Drunkenness is a problem for any family. Both the drinker and his loved ones suffer from it. Therefore, the fight against drunkenness is a fight not only for a loved one, but also for saving the family. And usually the whole burden of this struggle falls on the shoulders of the woman.

But for this fight to be effective, you need to understand how alcohol dependence is formed, i.e. turn to psychology.

The fact is that drinking alcohol first forms a psychological dependence, and then develops into a physical one. Therefore, it is very important to understand why the husband drinks.

Psychologists identify several reasons:

• the husband starts drinking to drown out mental pain (betrayal, dissatisfaction, powerlessness, etc.);
• a husband may start drinking to relax, relieve tension after a hard day, or to get away from an unfavorable psychological climate in the family;
• the reason for a husband's drunkenness may be a lack of attention from his wife, a lack of female affection, humiliation, lack of recognition of merits and merits;
• a man may drink to feel more relaxed, confident and attractive. This is easy to do with the help of alcohol, unlike internal work on yourself;
• The desire to escape from problems can also lead to frequent alcohol consumption. It is known that many men tend to avoid problems and difficulties, and alcohol often helps them with this;
• Many people start drinking for company or out of boredom.

Think about which of the following problems made your husband drink? Perhaps he has another reason that is not on the surface. To determine it, you can seek the help of a professional psychologist or psychotherapist. But in any case, when trying to understand why a husband drinks, you need to approach the problem, first of all, from a psychological point of view. Well, to cope with alcoholism you should.

Alcohol primarily affects the brain centers that are responsible for the production of pleasure hormones.

That is why those who drink alcohol feel a wave of relaxation, pleasure and fun. At the same time, his self-control and self-criticism are significantly reduced and at the same time his perception of the world around him changes. Such changes occur very quickly: it is enough to drink 100-150 g of strong alcohol, and a wave of carefree and relaxation spreads throughout the body. It is these sensations that a person who, in a sober state, experiences tension caused by the reasons listed above, wants to get.

Having become accustomed to getting rid of negative emotions with the help of alcohol (a simple and effective method), a person no longer looks for other ways to solve his problems. He begins to act as if on well-trodden rails, again and again resorting to a proven remedy that alleviates his mental suffering and torment. At the same time, the problems themselves do not go away and are not solved in any way (and often become even worse against the background of drunkenness). But by reaching intoxication, the drinker seems to create his own reality, into which he can escape, at least for a while. Leaving all worries and troubles behind.

In essence, it is an escape from reality, a manifestation of weakness. But an altered reality, which gives a person freedom from mental burden, is like a mirage. She attracts, but does not save, disappearing as she sobers up. Returning to reality, a person again faces old problems. The circle closes.

Having identified the problem that makes your husband drink, you need to try to solve it through joint efforts or seek help from a psychologist. The main thing is to eliminate the cause that makes a person suffer and escape from suffering with the help of alcohol. The reason may be a crisis in family relationships or a personal crisis.

If the reason lies in an unhealthy psychological climate in the family, in poor relationships between spouses, a woman needs to think about how to change her own behavior. It is important to understand that a family is a closed system, so changing one element of it leads to a change in the system as a whole.

If the cause of drunkenness is a personal crisis, nothing can be changed without serious internal work by the drinker himself. Changing your own consciousness is a difficult and slow process. A qualified person can help with this.

But the sooner you ask the question “Why does my husband drink?” and the sooner you understand that psychological problems are the basis of drunkenness, the greater the chances of saving your husband from physical dependence on alcohol and complete personality degradation.

All treatment and diagnostic methods have contraindications. Please remember to consult a doctor!

If your chosen one does not drink often, but still drinks, whether for a reason or not, first of all, pay special attention to this. Just try to control him, just do it completely unobtrusively, without any ultimatums or scandals. Remember, men don't like being told how to live. Simply, in this situation it is necessary to approach this problem very carefully and delicately. First, you need to figure out exactly which factors in his life or environment force him to do this. And so, let's turn to the complex psychology of men and find out: if a man drinks a little, what are the reasons for this phenomenon?

As you know, the male soul is a dark forest, and we women are not always able to understand why they do certain things. But, as you know, every action has its own special good reason. It can be either internal or accompanying it in everyday life. A man may simply be dissatisfied with his job, his status, his position. You should know that it is much more difficult for men to endure their life shocks and troubles in one or another area of ​​everyday life or relationships. Because of this, instead of opening up to you and talking, they leave themselves tete-a-tete with alcohol and their problems. He gets tired of the same work, both mentally and physically, or simply cannot relax, and a glass of beer helps him with this. Also, most often, men drink alcohol precisely because of us, women. For example, if he feels that he is weaker than you, then in this case, by drinking alcohol, he subconsciously asserts himself as an individual. After all, alcohol always gives a man courage and self-confidence. Also, alcohol gives courage not only to women, but also to our so-called stronger halves. Having taken a couple of drops of perfume, just for courage, the guy can tell the girl what doesn’t suit him about her and what he would like to expect from her in the future. Another important motivator is that a man may not be happy with his family life. Constant repressions and scandals, reproaches and discontent, simply sooner or later knock him out of his usual calm and measured life. Here, the most obvious guilt comes, of course, from the woman herself, who, due to her pressure on her husband or boyfriend, encourages him, with direct, moral pressure on her part, to quench it all in a glass of strong “medicine.” By the way, it is precisely problems in his personal life that are the most important reason on the way to a man’s attachment to the fact that he starts drinking. We can also safely include the sexual aspect here. When he is not confident in his masculine strength or is sure that sex without first drinking a bottle of wine is not at all what is needed. Here, also very clearly, the reason may be that with the help of alcohol, the guy is simply struggling with his shyness or some of his internal taboos. This applies not only to intimate life. After a few drops of alcohol, he learns all the complexes, he becomes more sociable, much more relaxed and interesting. Remember men's complexes - this is their main male problem, and the stronger sex tries to fight it in every way. It is also possible that the indisputable fact is that your chosen one is simply bored with the everyday hustle and bustle, everyday problems, and so on, or he simply feels spiritual loneliness and emptiness. And going into some bar in the evening, he simply, in this way, distances himself from everything that he can say is fed up with. The conclusion in this may be that he simply does not have any hobbies and activities with which he could directly occupy himself and distract himself.

Do not forget that in this way, a man can fight his unpleasant memories and grievances in life, stress and various emotional states of the inner world. Or simply the main reason for everything is his environment, work colleagues and friends directly. As for friends, it is the company of friends that is the place where refusing to drink alcohol is simply a disastrous proposition for anyone, even a man or guy who does not drink at all. But, of course, if you look at this problem from a medical point of view, then it’s worth turning to his pedigree - after all, his craving for a full glass may be nothing more than bad genes.

And summing up the main line under all of the above, it is worth noting: why screw yourself up in advance with the idea that your chosen one drinks a little. He doesn’t go on weekly or even monthly binges, he doesn’t get drunk every day to the point of delirium tremens. If a man drinks a little, the reasons for this may be the most harmless, so do not rush to conclusions and do not label him as an alcoholic. To call him an alcoholic would be a complete misnomer. Of course, if you are a complete supporter of a sober lifestyle and do not drink drinks containing at least some percentage of alcohol, then just have a heart-to-heart talk with your chosen one. The main thing is to do this without any reproaches and hysterics. Just correctly explain to him that you are not happy with this, and you would like him to stop drinking. If a man loves and appreciates you, he will certainly listen to your opinion.

There are many reasons why a person becomes weak and starts drinking alcohol. Over the years of successful treatment, psychologists have identified the most common causes of alcohol cravings in patients. In this article we will talk about why men drink, and also analyze the problem of alcoholism from the point of view of psychotherapists.

Factors contributing to the development of alcoholism

Every woman who is faced with an alcohol problem in her family tries to understand what could have prompted her husband to start drinking alcohol. Psychologists say that any man who drinks can become addicted to alcohol for completely different, and sometimes not entirely clear, reasons. The most common factors that can cause cravings for alcohol are:

• hurt or incorrect understanding of pride;
• lack of rigidity and firmness in saying no;
• invented or non-existent problems;
• internal weakness, a person is not able to give up alcohol.

If we consider in more detail the reasons leading to the formation of addiction, it turns out that alcoholism is caused by:

• Hurt or misunderstanding of one’s own self-esteem manifests itself in the fact that a man does not see any problem in missing a glass of alcoholic drink. In such a situation, a man believes that he doesn’t feel sorry for his beloved, but in reality this is a banal manifestation of weakness in character.
• Lack of rigidity and firmness to say no. Unfortunately, there are companies that simply ignore people who do not drink alcohol. As you know, forbidden fruit is always sweet, so a person gives up and starts consuming only for the sake of being part of the team. Over time, without noticing it, the man simply becomes an alcoholic and remains completely alone.
• Invented or non-existent problems. Such problems arise quite often, and anything can be hidden behind them: a bad and grumpy wife, personal dissatisfaction, lack of respect from colleagues or friends, lack of career advancement. Quite often, the drinker finds fault with his loved ones or his wife, finds a reason for a quarrel, breaks down and finds his peace in a bottle.
• Internal weakness a person’s inability to stop drinking alcohol is also a common cause of alcohol dependence. This factor in the disease does not appear immediately, because At the initial stage, a man is able to control himself, the amount of alcohol, the dose, and the frequency of intake. In this state, a person believes there is no problem, and he can always give up alcohol. The next stage of the disease has quite pronounced symptoms and is manifested in an increase in dosage, frequency of alcohol consumption and a complete lack of self-control. In such a situation, the patient believes that he is a man and, accordingly, has the right to decide what and when to do; as a rule, he does not respond to the comments and requests of his family and friends.

For information! Men don’t tend to share or vent to their friends, so alcohol helps them forget about the problem for a while.

Alcohol addiction and internal conflict

Psychologists say that internal conflict is most often fundamental in the development of alcohol dependence. It is a person’s internal problems that can make him start drinking at any moment. Internal problems include:

• desire to relax;
• constant and excessive control by the spouse;
• lack of passion in relationships;
• “psychological fatigue” of a woman to change the situation.

A more detailed analysis of internal problems can give them the following explanation:

• Desire to relax occurs in the presence of difficult working conditions (hard physical labor, holding a leadership position), so at the end of the working day a man, after drinking a little alcohol, disconnects from nervous reality.
• Constant and excessive control from the spouse is the most common mistake made by women. Control is manifested in everything: in actions, rest, basic purchases. From constant tension, a man begins to look for a place or a way to retire, relax and assert himself. Alcohol in this situation helps to forget about constant tension.
• Lack of passion in relationships occurs most often in young families with a small child. All the woman’s attention is focused on the care and development of the child, and the husband receives only a small part of the attention and love. In this state, a person feels lonely, not understanding, and as a result finds a solution to his problem in alcohol.
• “Psychological fatigue” women change the situation. The most serious problem, because... Usually, a woman’s “psychological fatigue” leads to family breakdown. This happens due to a lack of desire to fight for her husband. As a rule, such an internal state in women does not manifest itself immediately, but over the years.

Help and problem solving

To solve the problem of alcohol addiction, it is recommended to identify the true cause of the disease. Experts advise carefully going through all the possible reasons that provoke cravings and alcohol consumption. When the reason is found, you need to act, think about your actions and words in advance, all conversations must be conducted carefully, and most importantly calmly, otherwise there will be no result. Remember, the main task is to convince the patient that he is really sick and needs professional help. A drinking man must accept that the therapeutic effect of alcohol dependence treatment is aimed at:

• correction of internal thinking;
• relieving excess tension;
• energy charge;
• formation of internal harmony.

An important stage in undergoing therapy is the support and help of family and friends. Welcome all your spouse’s endeavors, praise him; such an attitude will help a person quickly come to his senses and believe that you really need him. Your task is to help your husband and overcome his illness.

Why do men drink? Every woman asks herself this question from time to time when faced with a drunken husband late at night on the threshold of her own home. This is an exceptional case when there are dozens of correct answers to one question. And at the moment when it seemed to us for a moment that this is the root of evil, found and mercilessly eradicated, it turns out that this is just the tip of the iceberg. Alcohol has destroyed and continues to destroy families, that’s a fact. And in each case there is a reason.

First of all, it is worth clearly understanding that a man who wants to relax after a hard week of work is not a reason to sound the alarm and decide on extreme measures: divorce, coding or everyday scandals. An adequate man will be surprised at first, then get angry and start drinking more. To spite you, by the way. Are you saying that I'm bad? Well, look, I'll show you how bad I can be.

The nature of men is such that they need to relieve tension. And the point is not at all that their work, as a rule, is physically more difficult, or that you are not enough for him, or that he is not entirely happy. But the fact is that drinking with friends is his personal comfort zone and that space to which women do not have access and which partially returns him to a carefree childhood. A strange way to express yourself? Perhaps, but not the worst.

Men, accustomed to constant attention and care, are very “lost” when a child appears in the family and all attention is switched to him. The spouse is given less attention, and he, feeling his loneliness, tries to find support among men like himself who have experienced disappointment in family life.

Grief from the loss of a loved one and betrayal also cripple men. Seeing no way out and not even trying to change anything, they simply find an opportunity to relax and get away from everyday troubles. Only weak men try to blame others for everything that happens, instead of finding other ways to solve their problems.

Alcoholic man- that's a completely different story. Drinking husbands, and especially alcoholics, cannot be trusted. No alcoholic considers himself such. I’ll want to and stop drinking, but, alas, each new glass drags me even further into the swamp. And he turns out to be drunk literally the very next day. And we should act differently here.

Very often, men drink because they have a genetic disposition to do so. If you have fathers or grandfathers who drink, you should think twice before picking up a glass. The risk group is quite impressive, but you shouldn’t blame everything on heredity. Internal organization is of fundamental importance here. It is she who is responsible for the fact that a person starts drinking, while bad genes can prevent him from stopping in a timely manner. Although there are also men who drink without any reason or reason, at one time their parents did this, considering it a kind of ritual and norm of life.

Also, men who are deeply disappointed and unhappy in their family life fall into alcohol addiction, and alcohol gradually becomes a means for them that helps them feel more relaxed if the wife strongly suppresses her husband, albeit temporarily. And if before the breakup of the family men still somehow hold on, then after its breakup he no longer needs it. And meetings with friends - drinking buddies, on the contrary, further aggravate personal problems, and then the man generally loses interest in life. And the consequences of alcoholic everyday life are simply unpredictable.

It is much easier to arrange regular meetings with drinking buddies and not exhaust yourself in search of a better life. And not only does this seem quite selfish, it actually is.

Sometimes the reason a man starts drinking is simply trivial - he has nothing to do in the evening. He gets tired from work, running children irritate him, all he can do is his favorite TV with a bottle of beer in his hand. Gradually this becomes a habit, and the dose of alcohol increases.

But the worst thing is not this at all, but the fact that a huge number of families are breaking up, and the children in these families receive negative experiences in family relationships. And where is the guarantee that the same thing won’t happen to them over time?

Often walking down the street you can see men passing by with a bottle of beer or other alcoholic drink. And you freely think: “Why do most men tend to drink alcohol frequently? Why do they need this, because everyone knows how harmful alcohol affects the health of the entire body!”

Psychologists note that even if a man drinks alcohol on holidays, weekends and in extremely rare cases, this can also develop into alcoholism in the future. That is, the majority of men who drink at least once a year are at risk!

Yes, some drink a lot, and some drink a little, but sooner or later this can become a huge problem not only for the man himself, but also for his close people. Let's figure out together why men are prone to alcohol.

To drown out difficult emotional experiences

Men rarely show their true feelings about everything that happens. Often they “obviously” do not show how hurt and offended they are that they were betrayed, offended in word or deed, fell out of love, etc. But they still experience these negative feelings, although outwardly this is not visible to those around them and close people.

Of course, men need to throw out all their emotional experiences somewhere, but alcohol, as has long been known, tends to dull feelings and emotions. Therefore, after drinking the second bottle, they “seem to” no longer worry about their misfortune and life is much easier. And in fact, the next morning he will sober up, but the feelings will remain. Another bottle for the evening, but it’s not far from binge drinking. The stronger the problem, the more and more often a man can drink.

Frequent reproaches from loved ones

Nobody likes reproaches. But still, for men, constant “nagling” from their wife or other relatives can provoke severe psychological experiences, which in the future very often develops into alcoholism. After all, when a man drinks, he feels more comfortable and confident. He can “forget” all the moral teachings of his loved ones or, on the contrary, he will try to punish his offenders. This could be as verbal as a hurtful response or he could even use physical force.

Relieve stress after a hard day

There was a blockage at work, the boss shouted or quarreled with a colleague - all this takes a lot of physical and psychological strength. Of course, when you go home, you want to throw off all this burden and just spend a pleasant time drinking a bottle of beer and watching football. Alcohol relaxes, dulls the senses and allows you to push all problems into the background - this is the explanation for this whole situation.

The desire to forget and get away from family problems

Constant quarrels with my wife, disobedient children, my mother-in-law is constantly dissatisfied with something, and on top of that, my finances are not in order. I would like to stop thinking about it all, to free my brain from constantly processing the negative situation. And so, the man, without noticing it himself, goes to the nearest bar or store for something intoxicating.

To give yourself a sense of self-confidence

Rarely will a man benefit from modesty, and if he deeply doubts his capabilities, then, perhaps, nothing good will come out of this situation at all. Low self-esteem in a man is often a direct path to alcoholism, alas.
Very often, men meet girls in bars or discos. Because after drinking, he feels more confident, attractive and smarter, and therefore is not afraid to come up to meet someone. And in a sober state, he would hardly dare to do such an act, since low self-esteem would get in the way.

But in fact, men not only get acquainted for recharge, sometimes in this way they can resolve conflicts and controversial situations. That is, knowing that an important issue has to be resolved, in which it is necessary to defend one’s point of view, the man drinks so that by chance he will not be afraid to stick to his decision and not agree to the opponent’s terms.

Periodic get-togethers with friends

Met an old friend, poker on Fridays, an important football match, and, of course, a bathhouse every December 31, they often say that today a man will have a meeting not only with friends, but also with a bottle of beer, and maybe vodka.
For wives, such gatherings very often mean that today their lover will again “crawl on his eyebrows.” It’s sad, and no matter how much she asks her not to get drunk, it’s of course of little use.

“It was inconvenient to refuse”

Remember the Soviet film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears”? There was such a character - the hockey player Gurin, who initially at all feasts refused the offered glass, and then, one time, he agreed. And from this turning point everything went wrong for the hero. He drank everything, even the things he gave to his beloved woman. Yes, this kind of movie situation can also very often occur in real life.

So, even if a man categorically does not drink alcohol, whether he is an athlete, an ulcer sufferer, or simply a teetotaler, he can still become a risk factor. Remember, you only need to agree once!

These are the very basic psychological factors that can cause men to feel the need for alcohol. Take a closer look at your men, maybe right now he is being gnawed by some kind of worry or resentment. Don't let your loved one face this misfortune.

If your man has already started drinking a lot, then take a closer look at him and analyze his behavior. Listen to what he says. It is necessary to recognize the reason for drinking alcohol and, if necessary, convince the man of the need for treatment for alcoholism.

I would like to give advice to women to be more attentive to their men. Whatever one may say, they are very vulnerable, although they hide it all. One offensive word spoken at the wrong time can lead to such a serious illness as alcoholism.