1. Be beautiful.
Say what you like, but the man pays attention first to the external data of the girl, and only then to her inner world. If you want to attract the attention of the stronger sex, watch yourself. Visit salons, do styling in the morning, do not forget to apply. You must forget the words “and so it will do”: a woman must be impeccable, regardless of whether millions see her or just one person.

2. Be different.
Beauty is, of course, good, but do not forget that there are a lot of pretty women. In order for a man to choose you, you must be different from the rest. This does not mean that you need to immediately run to the hairdresser and dye your hair green: just come up with a couple of original gestures.

3. Watch your walk.
Perhaps you think that walking is a secondary matter: stunning high-heeled shoes will attract the attention of men on their own. This, of course, is true, but not entirely. The representatives of the stronger sex will notice your slender legs, your desire to please, but they will not see lightness in you. Remember, a woman who can walk beautifully in slippers looks better than a clumsy lady in shoes.

4. Smile.
Men love it when a girl has a smile on her face. This can be easily explained: it is pleasant to communicate with a friendly person. It is not for nothing that benevolent people are often compared to the sun: they give light and warmth, like the ancient luminary.

5. Be well groomed.
Never allow yourself to appear in front of a man in a washed-out bathrobe and tangled hair. Whether you are in the mood to dress up or not, do not pull on a stretched sweater and. Respect others, understand that it is unpleasant for them to see an untidy person. Spending thirty minutes getting ready will not make your bad mood worse, and maybe even get better.

6. Don't be aggressive.
Men are afraid of women who are too active. They do not like to be prey, because they are accustomed to consider themselves hunters. Do not deprive yourself of the pleasure of watching your chosen one try to win you over.

7. Don't be smart.
A woman who knows about everything in the world and demonstrates it at every opportunity is not perceived by men as a potential companion. They may respect her, but they are unlikely to decide to start building a relationship with her. For what? She is independent, moreover, she knows more than they do. Understand that it is hard for the representatives of the stronger sex to come to terms with the fact that they are worse than ladies in the affairs of “male” (the “female” matters include taking care of the child and maintaining comfort in the house).

8. Don't pretend you don't need men.
Inaccessibility can be attractive, but not always. It is one thing when a woman shows a man that she is not easy to win, another thing is when she demonstrates her indifference to him. In the second case, the person is likely to stop the assault and prefer to retreat. Don't let him go.

9. Know how to be affectionate.
Whatever your image, know how to throw off the mask, being alone with a man. He needs a soft woman who knows how to listen and understand, and not a cold, albeit beautiful Snow Queen. A vamp woman is rarely happy in her personal life: she attracts men, but their passion does not last long.

10. Appreciate yourself.
Never hang yourself on the neck of men, do not run to the first person you meet. No matter how much you love a person, let him know that you are not a dog, and if he does not pay due attention to you, just go to another. Believe me, a woman who values ​​herself will always find someone to go to.

Today, I hear from many women that men have become kind of lack of initiative, they don’t want to achieve them and are generally lazy. In part, this may be true, since today everyone has switched to the virtual world, spend a lot of time on the Internet, losing strength and energy there and losing their desire: women to admire, men to conquer.

But there is a share of guilt and the women themselves, who turned into hunters. I really like the writer and psychologist Svetlana Ermakova, the creator of the methodology. She very succinctly called such women "catch-ups." Today I want to present some of her tips from the methodology and convey to women one simple thought:

The men have stopped hunting, because the "game" itself runs towards them with open arms. Who would be interested in such a hunt?

In a pair there is always a catcher and a runaway. Or, to put it another way, one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved. This does not always happen, but often. Or in a couple, love is mutual, but one is still always a little more interested in relationships. And it is highly desirable that this “more interested” be a man. This means that he must be catching up, and not vice versa. And today, many women live life "catching up." And then they complain that normal men have disappeared, have become extinct as a species.

No need to chase a man! It is necessary to interest him, ask him riddles and ... run away. And if you do not run away, then they will not catch up with you. And if you are catching up, then they run away from you! Imagine a cow chasing a bull. Or hen after rooster. They calmly do their own thing (nibble grass, peck food) and do not pay attention to males. The rooster will probably be shocked if the chicken suddenly starts running after him, he will clearly consider her “crazy”.

Therefore, the more you run after a man, the faster he will run away from you. As Svetlana put it: “The more a woman suffers from a lack of His love, the more a man suffers from an excess of HER love.” Do not become hookers and catch-ups, take better care of yourself, your inner world and mood.

No need to chase a man

So, how not to stop him from falling in love with you?

I think that you should not run after a man, you already understood. But how to do it in practice and what is this "not running"? And it consists in five non-actions.

5 non-actions

1. Always remember that as soon as you turn into a catch-up, a man loses interest in you. Do not try to please a man in everything and make his life pleasant. Take ONE step towards him only when he takes TWO steps towards you.

2. Do not blame a man for not paying enough attention to you. And behave in such a way that he listens to you. Attention is not required, it is called. Do not ask him questions: “when will you call me”, “where have you been”, “where did you go and when will you come”. Don't tell him: "Hug me", "Kiss me", "Show me off"...

3. Finish the conversation first (including on the phone), without waiting for him to be the first to say goodbye to you. You probably noticed that the one who says goodbye first has some kind of moral advantage (after all, he has things to do and more important than talking).

Men always feel chased (as well as non-chasing), so try to say goodbye first. Your goodbye may not be the end of the conversation, the man will probably continue it. But by your behavior you will create a situation where a man will have to catch up. After all, you are running away!

4. When hugging, no matter how hard it is, step back first. Don't wait for him to pull away from you. Let him hug you, you give in, answer him, but move away first. And don't initiate hugs. For many, they are very inopportune. He can at this moment think about something, be preoccupied with something, and long hugs are imposed on him. This can cause annoyance and a desire for these hugs to end as soon as possible.

When a woman is often the first to hug a man, and even keeps him in these arms for a long time, she deprives him of the opportunity to catch up with her, conquer and win. You are depriving him of his most important need - to catch up (and win)! Men by nature are “winners”, and even if he does not always succeed in winning, he still always wants to do it. Therefore, if your man does not catch up with you, he will catch up with another.

5. Don't let him know that you are "his forever". And don't be the first to tell you that you missed him. This word in itself is very insidious. You think that with this word you make it clear to the man that you are glad to see him. But men often perceive it as "I fell in love, I feel bad without you, I'm all yours."

There is also another meaning. People are very afraid of boredom. Watch people and you will see how almost all their activities are aimed at combating boredom. And when you say you are bored, you sound dangerous, because boredom is contagious!

As soon as you stop running after the man and start running away from him, he will start to catch up with you. When he starts to catch up, he will start thinking a lot about you (“why didn’t she pick up the phone”, “where was she in such a hurry yesterday”, “does she love me”, and so on). The more a man thinks about you, the more he will become attached. The more thoughts, the stronger the love!

The complete technique "Do not stop him from falling in love with you!" can be ordered HERE . There you will also find information about the content of the methodology.

Say goodbye first, leave first, hang up the phone first, and be the first to say goodbye. A man who is interested in you will start to catch up with you. And if not, then this is not your man, and sooner or later your relationship would have ended anyway.

Do not run after a man, but take care of yourself! Fill, fill and fill yourself with love and inner light! Take care of your body, take care of yourself and cherish!

You can also access the free Secret Knowledge Base for Women, which contains many hours of videos on the topic of falling in love, holding and building happy relationships. You can access the database HERE .

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Whether you're tired of chasing the man you love or you just want to feel the thrill that comes when you switch places with your lover, it's absolutely possible to get a man to run after you, and not vice versa.

Steps

Part 1

How to get his attention

1. Catch him looking at you and walk away. Of course, you can approach the man who is looking at you and start a conversation. He may enjoy talking to you and fall in love with you even more... or he may become more and more intrigued by a beautiful woman who passed by, and he may want to know more about her. Let his eyes rest on you and wait for him to come to you. Or, if you know you'll see him again, approach him next time.

   • Of course, if you really want to approach him, it may intrigue him and seem like something out of the ordinary. You don't have to be so careful if it's not your style.

2. Live your life. For guys, there is nothing sexier than a girl who lives her own life. If your life is full of meaning, satisfies you, you follow your career or passion, and have a few hobbies or interests that are important to you, then you will be the one to get to know. Whether you want to be a writer or you just really like to draw, you will interest a guy a lot more if he sees that you are interested in so many things besides himself. If you only watch TV and wait for his call, then he will not be intrigued.

   • If you keep yourself busy with various interesting things, you can become a more interesting person who is worth getting to know.
   • If a guy thinks your schedule is loose because you're not doing anything, then he's less likely to run after you because he'll always know where to find you: at home.

3. Surprise him with your confidence. Guys can be intimidated by overconfident girls, but they are also very attracted to them. Show him that you love yourself and what you have to offer the world. Instead of feeling insecure, always complaining, or waiting for confirmation from your boyfriend, know that confirmation comes from within. If you are happy with who you are, the guy will be happier with you because he will know that he can enjoy your company instead of always cheering you on.

   • Of course, everyone can work on becoming more confident. Over time, you can start spending more time on the things you love to do, open up your body language and maintain good posture, and forget about the nasty little things you don't like about yourself.

4. Flirt with him. You have to flirt if you want a man to run after you. You have to make eye contact, play with your hair, tease him, and maybe even blush and act more feminine to get his attention. You can playfully touch his arm, give him a little smile even if he didn't say anything funny, and just be playful and fun when you're together. Flirting should spark his interest and let him know what it's like to date you. Flirting should be easy, fun and exciting.

   • Don't push. Flirt a little and then move away. Make him work on it.

5. Be sexy. Find out what sexuality means to you and get going. If that means fixing your hair and nails, then do it. If it means looking natural and using just a little lip balm and a big smile, then go for it. You can wear sexy clothes or just fit clothes that make you feel great. Do things that make you feel confident and give the impression that you are taking care of your appearance. If you want a man to run after you, then you have to make a little effort.

   • This does not mean that you should do anything that seems unnatural to you. You want him to run after you, not the version of you that wears two kilos of makeup on your face and walks around in uncomfortable stilettos.

6. Show him that other men are paying attention to you. Don't talk too much about the time you spend with other guys, otherwise the guy will notice that you are trying too hard to get his attention. Instead, show him that you are talking to other guys and be yourself when you do it. Don't laugh too hard, don't touch him too much, or act like you're trying too hard to make him jealous. It should happen on its own. Whether it's going out with your other crush or just a platonic friend, be actively involved in the conversation and be interested and the guy will be jealous of you.

   • Although this is very stupid, it is true that if other guys are interested in you, then you become more desirable. A guy will want you even more if he sees that others want you too.
   • Make sure it doesn't go too far, though. If a guy always sees you with other guys, he might think that you like to flirt or that you're not interested in him.

   Part 2

   How to keep him hooked

   1. Don't always be there. If you pick up the phone as soon as he calls, or you agree to go on a date with him, even if he calls you a few hours in advance, then he will begin to think that nothing interesting is happening in your life except meeting him. If you want a guy to run after you, then he must think that there is a lot going on in your life and that you are hard to keep up with. Of course, you don't want him to think you're so busy that you don't have time for him or he'll get bored, but find a balance between being busy and free time so you have time to date and keep him interested.

      • If he calls you, don't pick up the phone right away. It's best to wait a few hours before calling him back.
      • The same applies to messages. If he texts you, wait a while before replying to him, unless it's something urgent.

   2. Be a little loose. Once you've established a relationship and spent time together a few times, don't be afraid to show him that you're in the mood when you're not together. You need to call him at work and tell him about the things you would like to do with him. This will keep him thinking about you until he gets to you. Do not overdo it, choose the right moments, and he will be at your little legs.

      • Pick the right time. You don't want to tell him you're in a playful mood if he's going to a job interview or spending the day with grandma.

   3. Surprise him with your kindness from time to time. Of course, hard-to-get games are a lot of fun, but if you overdo it, he will start to think that you impossible touch. You have to give in and give in a little so that he understands that you care about him. Prepare dinner for his birthday. Call just to say hello. Buy two tickets to see his favorite team play. Do something nice to keep him interested and then pull back again. If you cook dinner for him every day, then yes, he will start to take you for granted.

      • Find a balance between playing hard-to-get and giving everything to him all at once. You can't always behave one way or the other.

   4. Don't tell him everything right away. If the second he meets you you tell him that you have five sisters, that you dream of becoming an actress, and that you have a difficult relationship with your mother, he will feel that it is not so difficult to get to know you. Instead, make him work hard. Tell him one and unique thing about yourself when you first meet, and then serve up those rare details like the tastiest chocolate during your subsequent meetings. Make him work hard to get to know you; if he thinks that you are putting everything out, then he will not try.

      • Men love to feel that more introverted or less open women are opening up to them. They feel like they have won a prize.

   5. Do not seek communication with him as often as he does with you. Let him be the one who calls more often. Let him text you to say hello. Wait for him to offer to go to a party together that you both must attend. Although you don't have to do this all the time, you should wait for him to show a lot of initiative, while you should appear busy, or that you have too many important things to worry about if he calls you. Of course, you can still keep in touch with him or suggest a great date for the two of you, but make sure he reciprocates the same.

      • No one said that these strategies were designed for the patient. If you're the type of person who goes crazy waiting for a guy to contact you instead of taking the lead and steer the relationship in the direction you want, then this is going to be difficult for you.

   6. Have fun with your girlfriends. Don't be one of those girls who stops calling her girlfriends as soon as she gets a boyfriend. You should have fun with your girlfriends and enjoy bachelorette parties, regardless of the status of your relationship. If a guy sees that you enjoy going to dances with your girlfriends, drinking cocktails with them, or just hanging out with them, he will think it's cool that you don't forget about your friends. He will also be jealous of you even more because he will think about all those guys who can approach you during these bachelorette parties!

      • The time you spend with your girlfriends will keep you focused and help you not obsess over your boyfriend.

   7. Be unpredictable. If you want a guy to keep chasing you, you need to keep him interested. Suggest a random weekend trip. Swim in the sea, even if the weather is a bit chilly and windy. Go to a diner for a date. If you always do or say the same thing, then you will bore him, and he will stop running after you. But if he doesn't know what to expect, then he will be right where you need him! You don't have to be spontaneous 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but take the opportunity to surprise him when the moment seems right for you.

      • Fight the urge to plan, plan, plan everything and leave something to chance. Let him pick you up from home without asking him what you will do every second of the date.

In this article we will consider the situation when a woman runs after a man. We will also try to convince women that this is not necessary.

Unfortunately, the form of unrequited love is much more common than mutual. Many women are ready to literally do anything for the man of their dreams to reciprocate. Unrequitedly in love with the fair sex, they are easily manipulated and persuaded, while often becoming victims of marriage swindlers and gigolos, because they believe that they can win a man with exemplary behavior, gifts, financial security and other benefits.

Today we will analyze: is it worth running after the object of sympathy, in what cases is it worth fighting for love, and are there any chances to build a relationship if the partner does not have feelings for you.

Is it worth chasing a man?

Many women are ready for any sacrifices and concessions for the sake of mutual feelings. Often, the fair sex is no longer guided by common sense, neglecting personal interests and principles. However, there are several arguments in favor of why you should not rush into all serious and run after a man. Among the main ones, psychologists distinguish the following:

• Men love difficulties: to conquer the fair sex, conquer her and prove their devotion. It helps them to reveal their personal potential and increase their self-esteem.
• Women who are ready to give in to their principles and interests will not be able to become support and support for a partner, because they cause mistrust, because one day they will be able to betray their lover just like personal priorities
• The obsession of the fair sex kills any desire to take the initiative and offer help.
• The lack of personal space and self-interest pushes the partner in search of new sensations, and often other lovers
• The availability of a woman does not motivate her partner to develop and achieve spiritual and financial enrichment
• A man's realization that the fair sex depends on him morally pushes him to various manipulations in relation to her.

It is also necessary to remember that relationships are the work of two partners. After all, no matter how hard a woman tries to keep her beloved, in the absence of common interests, a common outlook on life and similar values, the couple will not be able to find harmony in the future. Therefore, the fair sex should motivate men for all-round development, as well as build relationships on equal terms, not succumbing to emotions and personal insults.

What's wrong with a woman running after a man?

Many women prefer to seek reciprocity from men on their own. This fact is explained by several factors:

• A similar pattern of relationships was traced in her close circle.
• Lack of a positive image of a man in life
• Uncertainty in one's own beauty and charm
• Prolonged absence of any close contact with the opposite sex
• Confidence that financial security is more important than mutual respect and moral support
• Fear of loneliness and childlessness
• Exaggerated ideas about men
• Excessive demands on your partner
• Lack of sexuality and femininity

In order to stop building relationships with a person who does not show reciprocity towards you, it is important to find the reason that pushes you to a similar form of love and psychological dependence on a partner.

The following methods are suitable for this:

• Psychoanalysis
• Professional psychological consultation
• Dance lessons
• meditation

Dancing and yoga, like any other type of physical activity, will help to reveal female potential: develop flexibility and plasticity, as well as teach you to control your passion, emotions and improve body skills that raise self-esteem and sexuality.

Well, now we list the consequences of a woman running after a man:

• The representative of the stronger sex loses interest in the partner
• There is no proper distribution of responsibilities in relationships
• Gender role reversal contributes to the manifestation of such qualities and behavior in men that are characteristic of women.
• Relationships lack understanding and respect for each other
• A partner whose feelings do not have a mutual emotional response feels inferior and may become depressed or acquire a psychological disorder.
• A woman experiences her own inadequacy
• The fair sex acquires complexes and self-doubt
• At a time when a woman is trying to attract the attention of one man, she does not notice worthy partners next to her.

Why doesn't a real woman run after a man, and why don't men like to be chased?

Many ladies are surprised why some of the fair sex never try to please men, but they do not experience a shortage of fans, while others try in every possible way to attract attention, but for some reason they are bypassed.

In order to understand what is the difference between such opposite behaviors, it is necessary to note the general and various factors of behavior. Among the main ones are the following:

• A confident woman doesn't need outside encouragement.
• A strong lady has priorities, interests and work. Therefore, he always knows what to do with his free time without girlfriends and a man.
• A real woman takes care of her external beauty, health and education. She regularly expands her knowledge in various subjects, looks after her figure and uses cosmetics.
• A strong personality does not depend financially, morally or psychologically on his partner. She has a profession, skills and experience, so the material condition of her lover does not play a major role
• A real woman knows how to build relationships. She accepts a man without trying to change him
• A self-confident lady will not tolerate a gigolo, a gamer, a cheater, or another man who does not match her mental development. 'Cause she knows she deserves only the best
• A real representative of the fair sex is not shy about her age, weight and shortcomings, but at the same time, she knows how to emphasize her advantages.

The psychology of women who are used to seeking the love of a man has several common characteristics:

• Weak ladies are not very self-confident and do their best to hide their shortcomings, creating the image of an ideal hostess, employee and woman.
• The fair sex did not have healthy full-fledged relationships
• Women are accustomed to prove their devotion and loyalty by deeds. Therefore, they win the object of sympathy with the help of gifts, food and various surprises.
• Weak ladies are envious, often gossips. They rarely manage to build relationships with strong personalities.
• Insecure women have many complexes and doubt their attractiveness

In order to determine why men do not like it when a woman shows persistent signs of attention, it is important to consider the situation from the point of view of representatives of a strong part of humanity. Psychologists identify the following factors:

• A man stops feeling like a "hunter"
• Loss of motivation to win the object of sympathy
• A man does not need to look for a way to get closer to his partner with the help of flowers and gifts, because he knows that she is ready for anything without them.
• The representative of the stronger sex is given a greater choice of women, because using his own beauty and charm, he can conquer any woman without any effort.
• A man does not need to spend time going through all the stages of a relationship, so sexual intercourse can happen at no cost.

Of course, there are a considerable number of representatives of the stronger sex who are obviously looking for weaker partners. This is due to a number of complexes and psychological problems that are typical for such men. However, such relationships cannot be called healthy and fulfilling, because most of the people who are in them are not happy.

Why after a breakup you don’t need to run after a man: psychology

Breaking up with a partner is not easy for most women. Especially if the relationship lasted a long time. However, don't try to get your ex back. Psychologists also agree that experienced relationships should be forgotten without trying to renew them. The following arguments support this opinion:

• There will be no more harmony and respect in relationships. Our consciousness is arranged in such a way that it constantly returns us to past memories and emotions, so it is physically impossible to forget insults and misunderstandings.
• You must understand the reason for the breakup and analyze your behavior in order to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
• Parting for women can be a new life stage. You need to take care of your appearance and inner beauty, as well as spend as little time as possible alone with thoughts about the former.
• If your young man betrayed you once, then he will gladly disappoint you again.

• You are not in love with your current partner, but with the image that you remember from the first stages of your relationship with him. However, people can change under the influence of many factors, so it is impossible to return the person you fell in love with.
• Rekindling a relationship with an ex will not solve the problems that caused you to break contact with him earlier.
• You may miss out on a real chance to build a personal life with another partner while you are carried away by the past.
• If a man really needs you, he will take the initiative himself: he will meet, call, write a message, send a gift by delivery service, etc. Regardless of his financial situation and other factors

If you are unable to forget your ex-partner, you should not give signs of attention first. Give the man a chance to rehabilitate himself and take the initiative on his own. It is this act that will help you realize the likelihood of further development of your story, and also show the true attitude towards you.

Never run after a man, let him run after you: tips for girls and women, fall in love with yourself for life and keep a guy, a man

Understanding human relationships and feelings is sometimes beyond the power of even highly qualified psychologists. After all, each person means by the phrase “ideal partner” a list of those qualities that may be unacceptable for others. However, in the case of unrequited love, you should not give up. You always need to fight for your right to happiness, while not succumbing to humiliation and psychological pressure from the object of sympathy or society.

The best way to get a guy's attention is to get him back to showing an interest in your personality. And to achieve this goal, you must be guided by the following tips:

• Get interesting. Try to figure out what your object of sympathy is into. After all, common interests will help start a conversation, and will also interest both in long-term communication.
• Do not put pressure on a man and show your interest in every possible way. Let him take the first step
• Try to appear in the same places where your chosen one is most often. However, remember, you must remain steadfast in any situation. Therefore, if he regularly visits a bar, remain a lady even in such an institution.
• Respond to messages in a neutral way, and do not make long pauses in your responses. He must see that you value his attention and are interested in communication.

• Agree to go on a date. No need to reject his proposals, because the man will think that you just do not feel sympathy for him
• Awaken passion in him. Send a photo or message that is provocative, but don't overdo it. Not many members of the stronger sex like vulgar women, but piquancy and eroticism will not leave anyone indifferent
• Be independent. Do not ask men for money and help. He must see that there is no infantilism in you, and you are a holistic, formed personality.
• Let the man control the situation. He can make his own decisions and take actions. Support his initiative and do not criticize
• Accept your object of sympathy, his family, profession and hobbies without reproaches and moralizing. Nobody is perfect, but a man should feel calm and confident that he is loved. It is this factor that motivates the representatives of the stronger sex to take care of women and give feelings and emotions with additional impact.

How to stop running after a guy, a man, but get him interested: tips from the book by Rashid Kirranov

Rashid Kirranov is a renowned relationship psychologist. His book "The Psychology of Men" reveals the secrets that will help women not only better understand the opposite sex, but also build harmonious long-term relationships. Some of the fundamental foundations of his book are:

• Men are not 24/7 earners. In moments of despair, they also deserve attention, care and affection, like the fair sex.
• In order to build strong relationships, it is necessary to discuss conflicts, disputes and claims.
• Do not give gifts and support financially
• There is no need to be afraid to take the first step, but it is important to keep your distance and not impose your feelings
• Don't let a man live in your territory

• A woman needs to be sincere and clearly articulate her wants and needs.
• Do not agree to close contact if you are not familiar enough, and also if the partner does not show respect for you
• Stand up for your point of view and don't let yourself be manipulated

Unrequited feelings sometimes lead to mutual sympathy, love and marriage. However, do not forget about the purpose of a woman and her own priorities. After spending years trying to win the object of sympathy, the realization may suddenly come that the ideal man is very close, who does not need exploits and sacrifices for the sake of love.

Video: How to stop being afraid to be alone and not run after men?

Why do women often cling to a hopeless relationship with a man?

There is a considerable percentage of women who, in the event of parting with a husband or partner in a relationship, can only last two weeks at most. In most cases, the woman herself tries to renew the relationship even earlier. In such a situation, the woman, as if the culprit of something terrible, again returns to the family or to the man, despite the fact that he himself can be a terrible drunkard, rowdy or a casino player. A woman can experience immediately after a quarrel with such a man a burning hatred for him, anger, resentment and other negativity. However, she still makes attempts to renew relations. A man in such cases may not react at all to female care, not to mention the manifestation of love for a woman in everyday life. But for some unknown reason, the woman seems to cling to this man, as if to the only saving straw, contrary to at least some common sense.

Scandals in the family or relationships can be repeated with enviable regularity. Often a man, realizing that a woman will return to him anyway, begins to openly manipulate or even use her. But the woman is not afraid. As soon as the husband promises that they will soon go to the sea together, or in general he plans to get a new job, the woman immediately returns to him, as if completely forgetting about all the insults. Why do women hold on to those men with whom, in fact, they do not see happiness? And what can you advise them so that they can objectively look at their lives with such a partner? After all, a woman at the same time can be very beautiful, smart and quite promising. She may have all the chances and prerequisites to better arrange her life instead of clinging to a person who has long ceased to be her soul mate. The reason for such absurd behavior on the part of many women lies in the fact that they tend to harbor hope for a man to change. Many of the women are confident that they will be able to positively influence the character and fate of a man, even if he himself does not have to think about it. As a result, in an attempt to re-educate a man, a woman herself is trapped. With each new scandal or quarrel, a woman makes even greater efforts to change a man. It seems to her that a little more, and everything will go differently. At the same time, a man can spend the whole day lying on the couch with a remote control in his hand. But a woman, looking at a kind of domestic sofa animal in sweatpants with long sagging knees and a beer belly, not striving to recognize anything else around, for some reason believes that suddenly he will start reading smart and informative books by himself, invite her to the theater or a restaurant, will want to make more long-term plans for their lives. A woman can literally climb out of her skin, expecting miraculous changes. But they are in no hurry to appear in life. Changes in a particular person can only begin as a result of a reassessment of established values. Neither the wife nor the children can influence this process. In psychology, there is even such a professional term as "the wife of an alcoholic." It is typical for a woman of this kind that she can sincerely resent her husband’s bad habits and behavior, but at the same time she tries in every possible way to find an excuse for him. If the husband began to raise his hand against her, she will find an excuse for him that she herself prepared a tasteless dinner, which means she is guilty of her husband's reaction. If the husband loses the last in the casino, then most likely the boss does not give him a quiet life at work. Quite often, such a system of family relations takes root for a long time, if not forever. It will be possible to break this vicious circle only on the condition that the man himself wants to make changes.

Among the reasons that a woman clings to an initially unsuccessful union with a man, there may be one that is expressed in fear of being left alone. Often men, who can be safely called domestic tyrants, process the psyche of a woman with such phrases: "Who else can you need, except me?" or "It was I who picked you up from the mud and made you a good man." At the same time, a common move among men may be to mention female age with such a message that after a certain number of years it will be difficult for a woman to find someone else. Women, due to their natural weakness, in most cases cannot adequately resist such attacks. Of course, the problem of female loneliness can be very acute in modern society. Middle-aged women outnumber the male population many times over. Yes, and by tradition, people still treat a single woman with a share of compassion. In addition, a woman can be actively influenced by friends, parents and other relatives. Often, arguments from the outside can serve as such that a single woman will have absolutely no one to turn to in solving everyday problems. For a lonely woman, her husband will not hang shelves or a mirror in the bathroom, will not help her carry bags from the store, will not repair the meat grinder. However, by getting rid of her tyrant husband, a woman will eliminate the obligation to worry about a delicious lunch and dinner every day. Today, in addition, there are quite a few special agencies that are created to send workers for the purpose of hammering nails or clearing blockages in the sewer.

Many women, under the pressure and influence of stereotypes that are imposed by society, believe that in the event of a divorce they will no longer be able to arrange their lives on a personal level. But is it reasonable to endure the antics of a tyrant husband because of such prejudices? Psychologists recommend that if a woman is not able to make a rational decision, write down on a piece of paper in a column all the shortcomings and real advantages of her spouse or partner. Usually, after this test, a woman understands that there are just not too many pluses. Often women continue to endure bad and humiliating treatment from a man just because women's self-esteem is very low. Even if, after another trick of her husband, a woman, it would seem, made the final decision to divorce, low self-esteem begins to dictate its terms. As a result, a woman is overcome by doubts about whether she can live without a husband or a man whom she literally has to endure. Thoughts settle in her head that despite the stormy temper, the man still sometimes behaves quietly, besides, he promised that this would not happen again. Gradually, a woman is completely affirmed in her thoughts that a man will eventually become an ideal father and husband.

The main part of the complexes of any person is laid down in childhood. And self-esteem begins to form, too, during childhood. The fault that the woman eventually became insecure lies primarily with her parents. Often such insecure people become those of the children who rarely heard parental praise addressed to them, but they turned out to be literally accustomed to criticism. At an older age, yesterday's girl, under the influence of such an upbringing, can no longer objectively or adequately assess her personal merits. Therefore, they lack the belief that they can rightfully claim only the best in life. For such a woman, as a result, the opinion of others becomes more important than her own. As a result, a woman in all seriousness may believe that she herself provokes the negative attitude of her husband or partner. If rudeness emanates from a man, then it was she who turned to him in the wrong way. If he hit, then she deserved something like that. If a woman does not take effective measures to increase her self-esteem, then even after divorcing this man or leaving him, she will continue to meet the same tyrants in her life. It's just that a woman with low self-esteem herself does not admit that she can count on a better attitude towards herself. Therefore, it is simply necessary to work on personal qualities in terms of asserting one's own merits.

Sometimes there are situations when a woman cannot leave a man with an extremely unpromising relationship with him as a result of dependence on him. Such dependence can be expressed in different manifestations: emotional, material or sexual. In addition, often subconsciously a woman is glad that she has to take the position of a victim in a relationship. After all, at the same time, she is counting on the support of society, the compassion of her more successful friends. A woman can even truly get used to the fact that others constantly feel sorry for her. And this creates all the prerequisites for turning the situation into a special psychological dependence. Also, often the reason that a woman does not leave her negligent spouse is material gain. Not a few women endure the constant betrayal of her husband, his disregard for himself for the sake of a fairly high-quality and familiar way of life. As an emotional attachment, a woman may form a sexual dependence on a man. Usually, a woman is convinced that no other partner can be so deeply imbued with her intimate needs. Because of such thoughts, a woman endures the rest of the minuses of a man. Also, a woman may cling to a relationship with a man for the reason that children, according to generally accepted tradition, must necessarily grow up with their father. But such a stereotype is similar to the opinion about female loneliness. There are quite a few happy and literally full-fledged families where children grow up away from a careless dad. Summing up, it should be said that most often women cling to unpromising relationships for a combination of the reasons considered. All these dependencies are excessively exhausting the female psyche. As a result, the woman becomes extremely irritable and nervous. Therefore, if you had to learn about such situations firsthand, then consulting a psychologist can help you.

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Alexandra Panova 19.06 00:53

I clung to such a hopeless relationship because of the fear of being alone. Of course, I understood that this would not last long, but there would still be a period of loneliness. And here everything is familiar and native. Even if you feel that the former passion and love is long gone. And, most importantly, it won't. But change is even scarier. I imagined that I needed to explain my decision to the guy, to choose the right words, so I immediately put it off for later. And "then" still did not want to attack. I became irritable, found fault with everything, raised my voice. But it's not the guy's fault that it's me, with my fear, I can't finally decide what I want. As a result, the relationship still fell apart, but for a long time and painfully.

OlgaS 24.06 15:10

The self-esteem of a woman largely determines the quality of the man who will be next to her. Our Soviet women are used to pulling everything on themselves, to keep the hearth and endure men's antics. They were so taught from childhood that there should be a husband, and the fact that in fact he does not play any positive role in her life, but on the contrary, only adds problems, it is somehow customary to keep silent about this. Men, to be honest, often use this. I absolutely agree that public opinion, for the sake of which a woman ruins her life for unpromising relationships, often exceeds in importance the very concept of love, intimacy and psychological comfort.

marianna 27.08 16:37

Honestly, I can’t even remember from my environment a single hopelessly lazy or overly cowardly woman. Everyone seems to be with their heads on their shoulders, and they look good, and succeed in their careers, but, so to speak, many do not smell of promising relationships with the second half. In my opinion, the problem is not laziness, not the fear of loneliness and not the stereotypes of society. We women think differently than men. We feel subtly, we have a rich imagination, and men lack neither ingenuity, nor dexterity, nor coquetry to deceive us - we always know when something is wrong, but we ourselves are glad to be deceived. After all, every time she meets a potential groom, any girl involuntarily imagines how he turns into her prince, looks at her with loving eyes, repairs taps in the house, cheerfully throws up their common kids. Names are thought out for the kids in advance, a cozy house with pies is drawn in the imagination - a woman sees her happiness. And throughout his life he does not want to give up this image, he believes in it, he is waiting for it. A woman thinks about her chosen one: either he or no one else. There will be no love, there will be no image of happiness. There will be another, but will there be love? .. I can say for sure that women who have been loved since childhood, who have been supported in everything, who have been raised self-esteem by their parents - especially dads, do not cling to fictional happiness.