, they no longer need confirmation in maternal love. Incidentally, according to modern research psychologists, babies who were with their mother all the time in the first months of life become more calm and independent in the future;
- Mom will get tired and exhaust herself to the extreme. To some extent, this statement is true. But this happens only in those cases when a woman perceives her motherhood incorrectly, and besides, she remains without support from her closest ones. The thing is that in our society it is generally accepted that if a woman is only concerned with a baby, then this should not cancel the conscientious performance of many other functions and duties. It is not right. In the first months after the birth of the baby, a woman should devote most of her time to the little one. It is better not to do something around the house than to tear the child away from you, making him cry and make you nervous. It is desirable that relatives understand this and do not demand too much from the young mother. After all, it’s not communication with your beloved child that exhausts you, but homework and other work;
- if the child cries as soon as he is let go, then he is sick, and you need not to carry him on yourself, but to look for and eliminate the cause. This is also partly true. The fact is that even children who are not tame from birth soon face the problem of colic, teething and other troubles. And mother's closeness in this case makes it easier to endure all these misfortunes. Also, more often than others, those children who were born as a result of a complicated pregnancy or difficult childbirth require being in their arms. Therefore, parents, of course, need to make sure that the baby is healthy. But even absolutely healthy crumbs can be tame. It just needs to be accepted as a feature.
Life with a baby
Thus, for a newly-made mother, the actual question should not be how to wean sleeping in her arms, but how to adapt to life with a tame baby.
Of course, it's good to have someone to help. But, unfortunately, not every young mother has au pairs, a line of grandmothers ready to help, a loving husband who has a lot of free time and an arsenal of household appliances in the kitchen. Some mothers are forced to cope with all household issues alone. And there are those who are also forced to work with a child in their arms.
No matter how it looks at first glance, there is a way out in any situation. The main thing is to organize everything correctly.
Here are some tips to help you adjust:
If your baby needs to be rocked to fall asleep, try getting a rocking chair or a large exercise ball. So you will have the opportunity to relax even in the process of motion sickness of the baby.
Sleep with your baby in an embrace. Most babies are ready to sleep not only in their mother's arms, but just next to her. Take advantage of this to get some sleep too. You can also read a book, watch, listen to an audiobook, chat on the phone and even surf the Internet while the child is sleeping.
Try to wait until the baby falls asleep, and gently move away from him, and then leave altogether. Some moms do it.
Buy a sling. The child can be carried in it almost all day with short breaks. At the same time, your back will not get tired, and your hands will be free for any business. Do not be afraid that this will harm the baby. Carrying the baby in this way is not only safe, but also beneficial.
Try more or less free time spend not in, but dedicating it to yourself. Take a shower, drink tea, do or. Anything you can do with a baby in a sling, do it with your baby. Don't waste precious free minutes on this.
Gradually, you will have more and more free time. And dad or someone close to you will be able to replace you more often, and the baby will stay awake, playing with toys, longer, and sleep at least a little, but without you, he can last longer. And after just a few months, you yourself will ask the child to sit in your arms, and not run around the apartment or around the yard.
In the meantime, watch a video on how you can even dance with tame children: