When you say seemingly reasonable and obvious things to a teenager, does he not listen to you, does not take into account your words? Maybe you raised him badly, or it’s the notorious hormones (it’s convenient to write off exactly what you don’t know much about), or is it just another “lost generation”?

In fact, there is one main and very simple reason why this happens - teenagers do not like the adults who teach them. Yes, they don't like you, that's why they don't want to follow your advice. They do not approve of your character, lifestyle, appearance, relationships.

That's why it can happen.

You are too far

It happens that a teenager generally looks positively at your life and at yourself, even treats you well. This happens with good family relations, a teenager understands with his head that his parents are good worthy people. But your "good" is not his "good".
For him, everything is yours - your appearance, your leisure time, work, your friends - this is not it. Not something he would like to have. For example, he may sincerely wonder how you can sit for years at one job when there are so many interesting things around. Or consider that for your age you look good, but it doesn’t suit him in any way. Then your young man or young girl thinks that you may be versed in fashion and the concepts of those “who cares…”, but these concepts don’t matter to him, he has his own guidelines. And you are in no way competent in his guidelines, how do you know what is in fashion now? Do you understand this? Of course not.

Devaluing your lifestyle, considering it an inappropriate option, a teenager naturally does not listen to you. How to listen to someone who lives in a different coordinate system? You are “some kind of strange” for him, you are too afraid of something that seems to him to be nonsense (well, he tried to smoke, for example, so what); you impose elections on him where he does not ask; you cannot understand how you can dream of becoming a blogger; you can't talk about computer games at all. And since you don’t understand anything on all fronts, you are too far from the world of a teenager, then it makes no sense for him to listen to you, one annoyance.

Your image is frankly negative

This is a very common case, here a teenager not only devalues ​​you, but also actively condemns you. He does not like everything in your lifestyle, he sincerely believes that since you do not need to live. I must say that this is something like a relay race. If you are prone to active criticism of children, then they adopt this manner of perception and communication with loved ones, they will also tend to judge you harshly.

Children aged 12-18 analyze the world around them and the world of their own family very actively. It only seems to us that "they don't need anything" and "they don't know how to think." They just think differently than we do.

If we are worse than our fathers, and they are worse than our grandfathers - and so back centuries to Plato, then why is the world no worse and no better than Plato described it?

J. B. Shaw

And so, by analyzing your image and your place in the world, teenagers understand who you are in this life. Moreover, they understand this in their emerging value system, and not in yours. They begin to evaluate - what kind of work do mom and dad have? Often they evaluate your performance in this area negatively. For example, you don’t earn enough money, often complain about a job you hate, constantly joke about how your job is about to kill you. That is, you yourself in every way make it clear to the child that your choice is not very good. So why would he listen to your advice on where to go to study and what to do in life? This is career advice for him as a loser. It makes sense not to listen to them.

It happens that your career is very even, and you love your work, but it swallowed you completely and tore you away from your family. In this case, the teenager may also react negatively to your experience, believing that it is not right to put life to work like this. Again, a crack in your image and the unwillingness of a teenager to listen to you.

Your health and especially appearance can also be criticized by a teenager, often quite fair. Can a person who has launched himself say the right things about health, will they listen to him? When a person with excess weight and dubious appearance begins to teach a grown child how to eat and how to play sports, then this child naturally does not listen to an adult, an adult is not an authority in this matter.

Or adult relationships, communication skills, intimacy. If a child watches all his life how mom and dad swear, then he evaluates their relationship experience as negative. He naturally believes that adults do NOT know how to negotiate and communicate in general. And the same thing happens if the child himself was always yelled at, pressured or ignored, trying to achieve something. Then the child grows up in the belief that parents understand little about communication, and not only will he not come for advice, but he will erect a wall (put on headphones) if you try to do good by advising him how to behave with others. You have devalued your advice with your own behavior, the child does not believe in your words, since you yourself could not use the wisdom that you present and remained at the broken trough of the relationship. With the child himself as well.

If mom humiliates dad, and dad tells how insignificant mom is (all this is in family scandals), then the child will not respect either mom or dad. He was so well told who is who.

Sometimes children condemn our manners, for example, we are afraid to stand up for ourselves, or vice versa, we are too relaxed. Yes, children are often ashamed of their parents, of how they look in society.

Parents are very annoyed by this “court” of children and they are ready to prove that the child does not have a moral right to this court, since the parents raised, gave life, and so on. Perhaps the child does not have the right to open court, respecting the parents. It is already really a question of education, whether a certain inhibition is instilled in the child in the field of statements addressed to elders. But the inner judgment is always happening. We must admit that children evaluate us as they get older. And it depends on this assessment whether the child will listen to you.

If you show with your life an example of good adaptation to life, your own satisfaction with this life, you have a much higher chance that a teenager will listen to you.

Parental authoritarianism is a very funny phenomenon, especially when the child is already laughing in the face after the suggestion to quit a cigarette. Or frankly sent you. Or just slammed the door in your face. Some parents, in response to such impudence, turn on the program of parental authoritarianism. But since the child, as a rule, is no longer available for influence, this authoritarianism exists in the theoretical field. And parents, having gathered together, or on forums, or at a psychologist's appointment, argue that the child should obey, because he is a child. Because it has been like this since time immemorial, because he lives on your territory and on your money. And for a million more reasons. He must, but does not obey, and to whom to attribute this “debt” and what to do is a mystery!

The fact that the child "should" in fact is a soap bubble. Well, if the child agrees. And if not? What will you do to encourage him to do his "duty"?

In fact, you have very limited opportunities to influence the child, and the older the child, the more limited they are. Let's see what it is:

physical power

Such power is over very young children. You can take the child in your arms and take him where you need to, you can not let him in somewhere, you can put the sweets in the top drawer and turn off the TV.

With age, physical power decreases rapidly. Already a four-year-old child, not every parent can physically stop and not let him go somewhere. Power such as "do not let go", "do not give" has huge limitations. You cannot control what your child eats at school, what words he says, what he generally does or does not do when you are not around. And often even when you are around.

Supporters of corporal punishment are sure that they have more physical power over the child and it lasts longer. They are also sure that this is generally the only instrument of power. Learn more about physical punishment. I will briefly say that if you beat a child even rarely and “for the cause”, this reduces the possibility of your influence on him, and does not increase. And it almost nullifies the possibility of psychological influence, as the child builds up a shell from you, which can only be pierced with a belt. Children who are beaten are usually a little controllable and almost not afraid of punishment.

Physical power also includes material power. The fact that the child lives on your money limits him somewhat. You can choose not to buy him what you consider harmful and regulate his movements (for example, you can send him to a camp or class).

Material power usually becomes the last dwindling hope and argument of teenagers' parents. Financial leverage is at least something when physical power is no longer there, and psychological power has not been created.

But, at the last turn of childhood, material power is nothing more than an illusion. You can’t kick a child out of the house, don’t leave him without food. And you won’t even leave without tutors, you yourself are more afraid of a child that he will fail in exams. And the absence of any - from material bonuses in the form of clothing, gadgets or entertainment, children are very worried, they are already overfed with opportunities. The activity of a teenager in a direction that is beneficial to you can no longer be bought “for candy”. He won't try at school to get a new phone. So even if your teenager is demanding of you about material investments, it will most likely not be possible to control his behavior with a material lever. In some cases, when parents try to put pressure on them with the help of a material lever (“you will obey while you live in my house!”), Teenagers simply leave home, saying that they don’t need anything at all. Parents are not always ready for such a turn of events, they only wanted the child to obey ...

psychological power

Psychological power has practically no limits, it equally applies to people of different ages. And you can have such power over a child, and over a wife, and over a friend. Above the child is easier, of course, especially if he is small. But even here, many parents fail, on the contrary, the child has psychological power over them, the child controls his weakness, or vice versa tyrannically.

I’ll make a reservation right away that in a healthy version you should not claim full power over the child. Neither psychological nor physical. No need to try to know everything about the child, to reign in his world and his soul. Especially when it comes to teenagers. With their stubbornness, children protect themselves, their lives, defend the right to their decisions and mistakes.

... Stubbornness, with which a person defends himself from someone else's will. Defends his life. Let this life turn out worse than someone planned, but its own, whatever it is ...

L. Petrushevskaya

However, it is quite normal to want to influence a growing child. And your influence is directly proportional to your weight in the eyes of a teenager. You can not seize psychological power by force, it can only be earned, as well as respect. Psychological power can only exist if a teenager voluntarily opens up to you the inner world. And without it, your influence will be more like a siege of the city, where arrows will fly in your direction, not signs of gratitude. Violent attempts to squeeze into the head of a teenager and introduce the right solutions there are doomed to failure.

Psychological power is the only thing you can bet on, no matter how we yearn for times and cultures where children were required to obey their parents, whether they wanted to or not.

How to improve your image in the eyes of a teenager

In order to gain more weight in the eyes of a teenager, you can apply some healthy strategies:

1. Stop using the word "WE" when you're talking about a teenager. A small detail, which I will write about later. Separate yourself and the child, first of all, in a speech and do not talk about how “we almost got kicked out of the 10th grade”, “we sit in headphones all day”, “we lie on the couch all the time”.

As long as you take a teenager literally as part of you, you cannot enter into a constructive relationship with him.

2. Leave claims for total power and control. This is a very important strategy, feeling that you have loosened your grip, the teenager will slightly weaken the defense and a peaceful dialogue will be possible. Do not rummage through things, do not check the phone, give the person the right to personal space.

It is also advisable to stop offering to tie a scarf, cut your hair and drink warm. These are forms of control and interaction with very young children, they always annoy teenagers. You fit into the area of ​​the body, and with an adult child you have nothing special to do there. Move to a new level of communication, leave behind the idea that you know better if a person is cold or not.

3. Get active with your life. Your life requires an investment of time if you want your child to respect you. Do not just become the soil on which your children grow up, you should be an example of a life strategy for them, and for this you need to try.

This is the most difficult and most necessary point. It is always easier to deal with someone, not yourself. If you have problems with a teenager, then your whole head can be filled with this. And it may even seem blasphemous to think that you need to pay attention to yourself. But very often the problem is solved just in such a workaround, do not improve the life of a teenager, do something for your life.

4. Learn to understand the world of a teenager (as far as he lets him in). It is clear that it seems to you that there is nothing to understand there, that everything is clear there: two stomps, three slams. And immediately I want to correct everything in my own way, explain it, and thoughtlessness and maximalism are very annoying. And it’s even hard to listen to the end, you immediately want to object and bring the light of truth. But this is HIS world, he created it not without difficulty, he lives in it. When you devalue and criticize his world, he understands exactly that you do not understand anything, and on this simple basis, devalues ​​your opinion. Such a vicious circle is obtained. If a teenager understands and feels that you are ready to listen and understand him, he will become more tolerant of your opinion.

5. Create a relationship field.

Have you ever wondered how strange it is that children move away from their parents as they age? There was a baby, they went to the park, read books, bathed, played, everything was fine, they talked. Then, gradually, the child had his own interests, he fenced himself off, began to live his own life, then, in general, the connection dried up, there was nothing to talk about. That is, the children's connection was broken, and the adult did not work out. But after all, a child, growing up, becomes more like you, he looks at the world in a more similar way, he is able to perceive more. For example, for a three-year-old, you will read the maximum of Kolobok, and a 13-year-old child can seriously discuss adult poems with you (not like an adult, but seriously).

With him you can discuss art, personal problems of a person, you can play chess with him or learn to draw.

Communication with a child is not care and control, but above all spiritual intimacy. And with age, it can strengthen and become more diverse, richer. And often it turns out the other way around, as soon as the child can entertain and serve himself, it seems that there is nothing to do with him ... well, except to check the lessons.

In order to increase the spiritual and emotional connection with the child, you need to take care of this connection constantly: organize joint leisure with the child, expand the possibilities of communication. There is no need to rejoice that the animators will take the child on vacation while you are resting, because at this moment your spiritual connection is degrading.

Once I met on vacation with the father of a 7 year old boy. The boy obviously needed his dad, often resorted to him just to sit, tried to talk. But the father was obsessed with the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe independence of the child and drove him away, pointing out that there was something to do in the hotel and there was nothing to cling to the father, not a little one. How much longer will a boy strive for his father if he is so persuaded to go do something himself? And how does the father plan to influence the boy later, if he builds such strong walls between himself and him?

As your child ages, your connections with him may be enriched, but this cannot be done abruptly. Daily meaningful communication will naturally lead you to a place in your teen's life.

© Filonenko Elizaveta

We often receive questions from parents of teenagers about the nature of their children's behavior. It is often very difficult to understand schoolchildren during adolescence, so let's take a look at the most popular questions and try to understand what is behind the strange behavior of teenagers?

1. Why did the child stop talking to his parents and hide his problems?

This rebellion is in his nature. The family does not cease to play a huge role in the life of a child, the opinion of parents and other adults is important for a teenager, but at the same time he wants independence. Often a teenager does not know how to ask adults for advice, thinking that by doing so he will sink in the eyes of his parents and again rise to the stage of childhood. Do not interfere with the child, probing the boundaries of the possible. Show attention to the child, explain that you are not going to condemn him, scold him, blame him for anything, but do not pester him with questions, just show that he has his own inner untouchable space, but you are always there.

2. Why did the teenager's academic performance decrease?

Since the main activity of a teenager is communication, it depends on this. So, for example, when relations with peers worsen, a teenager's academic performance drops rapidly and, conversely, the better relations with peers, the higher the level of academic performance.

In addition, at the beginning of adolescence, the first sexual desires and interests appear and the previous, childish interests die off, which is also associated with a drop in academic performance and a decrease in overall performance. But thanks to this, the teenager forms a new system of interests, which includes an increased interest in the psychological experiences of other people, as well as himself. The child begins to think about his future and creates his own imaginary reality, a dream.

3. Why did the teenager get involved with “bad company”?

Adolescents attach great importance to distinguishing themselves as a separate, unique member of society. Attempts to stand out from the "gray mass" can lead the child to commit antisocial actions.

Adolescents seek to expand the boundaries of their own personal experience as soon as possible, they seek adventure, and often do not recognize their behavior as deviant from the norm. They consider this to be absolutely normal, as they are very passionate about themselves and do not yet know how to adequately assess situations and their own capabilities.

The reason for deviations in the behavior of adolescents can also be misunderstanding on the part of parents and peers, neglect, lack of communication within the family, connivance by relatives, and even a negative assessment of the child by the parents of his friends.

If it seems to a teenager that he is rejected by everyone, and the need for self-affirmation is not satisfied, then the child is looking for a company outside the school. Often such companies are called "street", they say about them that "the child got into a bad company." A teenager needs to prove to himself and others that he is an adult, and, like every adult, he has friends. In this company, the child can compensate for his personal failures at school.

4. Why did the teenager stop going out?

- a very difficult period for the child himself. From within, he is torn apart by a storm of emotions, with which he is not always able to cope. Some children withdraw into themselves, begin to get involved in reading, movies, spend a lot of time on the Internet and in social networks - this is normal. Not all teenagers spend all their time walking on the street. Some need peace in order to find their "I".

5. Why is a teenager dissatisfied with his appearance?

Teenagers are very passionate about their appearance and react very painfully to any discrepancy with their subjective norm of appearance, therefore they exaggerate and invent bodily defects. “I have ugly heels” is a normal phrase of an ordinary teenager. Be patient with such dissatisfaction, with attempts to change your appearance - all this is necessary for a teenager to realize his own uniqueness and begin to adequately evaluate himself.

6. Why does a teenager constantly think about the opposite sex?

A huge role in the life of a teenager is played by sexual interests.

A biological feature of adolescence is hormonal changes in the body. This is related to the gender identity of adolescents. It is at this age that the features of behavior regarding their gender role are fixed.

One of the reasons for the appearance of conflicts at this age is precisely puberty. The surge of sexual energy shakes the internal balance, and this causes an imbalance in the mental state of a teenager.

So, if your child has begun a transitional age, be patient and try to calmly perceive all the changes in the behavior and character of a teenager. Everything that will happen to him in the coming years has a physiological and psychological explanation, and your child is not to blame for the fact that a storm flares up inside him. Just be there, try to round the corners and not get into conflicts, accept his desire to seem like an adult, and talk, talk as much as possible with the child, even if it seems to you that he does not listen to you. Believe me, he listens and listens, he just does not show it.

Ekaterina Safonova

Alexandra Bochaver, Research Fellow, Center for Contemporary Childhood Research, Institute of Education, National Research University Higher School of Economics.

Today's teenagers seem to hang out at their age. They do not strive for independence and put off important decisions. This applies to a variety of areas - from choosing a future profession to relationships with people, Alexandra Bochaver noted in the article "Prospects for modern adolescents in the context of a life trajectory". It was published in the journal Modern Foreign Psychology, Volume 5, No. 2, 2016.

Based on the work of the researcher, the site identified the reasons for the protracted maturation of young people.

Opportunities hinder growing up

Independence of decisions, responsibility, emotional maturity, awareness of one's priorities and attitudes - all this is adulthood. The bridge to it stretches from childhood: this is adolescence. Walking on this bridge to maturity, the young man finds himself, his identity.

However, today this bridge is getting longer. "Maturity" is delayed and proceeds non-linearly.

If earlier adolescence was considered 12-16 years old, now psychologists are increasingly setting a new limit - 18 years. There are also more radical views. Some scientists believe that teenagers “get masculine” by the age of 21, or even by 24 years. The argument is simple: at the age of 18, only a few gain independence and feel like adults. Today's young people receive education longer, decide on a profession later, separate from their parents and start a family. Thus, their search for identity is "prolonged".

This phenomenon was noted in 2000 by the American psychologist Jeffrey Arnett - the author of the theory of growing up "Emerging adulthood". He singled out a special age period between 18 and 25 years. Young people of this age are no longer teenagers, but not yet adults. They are only partly independent, since, as a rule, they do not have their own housing and live with their parents. These young people have many opportunities and few obligations. Before choosing a partner or "life's work", they can do "fitting" several times, try different options.

This is quite understandable. In today's world, uncertain and changeable, making choices in the main areas of life is becoming increasingly difficult. First, society develops unpredictably. Secondly, there are so many “ways to live your life” that have opened up. The range of possibilities is sometimes too wide for young people to get their bearings right away (see).

So, for example, it is difficult to instantly decide on education and profession. Some of them are obsolete, some are still being formed. Career trajectories have become non-linear, “winding”. In such a situation, the educational choice has an "incomprehensible validity" and is often disconnected from the future profession, Bochaver notes. This breeds insecurity and anxiety. In adolescents, it manifests itself in the fact that they:

• try to avoid choice, “tend to escapism and postponing significant decisions”;
• instead of developing a strategy, they are limited to tactics in different areas of life;
• live in the present without thinking about the future.

The race for education moves away from everyday life

In today's world, education is especially important. The standard of living of a person, his self-realization, status, satisfaction with life largely depend on it. However, the absolutization of education, the unconditional priority of study, according to many psychologists, leads to "the exclusion of the child from solving everyday problems." As a result, teenagers feel helpless - for example, they do not know how to cook their own food or change a burned-out light bulb. In this they rely on their parents. Such lack of independence hinders growing up.

Parents no longer support

Society is experiencing a crisis in the field of education. There is a heated debate about "correct parenthood", the media endlessly publish articles on this topic (see and).

In this situation, parents complex:

• constantly compare themselves with the images of the “correct” moms and dads;
• doubt their educational actions and advice, for example, regarding education.

This insecurity of parents is passed on to children. They lose their usual support, take longer to make decisions and experience more doubts.

Teenagers could be helped by adult mentors, older by about half a generation, says Alexandra Bochaver. Such a mentor serves as a “role model”, a translator of “the values ​​of the adult world by example”. It supports the formation of a dream - a fateful aspiration that streamlines a person's life path.

Alternative models of adulthood have emerged

In a transitional society, models for the transformation of a teenager into a mature person are "diversified". Alternative models of adulthood have emerged and are gaining popularity. Among them:

• "Adult children" - scammers (from the English "kid" - a child and "adult" - an adult). These are fellow sissies who remain infantile up to 30-35 years and longer. They do not easily part with childhood addictions, for example, love for computer "battles", anime or fantasy (see also Peter Pan Holiday). Both in their free time and at work, they can discuss cartoon characters for a long time.

Before the term "kidult" appeared, a similar phenomenon (or archetype) was described by Carl Gustav Jung. Puer aeternus - "eternal youth" - avoids obligations, does not want to take on adult responsibility. Modern psychologists have illustrated this type with the literary heroes Peter Pan and the Little Prince.

Among the main hobbies of scammers are watching TV shows (from The Simpsons to Game of Thrones), gadgets and computer games, including those in combination with quests (many people remember, for example, the recent euphoria of catching Pokemon), collecting (prefabricated models, transformers ), long sitting in social networks and blogs for the sake of communication and self-presentation.

Along with the "eternal boys", there are "eternal girls" - "little princesses" or "sisters" of Pippi Longstocking. In specialized stores for scammers (and they exist in Europe, the USA, Japan and a number of other countries), their attention is attracted by designer Barbies and other dolls, things with Hello Kitty cat symbols, teenage clothes and jewelry.

Scammers often create a family and raise children. By the way, they make good parents who participate in children's fun with genuine pleasure.

Modern youth is characterized by an unformed, diffuse identity, or "a multiple system of temporal and situational sub-identities," Bochaver emphasizes. However, the concept of adulthood has changed. Society's demands on mature people have become more vague. The main feature that is certainly in demand is flexibility, the ability to adapt to changing conditions.

The work is based on a series of interviews with high school students and their teachers, as well as a number of foreign studies on the topic of growing up.

As a child, it was always easier with children, but as soon as they were 13-15 years old, everything became different. Raising children has always been a heavy burden for parents. In adolescence, children want to feel independent, so they do not pay attention to the comments or advice of their parents. Sometimes they may even slam the door or close themselves in the room so that they are not pestered.

The reasons

It is important to know that during adolescence, adolescents cannot soberly perceive criticism directed at them. It may hurt them or hurt their feelings. At this age, children take everything to heart. The main role is also played by the reaction of parents to the thoughts of their teenager. If a child shares his experiences, worries and thoughts with his parents, but instead of support they scold or criticize the child, this will negatively affect family relationships.

Another reason may be that the teenager does not have a father, but has a stepfather who is unsympathetic to him. Then the child will not listen and respect what the stepparent tells him. Disobedience leads to discord in the family. A teenager may not agree with the rules that his parents set for him. If parents are categorical in this matter and raise the child as in the army, then this will further push the child to disobey and break the laws.

Often at this age, most children are prone to aggression. This can be frightening for parents and they may take strict action. But even this way of upbringing will not help to instill obedience in the child.

Do not forget that a teenager forms his own opinion and outlook on life, and they want to do everything on their own. They may feel that they no longer need their parents' advice. And parents perceive and understand this as a sign of disobedience, and not just a desire to become independent. The obedience of a teenager also depends on how his parents raised him at the very beginning.. If he was allowed to do everything before, but now it is forbidden, then this is stress for the child, and he may not understand how this happened. Such a child will not want to obey his parents and put up with prohibitions.

How to make a teenager listen to his parents?

You need to be a good listener to your child. When a teenager wants to say something, even if it is unimportant, you still need to listen to him. Children appreciate when they can just be listened to, especially parents. No need to drive the child away because there is no time to listen or fatigue. On the contrary, it is better to allocate this time, because this way the child will feel needed.

Show understanding. When parents show understanding for a teenager and his period, it will be easier for them to make rules. You should always put yourself in the place of your child and try to understand what feelings he is experiencing and what is typical of his age.

Be slow to anger. If a teenager reports some unpleasant news, or perhaps even a serious problem that has arisen, you should not scold him and lose your temper. Such a reaction can be repulsive, and then the child will not be able to trust or tell. Everything needs to be discussed calmly. Then it will be easier for a teenager to turn to his parents for help, and he will not be afraid to say or trust something. He will know that parents are always ready to help.

Be your child's best friend. To do this, you need to behave in such a way that the child feels that the parents are at his level. You need to communicate often and have a good time, give gifts to your child, be a friend who can be trusted with all secrets, all secrets, who will always understand. Then the teenager will not hide from his parents or look for friends from the street, because his best friends are always with him - his parents.

Show care. Caring parents will not climb into the personal space of their child, on the contrary, they will give him freedom, but at the same time they will give wise advice that will help to avoid serious mistakes. A teenager will not feel that his parents find fault with him, on the contrary, he will feel protected.

Show affection. When a child shares his frank experiences, you just need to pity or hug. Adolescents in adolescence want recognition, to be pitied and pressed to themselves. Therefore, caress from parents will help the child feel needed. A teenager in this case will not think that his parents are rude, he will know that they can always take pity on him.

Show love. It is important for parents to do and say everything with love. Loving parents will never do anything that will harm the child or make him unhappy.

Show patience. When a child is annoying or does something wrong, you need to be patient with him. If you often lose your temper and lash out at a teenager, it will depress him.

You need to watch your speech.. The speech of parents should be saturated with love, and not with constant moralizing. If you call a child names, point out his shortcomings, you can drive him into depression, and he will generally close up. Worse, he may start to lead a double life and engage in bad deeds that the parents will not know about at all. Loving, affectionate speech will win over the child.

Assurance of love. Parents are obligated to reassure their child of love. When a teenager is told that he is loved and dear to them, he will feel the happiest. In addition, he will not look for this love on the side of other people. Children who grow up in a loving family always grow up healthy, mentally balanced and loving towards others.

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