Many parents, moving to a new place of residence, sending their child to school, worry about whether other people's children will have a bad influence on him. After all, in order to become part of the group, he needs to adapt to the rules and norms of the existence of this small community.
In adolescence, the opinion of peers becomes very important, competing with authoritative parental or even relegating it to the background.
Students who report watching more television than their peers tend to score worse in school and score worse on standardized tests. “Any discussion we have in the classroom is very obvious who sees more TV than others,” explains instructor Sherry Tipps. "For students with less motivation in class, mention them to a TV program and react suddenly."
As teenagers mature, excessive hours of television, electronic games and computer use lead to an accumulation of negative consequences. American children spend more time with the media than with their own school work. Seventh grade students, for example, spend an average of 135 minutes a day watching TV and only 57 minutes doing their homework.
Seeking the approval of friends, the child can afford to disobey loved ones, and in some cases, to be cheeky. So he tries himself in the role of independent and independent. These experiments with freedom are dangerous because a teenager can be persuaded to do something that he previously consciously condemned: smoke a cigarette, drink an alcoholic drink, try drugs, commit theft, robbery.
In addition to the negative academic and psychological effects, there are also bad physical effects. According to recent studies by an American General Practitioner, the number of revived teenagers in the country has increased dramatically over the past two decades. Overweight can contribute to a number of serious diseases such as diabetes.
There are other negative factors in the media as well. For example, there has recently been an increase in magazine ads, including advertisements for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco, that are targeted specifically at teenagers.
Such a disaster is not inevitable. If the child by this time has formed sufficiently strong beliefs about “what is good and what is bad”, he will find ways to resist even very strong peer pressure, will be able to keep his distance and stay away from those who are trying to drag him into serious trouble.
Your child will use your advice to help you balance media activities with other activities such as reading, talking to family members, and sharing with friends. Here are some tips on how to help your child choose wisely how they will use media.
If you completely ban TV, you will only win it as attractive as always. However, some parents ban television during the week, with some exceptions that they have agreed upon in advance.
- Limit the time your child watches TV.
- It is impossible to completely protect your child from funds.
At risk are those children who felt like outcasts in the former company and even in the parental home.
If a child is punished with physical violence, insult, humiliation, if his opinion is not taken into account, if he is not given the opportunity to make decisions on his own, he feels like a third-class person. He gets used to being led. Therefore, it is easily amenable to both good and bad influences. In the street company, he is destined for the role of the "six", he is manipulated in their own interests by the ringleaders. But here they do not criticize, they accept him for who he is.
Former director Carol Kennedy advises: "Don't look at the volume of the music, look at the lyrics." Find out about TV shows and movies that interest your child, electronic games that they want to play and the music they want to hear. If you are well aware of your child's interests, you will be able to enter your world more easily and be able to speak to it with more knowledge and authority.
- Observe what your child sees and hears.
- Ask what bands or singers you like to listen to.
Parents are not able to control every step of their growing child. It is impossible either physically or psychologically. There is only one way out - by the age of 10-11, it is necessary to have time to form in him the concepts of right and wrong, to cultivate the ability to set personal boundaries and keep them. In this case, a teenager acquires the habit of developing his own opinion and trusting him, making important decisions on his own and not succumbing to temptations. Becoming self-sufficient, he will not be afraid to oppose himself to the gop company, remaining on the sidelines.
So you can share a moment with him and learn more about the programs, games and music he likes. Talk to him about what you see and hear. Encourage your child to watch television shows on a wide variety of topics: nature, travel, history, science, biography and news, as well as programs created just for entertainment. Tell them that the TV program or movie they have seen, the radio station or music they like to listen to, and the magazine they read have a point of view. Talk to him about how the media is promoting certain ideas or beliefs that are likely to be inconsistent with theirs. family values. If your child wants to see, hear, or read something that you think is inappropriate, let them know why you disagree. Talk to your child about misleading commercials. Teenagers are very susceptible to advertising. Talk to your kids about the purpose of advertising - sell products - and how to judge if advertised products are right for them. There are also these filters to prevent your child from visiting certain sites on the computer. Most of these filters are free or don't cost much. Talk to your child about the risks they are taking when entering electronic "chats". Make sure your child understands the dangers of "talking" in in electronic format With unknown person. There is software that prevents these conversations from being used when there are children without preventing them from using the computer for other purposes. Talk to other parents. Offer alternatives to entertainment with the media. In the words of craftsman Bill Gangle, "If you give them enough activity to keep them entertained, television disappears." Given this possibility, many children choose to see it only. A day at the golf course or visiting a friend can be more interesting than another night in front of the TV.
- Talk to your child about the difference between facts and opinions.
- Teenagers need to learn that not everything they see and hear is necessarily true.
If your child is ignored, it does not go unnoticed. He worries because in adolescence, communication with peers is very important.
It is reasonable to combine the recommendations of a psychologist and illustrative examples from fiction, film and television films. And your own experience can be invaluable.The main thing is to avoid maxims like "I would be in your place ...".
Parents who turn off the TV or computer and engage in good conversation, sports, games, or other activities demonstrate other entertainment options. A modern teenager may wonder: “What was done before the TV appeared?” Show it!
These and other questions will be addressed in this study, prepared in part to expose the devil on television and his machinations against children. This question is addressed not only to Christian families, but to all parents who love their children and do not want their children to be manipulated by someone who does not allow himself to be seen; but it will be well seen after you read this study.
Find a middle ground between nonjudgmental parenting and authoritarian leadership. The authority of parents, no doubt, has a place to be. But, pressing and peremptory, it limits the freedom of the individual, and based on mutual respect, mutual recognition of natural subordination, on the contrary, forms the correct idea of freedom and self-restraint in case of danger.
In our work with children, we spend a lot of time with them in order to become very familiar with the subject. Children told us more than once that one of the drawings appeared in their dreams and attacked them. If a child tells their parents about it, they are usually told that it is just a nightmare; o Beware! There are countless children who have similar nightmares, and some of them end up in psychologists to solve the serious problem that this creates.
Please note that the problem is not only in Argentina, but all countries have this disease. We can point to several reasons that justify it. The hours of work that parents spend away from home to ensure their children have everything they need, not knowing that the most demanding is that you spend more time with them.
Therefore, even knowing the correct answer to solving the problem, you should not rush into it. Don't risk being misunderstood in your anxiety. We must carefully weigh the severity of the moment and the responsibility for subsequent actions before the child hears your words.
The period of adaptation of the child in a new team is an exam for the whole family. This is a test for the correctness and effectiveness of the chosen model of education, the effectiveness of the scale of moral values adopted in your family. published
What is most striking these days is the disturbing news of first world countries such as the United States, where children are armed in their schools and have attacked their colleagues and teachers more than once, beating one of them to death. Not so long ago, the same thing is happening in European countries.
Documentaries about the invention of television tell us that its own inventor called it the devil's machine. He was not so wrong when he sketched this phrase. Maybe he didn't even know what the devil would do with his invention. This is the reason for the serious problem. today, early maturing children.
It's no secret to anyone that adolescence one of the most difficult periods in the life of our children, and in ours too. This is the time for the formation of various harmful addictions, the time of disharmony between the inner worldview of a teenager and the requirements of society. For our children, first of all, their friends become authorities. But the life example of such comrades is not always positive.
If they represent humans, we wonder why most of them have four fingers and not five like the man and woman God created. Some point out that this is the mark they possess to reach the whole face of the earth, north, south, east and west. One thing is certain, cartoons from any company in the world are sold indiscriminately around the world.
Children are incredibly attracted to them. These drawings stimulate the child in his personality, thoughts, tastes, actions. More than ever before, various organizations are discussing the impact of cartoons on them. They recognize the permeability to assimilate various teachings due to the short and innocent age of infants.
Total control of the child
Imagine that your teenage child with a distorted perception of the whole world suddenly falls under the influence of bad company. In this very bunch of so-called "comrades" your child is addicted to all sorts of bad habits, learned a completely unnecessary model of behavior, learned to be rude and swear. Of course, you, as a responsible parent, begin to take action. And most often they are reminiscent of Stalin's times. Any free thought - execution or exile. But if the great leader did it physically, then parents often put pressure on him morally.
Notice how we're adults these days, we've been influenced by these drawings. A prime example of this is the fact that all the ladies are waiting for their blue prince: "Where did this saying come from?". Let's take a look at how Walt Disney introduced this point of expression over so many generations, and only God knows how many more. All the girls are waiting for the blue prince, Who is this prince we find in Cinderella, Snow White? We will go in part and we will analyze each of them.
This is the story of a girl raised by her stepmother. It sounds very good if we see it this way, but where do fairy godmothers appear in the Bible? Certainly not with that name; but if we call them by their real name, if: witches. The Bible combats the practice of witchcraft and everything connected with it. Then, in the palace where the party is taking place, the blue prince appears, who, as we all know, ends up giving the girl all her love and wealth, in fact, what every woman would want, fame, money and sexual happiness.
Suddenly, imperceptibly, everyone becomes a philosopher, a judge and a Chinese sage at the same time. Usually this is expressed in long, frequent and, by the way, to no avail conversations and moralizing. They usually carry a negative connotation. A teenager finds at least ten answers for every word you say. Result: things only get worse. In fact, teenagers have a tendency to contradict and, out of principle, do what they are forbidden to do. Moreover, the more you express your dissatisfaction, the more opposition your child has.
You say, "What happened to history?" Of course, because the prince, as Scripture teaches us, he is the prince of this world. What every woman says when she says: I'm waiting for my blue prince, they actually call the demon barbazul because that's his real name. This is the one who, in the masters of evil, gives sexual happiness, fame and wealth to every woman who calls on him.
o Ladies and gentlemen! be more careful when using terms that don't know where they come from. Take care of your life and expect the love of your life that God will give you; although this one is not so blue and has no wealth or fame, but if the heart is for the love of God and will make him very happy.
Think! Is it worth forbidding everything, including trifles, and restricting a teenager too much in communicating with his comrades?
Liberal-permissive attitude towards a teenager
However, not all parents behave like prison guards. There is another extreme - to let everything take its course. Such parents develop something like a motto: in life you must definitely try everything! Well, just think, your child drinks beer, smokes, swears, dresses too provocatively. All this will certainly pass. And it passes ... Sometimes ... Rarely. Basically, as a child grows up, his habits also “grow up”. And here, dear parents, you are unlikely to be able to do anything. While your child is growing, you can show your authority, then it becomes more difficult to do this.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The writer, no doubt, based on the following story, in which he lived a period of time. The time of mines and the exploitation of minerals has passed. Anyone who knows mines and especially a coal mine will know that their names are very small. Those who are best touched by them will be children. This is what the king of this city did, exploited the children, forced them to work in the mines, because of which they died very young.
The supposed Snow White was a modest lady who falls in love with the king's son and, when he tries to kill her, runs away to the village where the children worked. This is very unbelievable, but note the similarity of what happened in the Kingdom when the woman ate the Forbidden fruit and died spiritually. The prince appears in the story and takes a bite and wakes her up.
We have already said that teenagers are very strongly influenced by friends. As soon as you said that the influence is bad, your children proved the opposite to you. In the end, you gave up, gave up. Now your child is absolutely free in his actions. You think that the child can do as he wants, he will still get bored sooner or later.
Think! What if the insight comes too late? Is it even worth the risk of allowing a teenager to do whatever they want and communicate with anyone? And do you really think that you will regain the respect of the child in this way?
Democracy in Parent-Child Relationships
So, total control gives rise to a rebellious mood, a conniving attitude makes it possible to behave as you like, be in any company and listen to the advice of not entirely necessary comrades. There is another model of relationships between parents and adolescents - democratic.
There is a synthesis of the two previous ones here. On the one hand, you must control the actions of your child, but at the same time, try to give him the opportunity to choose, make decisions on his own. Teenagers begin to position themselves as adults. So it is necessary to communicate with them in an adult way. It is necessary to conduct confidential conversations, over a cup of tea, for example. In no case should you forbid the child to see his friends. Try to teach him to draw conclusions from the words and deeds of these very comrades, try to become a friend to the child. Yes, it is usually very difficult for parents, but believe me, it is possible. You yourself will like it later that your child asks for your advice and trusts secrets already in his youth.
Your task is not to forbid the child to communicate with certain people, but to push him so that he himself understands who surrounds him and what to do with it. And here's what to do, by the way, you can tell. But delicately, without quarrels and scandals. Just to give friendly advice.
If you want to protect your child, remember:
- ban less;
- talk to him more, try to highlight the importance of his decisions;
- do not let everything go completely to chance;
- do not try to protect the child from the milestones of experiences, friends and habits.
- shout less, engage in dialogue.
Our children are the most important thing in our life. Let them have their own head on their shoulders, which will help to understand who is who in this world and make existence more joyful and warm!
And you will find that very cherished middle that will help you prevent the child’s mistakes and become the best for him among all.
Specially forLadySpecial.ru - Marie Matveyuk