“I was 14, and I just went to visit my father. I felt bad, everything hurt. I went to the bathroom in tears, swearing that they started right now, when I was away from my mother.

I called my stepmother and sister, and they laughed - I felt humiliated. My father asked what was the matter, I told him, and he just groaned (he thought that my menstruation had begun a long time ago).

They made me a very hot bath, I lay there for half an hour, and when I decided to go out, I lost consciousness due to the temperature difference. I woke up on the floor, with a huge bruise on the pope, and everything around was stained with blood.

2. Blood on the face

“My mother smeared blood on my face, saying that this is the best remedy for acne. Then she and her friends continued to drink, and I still sometimes feel like that humiliated 12-year-old girl.”

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3. I tried to insert a tampon into the urethra

“It so happened that no one explained to me what menstruation is, when and why it happens. Plus, I missed that class at school where they taught about it in biology.

On the morning of my 13th birthday, I woke up and saw blood on the sheet. I went to the toilet, dried myself - and there are more of her. In horror, I ran to my mother, and she blushed, gave me a tampon and said that now I can ride on a white saddle.

I do not understand! I tried to insert a tampon into the urethra, nothing came of it, I called my mother again. She got angry and slammed the door, and I sobbed. Then she brought me a pack of pads.

Later, I read about all this on the Internet and found out that I had become a woman. Thanks to the internet!

4. I was 3000 kilometers from home

“They started when I went on a long journey with friends of my parents. Previously, their son traveled with us, now it's the other way around. The first menstruation stained my pants, everyone noticed it, but we lived in a campsite and no one could help. All three days I was saved by toilet paper. Not a very good experience."

5. I jerked my head and burst into tears

“I was ready for their appearance, I read a bunch of literature. I grew up early, but the critical days never came, although my chest grew and my armpits had to be shaved.

And yet they started at the wrong time. We just had exams, and during one of them I felt that my jeans were wet. She asked permission to leave. I saw blood in the toilet and, although I knew everything and was not afraid of blood, I jerked my head and burst into tears. At that moment, a classmate entered the toilet, saw me and laughed. Of course, the whole school knew when everything started for me!”

Yesterday, a parade of the LGBT Association was held in Riga. With the first three letters of this abbreviation, in principle, most of us are familiar. But the last letter - "T" (transsexuals) - is a rare case ... Firstly, it's just rare. And secondly, they rarely get in touch with the press...

"Marina" is a conventional name. The photo is also not published for obvious reasons. But she will answer the questions of the club members.

Reference: Transsexuals are people whose gender identity does not match their physical gender. According to statistics, the number of suicides among transsexuals reaches 40%. Gender reassignment is a long-term preparation, a complex and expensive operation.

Marina is the son of a military man. More precisely, the former son. In 2006, she underwent sex reassignment surgery, becoming a woman from a man. Such a transformation has its own category: MtF - a transsexual who changed gender from male to female. Marina has two children, one of which is genetically her own, who was conceived when she was in a male body. The second is the child of a woman with whom she has an official marriage. whom she married while still a man. According to the documents, they are an officially registered same-sex family.

Marina realized her problem quite early, at the age of 10 ...

I did taekwondo for seven years, hung out on the street. After all, if you want to become a girl, being in the body of a boy, you start to look cooler than the rest of the guys - you are actively involved in sports, you go to a military school. In an attempt to throw bad thoughts out of your head, you begin to fight with yourself. Then, in the period of 18-20 years, the moment of acceptance began. Because it got to the point that you were sitting at work, and the thoughts “everything about this and that”, some kind of literally paralyzing state. It really makes it difficult to just focus on even the most mundane everyday issues. Many at this stage jump out of the window.

When I decided to have a sex change operation, I wrote a letter to work - I then worked in the field of information technology. Received an answer: we do not care about this topic, if necessary - change sex! They only said to warn the accounting department when it would be necessary to send money to a new name ...

After 6 years, according to Marina, she maintains excellent relations with many colleagues from previous jobs.

Former colleagues-acquaintances learn?

There is a well-known IT company in Riga, where I worked as a man, but where I had to leave (the year of sex change is “fun enough”, and it is better to spend it at home). Two years later, which I worked remotely (for the Americans), I was again invited to work. There were several colleagues that I worked with while in a male body. Then we worked together for another two years ... And they never found out that I was the one ...

But still there are those who know ... How do they feel?

In principle, everyone who is aware of my situation is quite simple about this. For example, one colleague from a previous job calls me - so and so, you need to “make a website”. I tell him my story. He: “How interesting! But a website needs to be made. Well, come on, I say, let's do it!

Is everyone so tolerant?

I'll give an example. I have friends who are members of the New Generation Church. They go to anti-prides, with might and main cover that “all this is not from God” and so on ... At the same time, we greet them very well, we can sit somewhere, periodically exchange children's clothes. Here, as in politics: when a person is in the crowd, he is in the crowd, and when he is in person, one on one, then there are no stereotypical problems in communication.

With relatives, of course, there were still those problems. Constantly on “he”, then on “she”. But over the course of three years, it settled down. With parents it was easier, with a brother it was more difficult. My brother, an officer, then served in prison, was afraid of problems in relations with the wards. Through the Internet, I found in Russia some kind of prison authority who had served many years in prison, and asked him a direct question. He said: no problem, it's not your brother who changed the sex. He is not responsible for you. I printed it out and took it to my brother.

I wonder how the convicts could find out?

Those who are sitting know everything very well about everyone. If they want to know something about someone, they will find out.

What period was the hardest to go through?

The most difficult period was the period of deception. To my inner dissatisfaction with myself, I began to lie. It was very embarrassing. If I knew that I would go to the end, I would not start a family - why do people, in fact, soar the brain? I thought things would be different. But more or less, without much loss, I got out of the situation.

The transition was not easy. Hormone therapy changes the distribution of body fat. Everyone constantly paid attention to me: long hair, dressed like a guy, some kind of female breasts are visible. Seven years passed from the first pill to the operation. I fooled the family for a long time, saying that this was some kind of internal disorder.

How did the child take it?

My daughter was still at an age when it was still possible to tell a fairy tale about a prince who turned into a princess.

Did your daughter tell this story to anyone on the side?

Told! But I have no right to put pressure on the child. Over time, I decided that let it go the way it goes. Well, if you think about it, the child will tell, mommies-grandmothers around will start to whine. And what are they talking about? That she supports a family? Raises two children? What a bastard! I’m not a freak, I’m not an alcoholic, I don’t go to shoot packs of men. To be honest, there is not much to discuss. I lead an honest, respectable lifestyle, guests come, I have good friends. Although to the fact that the story of the transformation of the pope into a "princess" will crawl out indefinitely. I'm ready. What to do about it? What happened, happened.

How did your wife take it?

We lived like hell for a couple of years. But over time, things calmed down.

- But still lived in hell for two years?

Naturally, we fought. There was no “come on, honey, go, change yourself whatever you want.” We went to get divorced a couple of times, however, we didn’t get there - we were too lazy to get to the city. Now there are many points of distraction - family, children. We run a joint business. Not more. Any emotional things? I don't even know what to say about this. It is difficult to say something about this.

Most transgender people who have gone through a gender reassignment procedure hide their past. The attitude in this case is: “You had an illness. Now there is no. Why tell everyone about your illness?

After all, there are women who cannot give birth. And how are they technically different from transsexuals? Even gynecologists do not distinguish! It depends, of course, which surgeon you get to - if the operation is done well, you can’t tell. If a man is some kind of cunnilingus specialist, he may notice some difference. If you're not an expert, you won't notice.

- Are you a believer?

Agnostic. But my parents would like to baptize me. I don't think I did anything wrong. If I go to confession, it will be difficult for me to find a vile thing worth repenting of. I didn't do anything wrong to anyone.

- What do you think about gay marriages, are they needed?

Why is everyone jumping up and down about gay marriage? Okay, let's call it relationship registration. I know a lot of same-sex pensioners who live together. In their life they never thought to sleep with each other and engage in some kind of "sodom and gomorrah"! But they support each other, live. In fact, this is a family, a partnership.

Allow it - and everyone who wants to register such a relationship will join there. If the state believes that homosexuality brings some kind of debauchery, unstable relationships, then registering the relationship will contribute to the permanence of the relationship. From this point of view, it is beneficial to the state.

- In terms of close relationships, who attracts you more - women or men?

I can easily start a relationship with both a man and a woman. I tried with men both before and after surgery. After - it was much better! But life with a man does not appeal to me. I was a man, I understand men very well, what drives them. For me they are an open book.

Plus - I have an extremely high standard of requirements for a man. He must be smarter than me, and those are hard to find! There is a certain set of qualities in men that I respect. For me, this is such a “sea captain” - a person who can lead me. Maybe I'll find one more.

- And what about the wife?

She doesn't rule it out either! She can do anything too! We have freedom in this regard. And when there is freedom, you always think whether to use it or not. Now, if something were banned, then, of course, I would like to. The Forbidden fruit is sweet. And here - please, as much as you like. The most interesting thing is that when you say: "Please, as much as you like" - then "as much as you like" does not happen.

Once upon a time, the Wachowski brothers, who are known as the creators of the films "The Matrix" and "Cloud Atlas", were named Lawrence (50) and Andrew (48), but who would have thought that by now these two famous men will become women! First, Lawrence Wachowski came into view - information about his transgenderness was published in various publications since the early 2000s, because at social events a man began to appear in women's clothes, introducing himself as Lana Wachowski. It turned out that the director really began to take female hormones and prepare for a sex change operation ... I must say that initially no one expected such a turn, because Lawrence has been married to his school love Thea Bloom since 1993 and is happy in his personal life. But in 2002, they divorced - Thea left her husband because of his betrayal with a transsexual and owner of a BDSM club, Karin Winslow (aka dominatrix Ilsa Strix), with whom Lana later connected her life.

Lawrence, who turned into Lana, found harmony, becoming a woman

The real coming out of the Wachowskis took place only in 2012 - the man officially turned from Lawrence to Lana and thus became the first openly transgender person among the major Hollywood directors. In fact, it all started as a child: “When I was transferred from a regular public school, where I played mainly with girls, went in jeans and with long hair, to a Catholic school, where girls had to wear skirts, I was immediately told that I have to cut my hair. I had to somehow exist among the guys: play with them, hang out. But the matter took on a serious scale much later. For a long time, Lana could not even pronounce the words "transgender" and "transsexual", but when she finally admitted this to herself, she realized that she needed to tell her parents, brother and sisters about it. “It terrified me so much that I didn’t sleep for several days,” the director admits. Lana decided to start with her mother. She plucked up her courage and said, "I'm a transgender, I'm a girl." Lynn Wachowski was shocked by what her son said, but nevertheless accepted his decision - the same was done by father Ron, as well as brother Andy. Lana took such a desperate step for a simple reason - she hated her body and thought about death every day. In the mornings, Wachowski went swimming and only dreamed of being eaten by a shark or drowned by a boat...

In 2012, Andy, unlike his sister, was still a man, but even then he had a plan for a grand reincarnation...

Only now Lana began to live a happy and, most importantly, harmonious life: “I know many are dying of curiosity whether I have a surgically constructed vagina or not, but let it remain between me and my wife. I changed my appearance so that it is more in line with my inner world.

In 2016, Andy followed suit and turned into Lilly. A few months ago, Andy officially recognized the sex change and appeared before the public in a new look. It was not easy for him to decide on a coming out - Lilly had to reveal all the cards, because she received threats from the Western media, who intended to tell her secret themselves. “My sister Lana and I try to avoid talking to the press. In my opinion, talking about our work is a very tedious task, and talking about myself is completely humiliating. But in this situation, I understood that I would not get anywhere from a public statement. You know, when you live as a transsexual, it's very difficult to hide from others. It just took me a while to find myself. Yes, I am transgender and have changed gender.” Lilly received the support of her family, so she admitted that when there is support and money for the services of doctors, it is much easier to survive a sex change ... “Transsexuals without support, money and privileges do not have such an opportunity. Many of them do not survive. I know that in 2015 the suicide rate among transgender people was at an all-time high.”

A few months ago, Andy officially admitted that he became Lilly

After a perfect confession, Lilly is in no hurry to talk about how she lives now. It appears that the Wachowskis are still married to actress Alice Blessingame, whom he married back in 1991. In one of the interviews, Lilly admitted that she completely accepted her choice.

From Andrea to Andrea

In July 2014, Pejic came out as a transgender woman. He stated that he underwent gender reassignment procedures and asked to address him in the feminine gender and call him Andrea

I hope that openness on this issue will help make it less problematic, ”said the model in the very first interview after the incident. It turned out that Andrea had always dreamed of being a girl - as a boy, she twirled in her mother's dress and imagined herself as a ballerina. But after the family emigrated to Australia, the brother and the boys at school made Andrei understand that it was better to hide his inclinations. Pejic tried to participate in team games and spend time like all the other boys. But he did it with difficulty. “I kept my dreams and my imagination to myself and got pretty good at being a boy. But I hid my true essence, ”Andrea recalls past feelings. For the first time, Pejic read about gender reassignment at the age of 13, when he went to the school library and surfed the Internet. To stop the hormonal changes associated with growing up, Pejic began taking puberty blockers. But the future star's plans were put on hold when, at the age of 17, he was found by a modeling agent. “It was an opportunity to see the world and get some financial stability,” Pejic explained. But then the former state of discomfort still took its toll. In 2012, Andrey made a reassessment of values. “I was proud of my gender-defying career, but my biggest dream was to live in harmony with my own body. I have to be honest with myself, and my career will have to adapt to this, ”Pejic concluded.

Now Andrea has all the signs of belonging to the female sex

A few months after the operation, Andrea wanted to release a documentary about her reincarnation. She decided to show the whole process in order to help those who are experiencing similar pain. For Pejic it was an interesting and very positive experience, despite the difficulties that had to be faced. "It's a complicated process, it's not a fairy tale," she said, adding that the operation does not solve all problems. “It's part of your body and your identity. But it's wonderful when you can live and look the way you feel after putting yourself down for so long."

Previously, Pejic appeared on the covers of magazines in both male and female images, and sometimes both at once.

After turning into a woman, Pejic was predicted to be forgotten, but she proved that she could be successful in a new body. She signed contracts with many companies and became even more in demand and popular than she was. “I was told that I would stop being special, that the fashion industry is full of pretty girls,” Pejic recalled. In one of the modeling agencies, she was bluntly told that "it is better to be an androgyne than a transwoman." However, these times have passed, and since then Andrea has even managed to get the proud title of model of the year. But despite this, Andrea believes that transgender people still have to fight for their rights, because the struggle of trans people or African Americans for their rights is different from the fight against wars and refugee issues.

The young man Andrey had to go through many operations and procedures in order to fulfill his dream.

Rising transgender star from Canada

Experts say that another star will soon appear in the modeling business - this is still an unknown Canadian girl Siobhan Atwell (22), who recently became a woman. Siobhan knew she wanted to be different when she was Seth at school - she always dressed the way she wanted to, so she didn't pay attention to the negative comments. The future girl knew that someday she would get out of her small town - the province of Nova Scotia - so she had to live her life. “I was called names and it was sometimes difficult for me, but I had friends. I was luckier than other people. I was the only child in the city that was different. But I felt fine, I never felt in danger.”

Siobhan decided to become a model at the age of 15 when she watched America's Next Top Model, but her career only started two years ago, when she was still physically a man, posing in both female and male images. But last month she publicly announced that she finally decided to become a woman, realizing that she was more comfortable. "Things started to change when I thought about all this. I felt more comfortable being a woman and began to refer to myself as 'she.'" Siobhan spent a year of check-ups and doctor visits before making a fateful decision.Thankfully, she has the support of family and friends, she also receives support from fans and hopes that her career will only develop.

Siobhan could portray any image - both male and female

Speaking of women who inspire Siobhan, she mentions Paris Hilton, as well as Canadian blogger Gigi Gorgeous, who also had a gender change. “I heard about her even before her sex change. Her positive attitude and beauty, her personality is how happy she became after her sex change... Siobhan followed the changes of Gigi Gorgeous, and it inspired her to her own “journey”, to find herself.

Last month, Siobhan Atwell publicly announced that she had finally decided to become a woman, realizing that she was more comfortable that way.

Atwell doesn't like it when her rights are infringed upon, and states that people like her should not be labeled "transgender" at all. “I believe that we have already reached the point where the words “transsexual” and “transgender” should not be stigmatized. We should just be men and women. I love being introduced as a woman, but I'm also not going to hide the fact that I'm trans," the model said. Siobhan also advised all those who doubt their gender not to rush into a decision, but to carefully consider everything and enlist the support of loved ones. Atwell does not compare himself to his peers, because he believes that everyone has their own story, and she, too, can bring something of her own.

Atwell's reincarnation was extremely successful! Looking at her and the thought does not arise that this is a former man

“My story is that I belong to a small part of the world. Here, everything is not very possible for everyone. But I wanted something more. I have worked hard, and other people can do the same - even if you overstep the bounds. When it comes to transgender models, the general idea is the same for everyone, but they all have different backgrounds and backgrounds.” Siobhan believes that in the future, people should forget about such a category as "transgender model" - Atwell wants to be talked about as a female model. However, Siobhan does not deny that as long as such a category exists, because it will prove that transgender people can be models, they can do whatever they want and be successful. Right now, Siobhan's goal is to become a model for a major campaign. She dreams of shooting for Steven Klein, working with Givenchy or Marc Jacobs. The model feels that she is literally made for this, so she thinks positively and patiently waits in the wings.

Siwon Joins Modeling Agency State Management - She Dreams of One Day Being the Face of a Major Brand

They don't like them in Azerbaijan

The story of a transgender named Agnes Landau began in Azerbaijan and continued in Lithuania. The man, who was once called Raul Mammadli, moved to Vilnius in 2011 to study, and since then his, or rather her, life has been going on there. The fact that Raul is a girl by nature, he realized early. The boy told his mother that he liked to wear earrings, grow his hair, get tattoos. Then my mother did not understand and said that one had to be a man, but Raul could not ... “When I was 16 years old, I told my mother that I like boys. She became very uncomfortable. She even wanted to take me to the doctor…” And although Raul wanted to change sex, he was very afraid of the operation. It seemed to him that it was unnatural that a girl would never turn out of a boy. “But after I studied this issue in detail, it became clear to me that for modern medicine this is not a problem at all. The operation was successful, and it became clear to me that a lot depends on the person himself. If you take care of yourself, your nutrition and health, then everything will work out. In 2015, I also had nose and chest surgeries. And also successfully,” says Agnes.

Agnes was a guest of Riga Fashion Week last year

As for moving to Lithuania, everything turned out quite spontaneously: it was all the fault of my studies. “In 2011, I entered an Azerbaijani university, gaining 500 points. At home they were unhappy, they said that I should have scored more than 600 points. At that very time, I learned that exams were being held at the Lithuanian embassy in Baku. I had to write an essay and pass an English exam. I passed the exam with the best score and was asked to choose a university. As a result, I chose the university in Vilnius, where education was free. True, after a year I abandoned my studies, ”said Raul. At the same time, he managed to work in a beauty salon, where they were satisfied with him, then studied for a year as a cook, but then gave up on that as well. Now the ex-man earns money on television - he acts in commercials, and also works as a hairdresser, model and stylist. In 2015, Agness visited Latvia - the girl became a guest of the Riga Fashion Week and made a splash.

Landau is always smiling and positive, but she does not hide the fact that living as a transgender is very difficult, and building a family is even more difficult.

Agnes does not return to Azerbaijan - a year ago she said that the last time she was at home was in 2012 - there people who have changed their sex are treated too badly. “The last time I visited Azerbaijan was in 2012. Then I had long hair and plucked eyebrows. At home, I was advised not to go outside ... I communicate with my family from time to time. And although they do not accept my act, I am still their child, and therefore they keep in touch with me. They say they can't just leave me." Agnes dreams of building a family, and this is not easy to do even in Lithuania, so she wants to move to another country - where a sex change is accepted normally. Thanks to global changes, Landau has lost many friends, because many have betrayed her, and now it is difficult for the girl to trust people - she is afraid that she will be hurt again.

Dmitry Dibrov swore an oath to Elena Malysheva in the hospital

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Eva Lemge was born in 1961Worked as a teacher, chief accountant. Now he heads his own company. Lives in Moscow. Enjoys writing stories.
This is her first post.

EVA LEMGE

Pigalitsa

Hello guys! Hello Vovka! Oh, Andryukha! Long time no see! Hi Hi! Who is playing today? It's good that I looked here today. I love this sports bar. And you can watch a sports program and talk to good people. Kat, me, a couple of beers, dryers, shrimp there, in general, as usual.
Don't look at me like that guys! Well, no teeth. And the bruise hasn't gone away yet. Yes, stop laughing something, in the end. I don't see anything funny. Well, fingal. Well, a hole in the mouth. So what? You might think that the handsome men themselves are written. Have you looked in the mirror for a long time? By the way, you also have something to do with this. Why? So, I'm telling you. Remember that evening when Spartak played? Well, yes, three days ago. And that goat that argued with us, remember? Yep, great. So you all fled, and I stayed with this freak. If I see it, I'll kill it on the spot, honestly. He, this goat, may have broken my whole life. I lost a man because of him. How? Here listen.
That evening, you all fled, and he, I, and even a couple of guys who were unfamiliar remained in the bar. And then I didn’t want to go home like that: again, after all, my mother would start to nag that she had come late, that she smelled of beer. I'm sitting. So we drank a couple of mugs of beer with him. Then another circle. Well! The mood has risen, I wanted to live on. Then he ran to the tent. We slowly poured vodka into the beer. The brush was good. Didn't really get involved. Yes, for the mood. Came out in an embrace, straight friends, nowhere better. And then he suddenly like trample on me. I say man, what are you? We just drank with you. What are you, flashed? And he rushes and rushes. In general, word for word, we fought. And then he hits me! I'm a calm guy. I don't like to fight, but then I felt so offended. Oh, you infection, I think, how to eat vodka for my grandmother, so you are a friend. And as soon as the vodka is over, so you look like a greyhound, a bastard. And, of course, I gave him back.
In general, we waved a little. And here is the whistle. Well, that's all, I think, if the cops notice me now, then write wasted. My mother, for sure, will live out of the world. The cops will take all the last money, and most likely I won’t get to work tomorrow. Then the boss will definitely kick me out of work. He pestered me last time: what, he says, Denis, what are you thinking about? Here you graduated from the institute well, but you burn your life, you work play-play. I'll kick you out, though it's a pity. I won’t see what the head cooks well, And when will you take up your mind ...
That's why, of course, as soon as I heard this whistle, I pulled into the alley. It’s good that I know this area by heart, I spent all my childhood here. My grandmother lives near me. That's why I stuck to this bar - anyway, I go to my grandmother almost every evening. She is already quite old, she does not leave the house. And I'll bring her food, then something else.
In short, I broke away from the cops, ran away. I’m walking, already calmly, to the subway, and it seemed to me: blood was flowing down my face. He ran his hand over his chin - oh wow! All face covered in blood! At that moment, I didn’t even feel any pain, only anger. Here, I think, we sat, got sick. I walk on, feeling my face. There is no tooth. The lip is broken. It hurts under the eye. Exactly, there will be a bruise. I physically feel it pouring. I go and think: “It’s good that the time is late: there is no one to scare. There are no people on the streets, and I hope that there will be few in the subway too.” And so it happened. The old woman at the turnstiles in the subway didn't even look at me, and the cars are just empty. It's already night.
In short, I wake up in the morning - my head hurts, my lip is swollen, my left eye is almost swollen. This goat hit me hard anyway. But one thing reassures - that he, too, got no less than mine. The entire left side of the face is swollen, swollen and twitching in pain. But if you turn to the mirror with your right side to the mirror, you can’t see anything. Okay, I think I'll go to work. I will turn my right side to the boss. Or maybe you'll be lucky and it won't be there today - it happens sometimes with us. I didn’t shave: it hurt, although the stubble grew back great. So he left the bathroom: on the one hand, a decent young man, only slightly unshaven, and on the other, a drunk, a tramp, but what is there to be modest - just a bandit from the main road. When my mother saw me, she immediately began to lament. And almost out loud. And you know what's weird? She didn’t feel sorry for my lip and not a knocked-out tooth, but more and more lamented about what kind of unlucky son she had. I that is. I say: stop screaming mother, tired of worse than bitter radish. And she goes on and on about the same topic - and how unhappy she is, and why she is so punished, and if only I got married as soon as possible and maybe I would settle down then, and her heart would calm down. Got me from all sides. I barked at my mother so as not to pester, dressed in a hurry - and out the door. You don't even want to have breakfast in this environment. I just want to send everyone to hell, so that no one touches, yells, or pesters. And so the head is cast iron. No mood, and the day has just begun.
I ran out the door and thought: where to go? It seems early to work, and you don’t want to get behind the wheel with such a fumes. But - where to go? I got into my car, I think, I’ll drive for about twenty minutes, get better, and go slowly to work. He lowered the glasses for his part, threw the Orbit into his mouth and drove off. I drove two circles around our microdistrict, and just about to leave for the avenue, I look - some girl is standing on the side of the road. Vote.
In the old house, before our Khrushchev house had been demolished yet, I knew all the girls and guys in the area. Both older and younger. There were three of our schools next to each other - English, mathematics and ordinary - so we all hung out together. We've only lived in this area for about a year. Basically, I don't know anyone here. Looked closely - some kind of pigalitsa. The usual one. Years eighteen. Short haircut, tight jeans, sneakers, T-shirt on top. Not a T-shirt, not a shirt, but a T-shirt. I wore these in third grade. You know, white, like noodles. Well, I stopped, I don’t even know why, - you see, I remembered my kindergarten. Without turning the left side of his face to her, he nodded. Sit down please. She sat down. And so in a businesslike way. Slightly cheeky. Like I'm some kind of cabbie for her. She sat down, stretched out her legs, and only then said: “Would you like to get to the subway?” I nodded again. He glanced at her slightly. And the head is full of something else. I would like to have breakfast somewhere. Yes, I still have to talk with the boss. He looked at his watch - my God, my God! And time is short. Now it's definitely not time for food. Just to get to work on time. Well, I drove. Cut off a couple of cars. They let me signal. Okay guys, be patient. If I get kicked out of work, I have no idea what to do. Of course, I will find something, but I feel sorry for my mother. And you have to live on something. Yes, and I don’t have a spear for my soul. No matter how much I earn, I spend everything: I’ll buy a new computer with bells and whistles, then I’ll give it to my mother, then I’ll make a present for my grandmother - she alone understands me.
In short, I’m rushing along the road, I’m overtaking cars either on the right or on the left, I’m slipping on yellow ... I’m flying, in short, and out of the corner of my eye I see: my girl has pressed herself into the seat, all tensed up. And she twitches her nose: she must have smelled the fume - most likely the orbit has ended. But I have no time to watch her: I look at the road. It's not part of my plans to break into a cake. And then this pigalka suddenly still under the arm and says: "But I have no money."
Here's the fool. She probably thinks I put her in jail for the money. Of course, who would ever think that I, a twenty-six-year-old blockhead, was swept up by kindergarten nostalgia. Her shirt reminded me of my happiest years. Then my parents were not divorced, and my grandmother was healthy, and everyone loved me. And then I wore exactly the same T-shirts, and they smelled like childhood - a hot iron.
So, she says, she has no money, but I don’t care. I nodded, and I myself think how I would not get stuck in traffic jams on the highway. And then I remembered one way. The road is not the road. Just some kind of donkey trail, two cars will not disperse. She winds along the garages, runs through the woods, but jumps out almost to the center, and cuts off a huge piece. I went and turned on her. He turned sharply, boldly - and again cut off some peasant. He followed me only and managed to signal. But he did not catch up. How can he catch up with me, if I always took the first places in the institute races.
True, this road, on which we turned, and about which not everyone knows, is all very cluttered. All in potholes, rubbish is lying on the roadsides, there are all sorts of bottles, plus crumpled barrels and various metal junk. In a good way to ride on it - just beat the car, but in emergency cases - you can. People are not visible. Crooked trees along the roadsides, but stray dogs. And it is also narrow, one-sided, which is why I drive on it under a hundred. I only pray that no one gets caught. And then we get up, rest against each other. Then everyone, goodbye work.
And suddenly I hear such a thin voice, plaintive: “Oh, uncle, let me go, please. I won't do that again."
I turn my head and see that my pigalitsa is completely pressed into the seat. She huddled, clutching her purse to her chest. She clenched her fists like toys in a cramp. And his eyes were as big as saucers. Half face. Blue-blue. Just unrealistically huge, and unrealistically blue. And on dark skin, the faces look generally awesome. And then only I notice that the girl is a beauty. That is, now, with these thin shoulders, a stubby haircut - just an ugly duckling, but in about five years it will be hoo! And then it suddenly became so funny to me: well, what an “uncle” I am to her! Of course, since she was seventeen or eighteen years old, I am a grown man. But "uncle"! I was only twenty-six this spring. Uncle! I almost choked with laughter. He turned to face her and suddenly saw a sea of ​​horror in her eyes. It really kind of sparkled in her eyes. I have never seen such a thing - that a person had such eyes from fear.
And then I remembered everything - about the knocked out tooth, and about the swollen eye, and about the cut lip. And about the stubble on their cheeks. And she grows a whole centimeter in a day. Black and blue. And I saw myself from the outside. Estimate? God's fear! A man, all in bristles, swollen after drinking, reeks of fumes, his eye is swollen, there is a bruise under his eye, there is no tooth. Nightmare! In general, as I understood it, as I saw that this girl was really afraid, it became even funnier for me. Well, I think I'll play a prank on you now, baby. Without a penny in your pocket, but impudent. It's not the first time you've been riding like this. It would be nice to have more money in your pocket. Think next time before you catch a wheelbarrow.
And this little one, from fear, is already barely babbling:
- Uncle. Let me go, I'll never do this again! - And the door handle itself derg-derg.
Well, I think, God forbid, still fall out onto the side of the road. With such a fragile structure, you can’t collect bones.
- Are you sure you won't? - I moved my eyebrows and specifically ask so menacingly. And I myself am already wheezing with laughter and suffocating, but I try to keep an angry face: - What are you, girl, catching a car without money? And how will you pay? in kind?
And she’s already trembling all over with fear, froze like a mummy, her eyes goggled at me and only squeaks:
- I'll never do that again! Uncle! Oh please! Well, let me go!
And I have already begun to have convulsions from laughter. I’m shaking all over, tears are rolling out of my eyes, a wheezing is escaping from my throat, and I want to explain to her already, and reassure this fool that I’m not a rapist, and I turned onto this road to get there faster, and that I had some kind of tooth yesterday knocked out by an idiot. But in fact, I'm not a fighter, and not a drunkard, but a normal guy, I graduated from the institute with honors, and I don't need her money. But instead of words, some kind of growl is obtained.
Here you are all laughing. Imagine what it was like for me then. Then we jumped out onto a normal road, I slowed down. And I wave my hand to her - come on, they say, go. I couldn't speak from laughing. And you don't even need to persuade her. She blew so hard that the trail vanished in an instant. In general, I wiped my tears, looked at myself again in the mirror, sighed and drove on.
Everything worked out very well for me that day. And there was no boss, and I dumped from work from lunch, and everything would be fine, guys, but now I just don’t dream about those eyes. I'm like this, and like that. And they do not go out of my head. They haunt me day and night: blue-blue, huge-huge, half-face.
And now I'm guessing. As soon as the bruise comes off and the lip heals, I'll watch for a few days at the house where I met this piglet. Suddenly she lives somewhere there. I apologize to her, and at the same time I will tell you how it all happened. Something I really want to see her again. Tight jeans, a kindergarten T-shirt and half-face eyes.

March 2005

Chronicle of one transformation

I do not want to work. I don't want to communicate with anyone. Tired. Around some freaks. Yesterday they again convened a five-minute meeting and again pestered me that I was not working well. Don't feel bad! Yes, if not for me, they would have been doing this translation for another two months. It's technical, about waterproofing basements. Boredom is deadly. Yes, even new words from a kilometer. How they bored me. I had to say that if the award is not given, I will go to hell. Let them look for another fool.
In general, they got me, my eyes just don’t look at anyone. Not colleagues, but a bunch of idiots. And also this fool, secretary Galechka, a narrow-minded and stupid aunt of about thirty-five. With a stupid sparse bangs over a sloping forehead. Which cannot connect a word at all, copies all the letters entrusted to it from the database, and not a phrase from itself! And if you tell her that you need to add something, then sheer spelling and stylistic errors. But what can I say, when she always has a small mirror on her table, in which she admires herself when no one sees. And she herself is a mymra mymra. The nose is a tiny pipette with a depressed nose bridge. Small inexpressive eyes of an indefinite color framed by a kilogram of mascara. Irregularly plucked eyebrows and crooked thin lips. I can't stand talking to her. And she breaks through all the time to communicate with me:
- Natasha, where are you dressing? she asks me as I walk past her into the office, and immediately puts on an obsequious expression on her face.
- I don’t dress at all, - I’m already being rude, - I would love to go naked, only it’s cold.
Where did you buy those shoes you wore last week?
Well, a typical female chatter from nothing to do: either she is bored, or she is stuffed into her friends.
- I won't tell you, Galechka. And then you, too, go there and buy!
In my opinion, it turned out too poisonous - "Galechka". Only this Mamzel still did not understand anything. She ate and God bless her.
- That's what you are, right?
- Yes.
God, aren't you an idiot? But what difference does it make where I bought the shoes, because it’s obvious that I don’t want to talk to her.
What about our boss?
Former, retired military. The jokes are all soldierly, flat, the smile is insincere, the look is undressing. Even ears pressed to the head cause melancholy and hatred.
- Natasha, what do you do in the evenings?
- I smoke marijuana.
- You always joke so strangely. Is it that young people have such humor now?
- No, it's the elderly who have such manners now, with living wives.
And this “elderly” is forty-five years old.
- Hee hee. Well, maybe you can find some time between your marijuana and we have dinner?
- And I, Pyotr Evgenievich, have a diet, I don’t eat after six.
Selfish to the point of being idiotic. Hear only himself. He probably thinks that all subordinates dream of sleeping with him. Or, in any case, they have no right to refuse. Yeah. How.
After all, there are some bosses who are not idiots!
And the most "song" is our second translator. Greasy pigtails climb behind the collar, a synthetic shirt so as not to iron, daily fumes in the morning and a bucket of toilet water on an unwashed body, probably for a month. Fu, crap.
And again, idiotic jokes, obscene anecdotes at lunch and impudent harassment.
- Natasha, how about a tavern today?
You might think that we only go to taverns with him. We have never gone and never will.
- Back off, Gen.
- No, it's true.
- Listen, invite Galechka, you and her are like Siamese twins - two idiots, and leave me alone, as well as all thoughts about me. Just forget everything.
- Oh, and you're a bitch, Natasha.
- Let me be a bitch, just back off.
Or maybe I'm just depressed? When I came to this job, they didn’t seem so vile to me. Ordinary people, not weighed down by a decent upbringing, not particularly brilliant with wit, not disfigured by intellect. Can I really be a bitch?
- Natasha, are you a Sagittarius? Do you know what day it is today?
- No, Gala, I don't know. - It's already six in the evening, and I'm still racking and racking my brains: what kind of day is today?
This idiot, always reads various horoscopes, always pushes everyone some unnecessary information, such as: "tomorrow is a difficult day for Aquarius", or: "Lions need to be careful when crossing the street." She simply has nothing to do, so all this useless information is rushing out of her. I'd rather read a book, by God.
- Oh, what are you. Today is your wish day! Look, this newspaper has a Japanese horoscope, and it says that those born under the constellation of Sagittarius and in the year of the Dragon, today, once in a millennium, are given the right to make a wish. Here you think of something, and you will see - it will definitely come true! True, there still need to know the time of birth, but it does not matter!
- Certainly. Certainly.
- In vain you do not believe. I have never seen such predictions!
- Goodbye, Gala.
And I went home.
Anyone who knows our new buildings in Moscow knows for sure how difficult it is to get to them. First you go by metro with two, three transfers. In the center, at the transitions, you barely stomp on the back of the head of others with small steps, clutching your purse and trying not to step on anyone's feet. Pray to God that you don't come too. First, it hurts. Secondly, tights can be torn. Thirdly, they can step on the back - and then goodbye shoes.
And what about the eternal grandmas with carts or aunts with heavy trunks? And nasty teenagers with nimble eyes. So it seems that now they will cut off the handbag. You take the entrance to the cars by storm. You press with your whole body on those already standing, lean on the door jambs - and here you are, finally, in the car. You stand, pressed on all sides by strangers, the reliefs of other people's bodies are pressed into you, and you become one mass with them. Unfamiliar arms, legs, backs, buttocks are pressed against you with all their might, and the aroma of your perfume mixes with the smell of cheap strawberry soap, sweat, tobacco, beer and the devil knows what else. And when you are finally spat out at your station, you already vaguely remind yourself of yourself. It turned out something crumpled, crumpled, disheveled and smelly. This it, and no longer me, goes and gets up at the end of a long queue for the bus. Well, if the queue behaves more or less calmly. But for the most part, you have to participate in the battle for the bus. The same, already familiar situation is repeated with the merging into the general mass with the population, and the exchange of smells. In short, as a result of the trip (and my house is the last one in the city, then only the fire tower and the forest), I fall out of the bus and look longingly at the last Rubicon - a field of mud that I still have to go through. Of course, by the middle of summer it will dry up, and it will be possible to move without fear. Thank God, some kind people threw the planks. And we, the victims of passenger transport, in single file, carefully follow each other along these footbridges. Again, you can’t wear expensive shoes in such conditions. It seems as if we do not live in the capital of an almost European state, but in a remote Siberian village.
When I bought this apartment, it was simply not cheaper. And I had to quickly get away from my brother, to whom his wife brought twins. In our one-room apartment with him, inherited from our parents. Then I had some money, and I bought this hut. I wanted to take a car. But there was no alternative.
Here I am stomping to my house, positive emotions are completely absent, and suddenly I see: five or six dogs are lying on the edge of this mud field. They lie so still, curled up in a ball, the sun warms them, satisfied, happy. And I envied them. Well, I think it would be nice to be a dog. Don't give a damn about everything - money, career, boss. To lead such a homeless, dangerous life and not bother.
Okay, I think I’ll buy a couple of kilograms of sausages especially for them tomorrow, and arrange a holiday for them.
In the morning the alarm clock rang at six as usual. With half-closed eyes, yawning, I slid off the couch and dragged myself to the bathroom. Turn on the light and see yourself in the mirror! My face was covered in fur.
What is it? Not a dream, not glitches, I'm not mentally ill, it's clear that I'm real, you shouldn't even pinch your thighs or beat your head against the wall. Hands are also in wool. I slowly run my hands over my shoulders and over my head. Reddish coat on the shoulders, soft and silky. In principle, not very thick, but almost a centimeter long. I still have long black hair on my head. Only under them, red growth has already sprouted. Mechanically, I took a comb and combed my hair. Then I thought - and took off my shirt. All skin, over my super-expensive tan, was covered in fur. On the back it was thicker, on the chest quite rare. The least amount of hair was on the face. Nothing else seems to have changed.
In a stupor, I went to the kitchen, put the coffee on and sat down on the sofa. What is it? Like this? It doesn't happen! What to do? I immediately remembered Galechka, with her stupid Japanese horoscope, and my wish yesterday. My back itched unbearably and I wanted to eat. I wanted something meaty. Pulling a couple of sausages out of the fridge, I ate them without waiting for coffee. It is clear that I will not go to work. Spit. Going to the doctors is useless. To the street too. Even if I shave my face, put on a baseball cap, jeans and sneakers, then where should I go, and why? I'll wait to see what happens next.
I spent the whole day at home. Didn't answer the phone. Someone rang the doorbell - I didn't open it. I watched TV and ate. Well, when could I still afford to lie on the couch and eat all day? There is a whole day that I want, since the refrigerator was full of food. From time to time I would slide off the couch and approach the large mirror in the hallway. The hair practically did not grow, only the whole body itched slightly, and it began to seem to me that it had become thicker. At lunch, I took off my clothes and realized that not only was I not cold, but it was very pleasant to be naked. My skin, my body was not irritated either by plastic stools in the kitchen, or by the carpet in the hallway, or by the velor covering of the sofa. The only thing that bothered me was itching all over my skin. Then, on reflection, I took out a sealed bottle of whiskey, opened a bag of juice, dragged chocolates from the refrigerator half-eaten on a holiday and made myself a feast. I knew, I felt that I would never drink whiskey again. And how nice it is. After drinking almost the entire bottle, I fell asleep, easily and without dreams.
Waking up in the evening, I felt a terrible hunger, and I didn’t even want to look at the fruit. The attitude towards sausage remained the same. Very positive too. Stretched out on the couch, and feeling bliss, I turned on the TV and waited: what would happen next. By night, the coat became stiffer, the long hair on the head fell out. The nails are slightly bent and hardened. The tail has not yet been felt. It was just that the coccyx was still slightly itchy. Looking closely at myself in the mirror, I admitted aloud to myself that I was turning into a dog.
Having waited until late at night, when all normal people were already sitting at home or even sleeping, I collected leftover food around the house, dumped all the frozen meat, sausages, fish into my bag - in general, everything that I found in the refrigerator, with the exception of cheese, I left it for breakfast, and went to the mudfield.
In the dark, I didn't see them right away. They lay and slept. But when I got closer, they stood up and warily turned their heads towards me. For a while we stood and looked at each other. I looked from one to the other, peered into the eyes and thought: I wonder who you were in a past life? What do I even know about you?
After a while, there was a silent movement forward among them, and I squatted down.
"Come on, guys," I said, taking groceries out of my bag and spreading them around me. - Come, do not be afraid, I brought you something to eat.
After these words, I scattered the pieces of meat away from each other so that my future friends would not fight, and with pleasure I watched them eat for a long time. I knew that tomorrow I would be with them, and that hardly anyone would bring us food, that I would have to get food myself, as well as starve and freeze in winter, run away from dog owners, and fight for territory. And I already knew that tomorrow they would accept me into their company.
For some reason, all this phantasmagoria was perceived by me very calmly. I used to think that if something unreal happens to me, then I will just explode, throw a tantrum, kill everyone on the spot. And now for some reason I was very calm and easy.
Returning home, I ate the cheese left for breakfast, the rest of the sour cream, brewed coffee for myself one more time and, having finished my whiskey, went to bed.
I was not afraid, and pulling the blanket over my shoulders, I thought that tomorrow I could wake up in the final form of a dog. Then I got up and opened the front door so that in the morning I could go outside without any problems. Otherwise, I will have to howl for a long time. And not the fact that they will immediately hear me. Then people will come, neighbors. They will break the door, but they will not let me go free, but they will take me to my brother and say:
- Your sister is missing. Such a pity, please accept my condolences. And this is her dog. Natasha closed her at home, and she howled so, so howled. Take her with you.
And Pashka will leave me at home, and he and his wife will not give me the desired freedom. They will put a collar on me, restrict my movements, feed, cherish, pity and walk in turns.
Well, I do not!
I still have things to do!
I will still have to find this creature, Galechka, and BURN!!!

Modern medical technologies are amazing and can solve almost any problem of mankind. Procedures and surgeries that seemed like a fantastic invention a couple of decades ago have now become commonplace and are performed in many clinics at least once a week. For example, the transformation of men into women is a reality of our days, namely, a common surgical intervention that is incredibly popular.

Indications for the operation

Sex reassignment by surgery is usually performed in two cases. An indication for such an operation is anomalies in the development of the fetus during fetal development, when a child is born with underdeveloped genital organs. Or the psychological disorder "transsexualism", characterized by a discrepancy between sexual self-determination and the physiological sex received from birth. In the first case, they try to carry out the operation as early as possible in order to give the child and his family a full life. The situation is much more complicated with adult patients.

The transformation of men into women is a serious operation, entailing lifelong adherence to certain rules, and also associated with significant health risks. And if the claim that many people who have changed sex die earlier than they could be attributed to myths, there are real problems. This is infertility, sexual inferiority in some aspects, the need to carefully monitor your health and take hormonal drugs throughout your life. In addition, the operation is irreversible, so those who want to do it should establish themselves in their intention and prove its sincerity and the need for intervention by doctors.

Preparatory stage

In civilized countries, before going to the operating room, the patient must be observed by a psychiatrist for at least two years and regularly come for scheduled appointments and examinations. This preparation option is optimal, during the conversations the specialist will try to determine the causes of the problem, tell in detail about the planned operation and, perhaps, offer alternative ways to reconcile the body and mind. The transformation of men into women does not take place in one day, sometimes the complete transformation is delayed for 3-5 years. It is also important to know about this for everyone who wants to change their gender. Among other things, changing gender will require considerable material investments, several operations are usually performed, and medicines are not cheap. Therefore, before deciding on such changes, you should weigh the pros and cons.

The transformation begins!

Sex change from M to F is considered a simpler procedure than turning a woman into a man. The operation requires not only preliminary psychological and moral preparation, but also physical. The initial stage of the transformation is a course of hormone therapy. The drugs should be taken for approximately one year. The exact duration of treatment depends on individual indications. Most often, already during the course, the plastic surgeon recommends the patient to try on a new image. Often during this period, secondary plastic surgery is also performed. Depending on the initial complexion of the patient, plastic surgery of the breast and face, liposuction or implantation in the buttocks, thighs and other areas can be performed.

Sex-change operation

As soon as taking hormonal drugs has led to the desired indicators, you can plan the main operation. The transformation of men into women consists in the removal and formation of new ones. The possibilities of modern plastic surgery are extensive. Female genital organs can be created from the biological material of the patient, including the "unnecessary" - the removed penis and scrotum. A certain percentage of patients prefer to get rid of only the existing sex characteristics obtained at birth. However, most people who decide to take this step prefer to get new genitals after a sex change.

Recovery period

One of the most popular problems among patients who have changed their gender from male to female is the narrowing of the vagina. The human body is so arranged that all foreign materials are rejected by the immune system, and all wounds are healed. To prevent this phenomenon, it is recommended to regularly use medical dilators selected by the attending physician. These are special medical devices that have nothing to do with toys for adults. Sometimes some ointments and other healing agents may also be prescribed. After sex reassignment surgery, the patient must take new hormonal drugs. Removing the testicles reduces the amount of naturally produced testosterone, but it is impossible to start the production of female sex hormones (estrogen) in the male body.

Living with a new floor

Every person who decides to change their gender must understand that not a single operation will help him fully approach those who were born with the “needed” set of chromosomes from birth. Plastic surgery can change the external sexual characteristics. However, can a man be considered a woman from birth, forced to take hormones in the form of tablets until the end of his days, is a big question.

Sex reassignment does not involve the creation and implantation of internal genital organs, since such operations are currently impossible to perform. Accordingly, the "new woman" will not be able to have offspring, she will never know what menstruation is. As far as maintaining erotic sensitivity, many sex changers claim to enjoy intimacy. Doctors also say that the sensitivity in the genital area does not disappear after the operation, however, the "woman" created through plastic surgery will never feel what her friend, born with this sex, feels.

There are enough disadvantages of surgical sex change, but it’s still worth recognizing that for some people this is really the only way to happiness and harmony. Doing this type of operation is only for those who are confident in the correctness of their decision and are not afraid of possible difficulties.