Of course, we know that the people around us are all very, very different. Poor and rich, happy and not so much... Yes, and a bunch of all sorts of gradations... From the point of view of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), people differ in the type of thinking.
Each of us thinks with the help of various images. As we noted above, images (experiences) are divided into five categories - visual images, auditory images, kinesthetic images (sensations, smells and taste). And also on various combinations of these images. As an example, consider your last call at school. What comes to your mind? Smart classmates on the line in front of the school, or maybe the melody of the school waltz? People use all types of images, but they give the greatest preference to one. Note that many are not even aware of their mental activity - it lies outside their consciousness.
There is a certain relationship between the type of mental activity and the position of the interlocutor's eyes (which is why it is so important to look a person in the eyes when talking).
Looking up and to the right means what in this moment your interlocutor creates a visual image. Also, a defocused look testifies to thinking in visual images.
If the interlocutor looks to the left or right this indicates the creation of a sound image. Such a person hears and discusses his thoughts, talking to himself.
Man's gaze to the left and down should alert you. If your interlocutor is not lying, then he certainly subconsciously controls what he is talking about very well.
Well, the last type of thinking- Thinking in kinesthetic images is characterized by looking down and to the right. If you notice such a look from the interlocutor, then it is quite likely that at this very moment he recalls bodily sensations, such as pain, fear, cold, recalls various smells or tastes.
Clear, that not every glance expresses inner mental activity. People can just look at their feet or count money. For us, the most important thing is to determine exactly the view that indicates the formation of one or another image in the mind of a person.
So, a look can indicate exactly what images a person is thinking at a given moment. Now for some practice. Try to find among your acquaintances a person who often looks up and to the right when talking. This person literally describes to you the pictures that arise in his memory. Usually such people have such phrases as:
I looked at everything and thought
If you look at it from the other side
I see something more
In order to somehow influence the interlocutor one must “speak its language”, in other words, think not only in its categories, but also in images. (It seems to be so obvious, but notice how rarely we use this in our daily life).
Consequently, if we want to influence an interlocutor who uses mainly visual images, we must use the following phrases:
You can look at it from the other side...
Let's not lose sight of...
Just imagine…
Similar phrases can be selected for other types of interlocutors.
For auditory images This will:
Listen...
Just listen to how it sounds...
Sounds tempting...
For kinesthetics:
Feel it...
Let's get to the topic...
Now it's time to learn some special terms. The fact is that when reading more in-depth books on NLP, they are used without any explanation. From time to time I will make such "near-scientific" inserts for your subsequent deep understanding of the specific aspects of NLP. So, the division of people according to the type of reproduction of internal experience (visual, auditory and kinetic) is called division according to the modality of internal experience.
Any visual reproduction (eyes up and to the right)- visual modality.
Auditory images (eyes left and right)- auditory modality.
Feel– kinesthetic modality
Note that most competent bosses and informal leaders are visuals. Visually, it is much easier to control the present and predict the future.
People, whose main job is communication (for example, salespeople), mostly audials. A person of this type distinguishes the slightest changes in intonation in the interlocutor's voice, which in most cases can tell a lot more about a person than words.
Well, actually, kinesthetics. Kinesthetics have a very developed intuition, so they are excellent at solving various problems in various areas of life. They say that kinesthetics are wonderful lovers - after all, it is they who know how to listen not only to the sensations of their own body, but also to the sensations of the partner's body.
Let's start with the pupils. (Look into my eyes and you will see the truth)
Pupils dilate or constrict in certain lighting conditions. It all depends on the mood and brightness of the lighting. If a person is emotionally aroused, then his pupils become slightly more dilated than in the same light, in a calm state. The same thing happens when a person looks at something they like. Not just because they say "already eyes lit up." A person with dilated pupils looks the most attractive and bewitching. But if the pupils narrow, then aggression, anger and irritation increase in a person.
Raised eyebrows (sign, gesture - Hey, hello!)
Eyebrows rise when we notice a pleasant person next to us and we want him to notice us too. This is nothing more than a manifestation of interest. People who remain stone-faced and do not raise their eyebrows when greeting are regarded as aggressive, sympathy for them is much less. Know that if you raise your eyebrows, then the person will surely repeat your gesture and perhaps even smile in response.
Highly raised eyebrows (Gesture, sign - Hug me or submit)
Women with raised eyebrows and big eyes are considered submissive, therefore they are very popular with men. They want to be hugged and protected. In men, everything is different, the lower the eyebrows, the narrower the eyes. So men want to show their authority and seriousness. Recently, however, this look has also been used by women. And if the eyebrows are thick, bushy, then he is more aggressive than domineering and capable of subjugating himself.
An underhand look. (Gesture, sign - I'm playing with you)
If a woman's head is slightly tilted and she looks askance, then this is a signal of humility that men like so much. It gives its owners "childish naivety and purity of soul." Such a look awakens truly parental feelings. And if all this is complemented by a smile, then the effect is simply stunning. In a dispute, the interlocutor is likely to take the side of that person who looks cute and humbly from under his brows.
A sidelong glance can be viewed from two sides. If it is complemented by a flirtatious smile and a gleam in the eyes, then you are interesting to the interlocutor. Such a "languid" look is used by women during flirting. But if, in addition to looking at the face, there is a smile with lowered corners of the lips and frowning eyebrows, then the interlocutor is most likely hostile and it is better to hide from his field of vision.
Frequent blinking (Gesture, sign - Eye tick)
Typically, a person blinks about eight (8) times per minute. Has your interlocutor started blinking more diligently? No, he does not fall asleep and does not correct contact lenses (if the latter, then relax) Just in this way, blinking often, his brain wants to "throw out" your image from the subconscious. When a person starts blinking stubbornly, closing his eyes for 2-3 seconds, know that he is simply tired of communicating with you and cannot tell you about it in person due to embarrassment or for another reason. In this case, it is better and easier to find another interlocutor and continue communication with him.
Shifty eyes, eyes (Gesture, sign, look - Where is the way out ...)
Have you noticed that the eyes of your interlocutor began to run from side to side? Not no! He doesn't do eye exercises! He is looking for an escape route (or looking for a target if he is an intelligence agent). You tired him with your conversations or they are not interesting to him. Perhaps he will even try to smile with pursed lips in response, imitating interest, but know that most likely when you turn away, he will run away.
Social look (Glance, gesture, sign - Just talking with your eyes)
During normal communication, the interlocutor's eyes "draw" a triangular area affecting the eyes and nose. In this area, we focus on a simple situation that is safe for us. Such a look is not regarded as aggressive or hostile. This is how communication occurs between people of equal status and age. Effortless and easy.
Intimate look (Intimate "conversation" with the eyes)
Thanks to improved peripheral vision, women can discreetly look at a man, looking down anywhere. But men do not know how, they closely examine the object of their adoration. An intimate look "draws" a triangle between the eyes and its top is formed on the chest, and if people are at a distance, it passes from the eyes down to the inguinal region. The look is not hostile, it means that the person most likely wants something more from communicating with you.
Powerful look (powerful conversation with eyes)
The domineering gaze is concentrated in the triangle between the eyes of a person and "his mythological third eye" above the eyes along the bridge of the nose. Usually this view is used by authoritative, self-confident people. He carries the power and desire to suppress the interlocutor. People of soft nature are sometimes advised to use such a look to appear more serious, complementing it with lowered eyebrows and narrowed eyes. It is with this look that the interlocutor can interrupt a boring conversation.
Looks up - down, right - left.
Where do the eyes of the person sitting opposite look? The eyes are the mirror of the soul! If the eyes are directed upwards to the left, then the person is most likely trying to remember an image he saw earlier or what he once did. And if down to the right, then the emotions and feelings with which this or that action was performed are remembered. If it is directed to the left towards the ear, then the person remembers the melody or the sound he heard, and if he mysteriously looks down to the left, then an internal dialogue is being conducted. Such views do not last long, and pass almost instantly, the main thing is to catch them.
Head straight, head up.
A raised head is characteristic of people who participate in a conversation. This position is neutral, does not carry aggression or, on the contrary, deep indifference. A raised head may be complemented by small nods during a conversation, or a person may rub his chin, thinking about what was said or heard. In any case, you can be sure that the interlocutor is listening to you (unless he is frozen with an unblinking look, most likely he fell into a trance in this situation) If the chin is pushed forward and slightly up, and is accompanied by a kind of look down, then the person is arrogant And you should be more careful when talking with him.
Tilt the head to the side. Look with a tilt of the head.
The head tilted to one side is a symbol of submission. At this moment, a person wants to show that he is not a threat, because he opens his throat. Also, tilting to the side indicates an interest in the conversation. Often, in order to appear more attractive, women bow their heads in the presence of a man. Showing often to people your "defenseless" neck, you will be able to win them over.
The head is tilted forward. (Signal of disapproval, gesture of aggression)
Bulls always stick their horns forward when they are aggressive. A lowered head and a look from under his brows with eyebrows brought together and dilated nostrils, signals to others about the negative and aggressive mood of a person, he is ready to tear apart anyone who will not be favorable to him or will not be nice to him. You'd better wait for this. while a person straightens his head or at least tilts it to the side, otherwise any of your words can have the effect of a "red rag" and you can be "raised on the horns."
P.S. All of the above gestures, views and examples can only be used in context and are not an accurate indication of one or another decoding and understanding of the action. Remember, you should not judge only by one sign and interpret actions in your direction. Don't be prejudiced.
The most accurate visual way to determine lies is based on the movement of our eyes. They say that " eyes are the mirror of the soul”, or “only your eyes can tell the truth”, “eyes do not lie”.
Eye movement patterns are considered within the framework of his theory by Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Watching a person, it is easy to notice that his gaze throughout the conversation is directed in one direction or the other. Scientists associate eye movement with the process of human perception and identify three main channels through which people receive and process information:
visual channel. It is associated with visual images, everything that we see with our eyes;
audio channel. Associated with hearing, the sounds that we perceive;
kinesthetic channel. All information related to sensations, feelings, smells, tastes, experiences passes through it.
Each person has one of these channels, as a rule, is the leading one. Some of us live more with images, some with feelings, and some with stories and news and love with our ears! At the same time, each of us uses all systems as needed.
NLP Theory and Practice says:
- Eyes turned upwards give us figurative representations.
- Eyes walking along the horizontal axis help us perceive and reproduce speech and sounds.
- If the gaze is directed downwards, this is due to sensations or an internal monologue.
- At the same time: for right-handed people, the left side is an area associated with the past, the right side is associated with the future. Lefties are the complete opposite.
Look at the diagram. It shows the movement of the gaze and the corresponding channel of perception. 
- The gaze is directed upwards. It is difficult for a person in this position to think about anything (try it yourself). He probably just walks away from the conversation and does not want to delve into the topic. Is suspended
- VC. Looking up and to the right (from the side of the interlocutor). visual design. In this case, a person turns to the future or invents images.
- VV. Looking up and to the left - a person turns to the past, recalls some of his pictures (visual images). visual memory.
- AK. Looking horizontally to the right - constructing speech, inventing.
- AB. Looking horizontally to the left - a person in the past, he remembers speeches, words.
- Look down. Most likely, the interlocutor does not hear you. He completely went into his experiences.
- TO. A look to the right and down is an experience, a representation of oneself in the place of another;
- VD. Looking down to the left internal monologue or dialogue, as well as the recollection of one's own experiences.
Let's try. Find yourself an interlocutor who is ready to participate in your experiment. 
First determine whether he is right-handed or left-handed. It depends not only on the leading hand. A person can also be a hidden left-hander. To determine this, there are special neuro-psychological tests. But at the beginning of the conversation, you can simply ask Security Question, formulated for the answer "Yes", - the answer to which you know for sure. Observe the oculomotor reaction. It is the very first, perhaps even fleeting, movement of the eye that is important. If it is directed to the memory to the left-up, side or bottom, then your interlocutor is right-handed. And vice versa.
Or, "Ask him to imagine green pancakes topped with red sour cream." It is unlikely that he has ever seen such a product. And look at the movements of his eyes, where his eyes go more often when the image is being constructed. Note that for some moments the gaze can be directed towards the memories of images (for right-handed people it is up to the left), since a person, inventing a new one, always takes old memories, models, changing them.
Enter into any dialogue and look into the eyes of the interlocutor and you will easily understand what he is doing now:
Remembers or invents images of familiar people and events;
Recalls stories told and someone's speeches, or prepares to answer you, composing another phrase to himself;
Or perhaps your interlocutor has gone into his feelings, remembering the feelings he once experienced, or he is very worried about your current conversation.
Did you manage to catch the trajectory of your gaze? Then boldly look into the eyes of your interlocutors and learn further!
For right-handers: looks to the right-up, to the right-to the side - it means he composes.
For lefties, it's the other way around.
Important! When you look at the interlocutor, if he has a “right”, then you have a “left”!
In addition, it is worth remembering that lying is accompanied by negative feelings of shame and guilt. That is why, a person who cheats, most often, will avoid direct gaze in the eyes. However, he can choose the opposite tactic, look straight ahead without looking away. They say about such a case: “He is lying and does not blush!”
Then you need sharp vision, which will help you notice the contraction and expansion of the pupil. At the same time, if the pupil of a person narrows, then he directs his consciousness inward - to recollection, if it expands - then to the future, to construction, to fantasizing.
Remember that in order to state the fact of a lie (when you are not yet experienced enough), always pay attention to: posture, facial expressions, gestures, voice, etc.
Watch, try, learn and you will succeed!
It is welcomed and allowed to reprint and distribute the materials of the site, provided that their authorship is indicated and the text remains unchanged, if there is a link to our site . And the link must be working!
Eyes - a universal lie detector
The eyes are one of the most advanced lie detectors, by the movement of the eyeballs you can determine what a person is thinking at the moment, whether he is telling the truth or lying. People move their eyes to certain directions depending on what type of thinking is involved. Observation of the eyes is one of the simplest methods of obtaining information about a person’s thoughts and emotions.
Studies show that the pupil dilates by 45% if we like what we see, and conversely narrows if we don’t like it. It is also common for a person to squint his eyes when he experiences negative emotions. These eye reactions last about 1/8 of a second, but if you carefully observe them, you will definitely notice them. One variant of non-verbal cues involving the eyes is eye blocking. When a person, in response to visual or auditory information, covers his eyes with his hand, touches his eyelid, or simply closes his eyes for a split second, this indicates negative emotions from the information received. Even your own thoughts can cause such a reaction. It is worth noting that at the moment of stress, blinking of the eyes is learned. When a person experiences positive emotions, the eyes will be wide open, the eyebrows raised. Also, the expansion of the eyes is observed at the moment of surprise. Carefully study the photos in the gallery of emotions on the site. Determine which facial muscle groups are involved depending on the emotion.
Deciphering eye movements.
1.- Eye movement up to the left.
(Image-memory). When we visualize something from our experience: "What color is your car?" and along with the verbal response you will get the typical visual memory look up to the left.
"When did you last see this person?"
2. - Defocusing of the eyes.
The eyes are defocused, their position is fixed, the pupil is somewhat dilated. Visual images can be from memory or constructed.
3. - Movement of the eyes up to the right.
The constructed image. Visual representation of images, phenomena or objects that we have not seen before, or the representation of phenomena and objects not as we saw them before. "What will the cow look like?"
Auditory recall of those sounds that we have heard before. “What does your favorite song sound like? »
Hearing design. Auditory representation of sounds that we have never heard before. How does your dream song sound? How would your phone sound if you cover it with your hand?
6. Eye movement down to the left.
Internal conversation. This direction of the eyes also coincides with the function of speech control, when a person chooses the words he wants to pronounce. This direction of gaze can often be seen in an interpreter during an interpreting, in a student on a diploma defense in a person giving an interview.
7. - Eyes down to the right.
Sensation of emotions, tactile sensations, senses of movement, smell. "How do you feel when you feel angry?" “What do you feel when you play sports? “Remember how the burn bakes?” Important point in that it is impossible to construct sensations - we cannot imagine those feelings that we did not actually experience.
There is a typical eyeball movement pattern called "lie detector" direction of gaze from the visual structure (up to the right, horizontally to the right) to speech control (down to the left); in inner experience, this corresponds to such a sequence - first imagine, construct, how it could be, and then say only what corresponds to this, nothing more.
And now a couple of examples from life.
During the interrogation, the investigator asks the woman a question: What kind of relationship did you have with citizen “K”?
Answer: We were friends” – and looks down to the right. She goes into kinesthetic (sensory memories). Judging by the reaction of the eyes, namely the memories of sensations, we can conclude that the woman told a lie.
A similar situation: The husband returns from vacation, the wife asks: How did you rest? The husband replies: It was a bit boring and lowers his eyes to the right down. It goes into kinesthetic (sensory memories). It is too early to draw conclusions about lies, but we can say that he has something to remember.
Question: What happened at your meeting?
Answer: Nothing special, we talked and said goodbye. The eyes go to the left - up, while the pupils narrow. There really was a meeting, but the memories he evokes more negative emotions. It can be assumed that there was a quarrel at the meeting.
Research shows that information entering the human brain is distributed in the following way: 87 percent goes through the eyes, 9 percent through the ears, and 4 percent through the rest of the senses.
It turns out that the same thoughts of a person cause the same expression in the eyes. And if you learn the simple science of reading eyes, you can even read minds! So it is unlikely that anyone will disagree with the fact that this skill will certainly come in handy, and regardless of the situation: non-verbal conversation of the eyes can be very eloquent and can tell a lot about our thoughts and feelings.
Understanding what thoughts a person is focused on is simple. When we think about what we see, hear, and feel, we recreate those sights, sounds, and sensations within ourselves. That is, we experience the information again. Sometimes we are aware that we are doing it, sometimes we are not. But our gaze and the eye signals associated with it are directly related to the veracity of the information that we say out loud.
Studies in neurology have shown that the sequence of human eye movements reflects the strategy that he uses to extract any information. It has also been found that these rules apply worldwide (only residents of a small area in Spain have a different oculomotor reaction).
"I see"
So, if a person uses a visualization technique for thinking, then his eyes always rise to the upper corners. They won't be there forever, but there's a 100% chance your eye will slip there, even if only for a short while.
The angle of view also speaks volumes. If the person sitting opposite has moved his gaze from you to the right, this means that the person remembers some visual images, and if to the left, then he is most likely dreaming. When looking in the left corner, a person constructs in his imagination an image that he has never seen.
It is very easy to check this: ask, for example, if a person has seen the sea. From where the gaze is directed, you will know whether it was on it or not. If he answered: “How great it was there,” and at that time his eyes were in the left corner, he is deceiving you (as well as himself). Smile and send him to the sea.
Imagination of visual images will give a look directed straight ahead, but unfocused, "unseeing".
"I hear"
A person who uses auditory (sound) messages for thinking acts in the same way, only the eyes do not go to the corners, but to the sides. A look directed to the left side means the construction of sounds unfamiliar to him, to the right - speaks of the memory of what he heard.
"I feel"
Looking down is very verbose! If a person from time to time looks away to the lower right corner, this means that at this time he is talking about something to himself. The lower right side is an internal dialogue, moreover, an auditory one (spoken).
If the eyes are retracted to the lower left corner, this means an appeal to kinesthetic feelings (memories of tactile and motor sensations). This corner also includes thoughts about taste, smell.
black hole pupil
Pupil size can also be a reliable signal in the process of communication. Pupils can expand or contract not only in certain lighting, it also depends on the mood of the person. If a person is joyfully excited and pleasantly surprised, his pupils dilate (open look). If a person is negative, irritated or angry, his pupils narrow to the minimum size (a sharp look).
If a woman is in love with a man, then her pupils dilate when she looks at him, and he unmistakably recognizes this signal without even realizing it.
The pupils of babies and young children dilate in the presence of adults, as children subconsciously strive to attract attention and look most attractive.
gaze duration
Why do we feel comfortable with some people and uncomfortable with others? Why are some people ready to reveal all the secrets, while others seem untrustworthy to us? It all depends on how long they keep their eyes on us during the conversation.
If a person is dishonest or tries to hide important information, his gaze meets the gaze of the interlocutor for less than one third of the entire conversation. If eye contact lasts more than two-thirds of the conversation, this can mean one of two things: either your interlocutor finds you very interesting or attractive person(wherein
his pupils will dilate), or he is hostile to you (while his pupils will narrow).
If one person likes another, he will look at him often and for a long time. In other words, in order to set a good relationship, human eyes should meet for 60-70 percent of the entire conversation.
Nervous, shy person, whose gaze constantly darts and meets the gaze of the interlocutor for less than 30 percent of the time of the conversation, causes little confidence.
If the person we are talking to lowers their eyelids, this does not always mean fatigue, boredom or indifference. But man eludes us. By doing this, he can make it clear that the conversation is over.
"Geography" of the look
The area of the face or body of another person that you focus your eyes on can significantly affect the outcome of personal communication.
When you are conducting business negotiations, focus your eyes on the bridge of your partner's nose - and you will give the impression of a serious, responsible and reliable person.
If your gaze does not fall below the eye level of the interlocutor, you will be able to keep the conversation under control.
When demonstrating something, we use a pen (pointer), behind which the eye moves. If you no longer need the person to look in the same direction, raise the pen to the level of the interlocutor's eyes. If a person raises his head after you and meets your gaze, it means that he has learned everything that you tell him.
When the gaze of the interlocutor falls below eye level, a friendly atmosphere arises. During this kind of informal communication, the gaze is usually located between the eyes and mouth of the interlocutor.
During intimate communication, the gaze can slide over the face of the interlocutor, focus on the lips, fall on the chin and other parts of the body. Men and women use this look to show their interest in each other.
We are squinted by people who are either interested in us or hostile. This may be a signal of courtship (friendly mood) or a signal of suspicion and criticism.
Serious people tend to choose and weigh their words, control emotions and facial expressions, but a person is able to simultaneously monitor no more than two or three of all reactions born inside. Thanks to such a “leak of information” as a look, and if you have the appropriate knowledge and experience, it is possible to identify those feelings and aspirations that the interlocutor would prefer to hide.
The expression of the eyes is the key to a person's true thoughts. Attentive attitude to the interlocutor will allow you to find a common language much faster. And besides, it will increase your communication skills - and this is one of the main factors for a person's success in life.